Just a weird interaction

Angeliquesmom · February 2014

First I'll start off with: Is it weird that I haven't shown my coworkers my ultrasound pics? Because I find the idea of showing them weird.

Anyways the weird interaction I had yesterday:

One of my coworkers (around my mom's age) started the conversation off with, "Between me and you, the reason I'm looking so much at your belly..." and then she whips out her phone and pulls up a pic of her daughter (older than me) showing her bump and says, "This is [daughter's name] at 9 weeks..."

Now, it was a significant bump. Looked farther along than 9 weeks....but what do I know? I'm a FTM and haven't been around a lot of pregnant women. So I asked, "How tall is she?" "You're height." (short)........."Well I don't know what her body type is." "About like your's." (I'm average build, fair bit of muscle but also some soft areas), "Is this her first?" "Yes.".........

o_O; I really wanted to be like, "Get to your point, lady!" or "What do you want me to say?" at her, but redirected the conversation back to work matters.

WEIRDDDDDDD.

ETA: clarification.

eortman · February 2014

That is totally weird. It sounds like she almost doesn't believe you are pregnant or something. Good luck with her :-)

AnotherPreggo · February 2014

Ha! Yeah, it does sound like she doesn't believe you're pregnant. I would have been really annoyed.

TRS48 · February 2014

Ugh that is just rude of her. She needs to mind her own business! I am 15 weeks and am getting really annoyed of everyyyyyone saying "you dont look pregnant!"... some people just grow differently.

ichamommy · February 2014

Somebody tell me what o_O means...

Angeliquesmom · February 2014

ichabody said:

Somebody tell me what o_O means...

it's a face, kinda like an eyebrow raise. for whatever reason I didn't have access to the emoticons when making the post. See: 8-| for something similar.

TurtleMonsters · February 2014

That's weird, thought I didn't get her scepticism on your preg until you all brought it up. I'd have pointed out that maybe she's just fatter;) hee hee

pantherRN · February 2014

I took this totally opposite as everyone else. It sounds to me like you are judging this co-worker's daughter for being big at 9 weeks...

I'm really confused.

INmommy871278 · February 2014

That's beyond weird. Every person is different when it comes to pregnancy which includes how much you are showing. I would have asked if she was pregnant with twins.

Angeliquesmom · February 2014

pantherRN said:

I took this totally opposite as everyone else. It sounds to me like you are judging this co-worker's daughter for being big at 9 weeks...

I'm really confused.

I didn't understand why she was comparing the two of us in the first place. Oranges to apples. No two pregnancies are the same....or so I've been told. It was just weird how she approached it, I feel.

She didn't show me a pic of her daughter and my reaction was, "WHOA MOMMA SHE'S HUGE! ONLY 9 WEEKS?!" So I don't get how you think I'm judging her. She has a nice baby bump. I do not. How is that judging??? I'm confused.

pantherRN · February 2014

Angeliquesmom said:

pantherRN said:

I took this totally opposite as everyone else. It sounds to me like you are judging this co-worker's daughter for being big at 9 weeks...

I'm really confused.
I didn't understand why she was comparing the two of us in the first place. Oranges to apples. No two pregnancies are the same....or so I've been told. It was just weird how she approached it, I feel.

She didn't show me a pic of her daughter and my reaction was, "WHOA MOMMA SHE'S HUGE! ONLY 9 WEEKS?!" So I don't get how you think I'm judging her. She has a nice baby bump. I do not. How is that judging??? I'm confused.

You said she had a significant bump and looked further along than 9 weeks. You also said that you asked questions about her daughter's build. If her size didn't matter to you, you wouldn't have said those things or asked the coworker the questions.

The whole interaction is just weird, that's all.

strmbreez · February 2014

Wow. Rude!!

I had someone stop me the other day and say, How far along are you?? I don't believe there's a baby in there!

Of course, I took it as a joke. If they needed clarification, the next time I get sick I could invite them along...

Angeliquesmom · February 2014

pantherRN said:

Angeliquesmom said:

pantherRN said:

I took this totally opposite as everyone else. It sounds to me like you are judging this co-worker's daughter for being big at 9 weeks...

I'm really confused.
I didn't understand why she was comparing the two of us in the first place. Oranges to apples. No two pregnancies are the same....or so I've been told. It was just weird how she approached it, I feel.

She didn't show me a pic of her daughter and my reaction was, "WHOA MOMMA SHE'S HUGE! ONLY 9 WEEKS?!" So I don't get how you think I'm judging her. She has a nice baby bump. I do not. How is that judging??? I'm confused.

You said she had a significant bump and looked further along than 9 weeks. You also said that you asked questions about her daughter's build. If her size didn't matter to you, you wouldn't have said those things or asked the coworker the questions.

The whole interaction is just weird, that's all.

I guess I asked questions because I was hoping to get to why the coworker was showing me in the first place (and used the weird wordage to START the conversation off that way). Clearly it didn't. More curious BECAUSE I know everyone carries differently. Coworker obviously a) doesn't get that or b) was trying to off-handed remark on the differences (that's what I'm going to take away from it at least)?

Angeliquesmom · February 2014

milestrellas said:

Angeliquesmom said:

pantherRN said:

I took this totally opposite as everyone else. It sounds to me like you are judging this co-worker's daughter for being big at 9 weeks...

I'm really confused.

I didn't understand why she was comparing the two of us in the first place. Oranges to apples. No two pregnancies are the same....or so I've been told. It was just weird how she approached it, I feel.

She didn't show me a pic of her daughter and my reaction was, "WHOA MOMMA SHE'S HUGE! ONLY 9 WEEKS?!" So I don't get how you think I'm judging her. She has a nice baby bump. I do not. How is that judging??? I'm confused.

From how you wrote about your interaction, it doesn't necessarily sound like she was comparing the two of you. Maybe she just wanted to share her daughter's pregnancy with you since you're pregnant?

It also sounds like you were judging her by asking her about her body shape, as if somehow her bump was unfitting for how far along she was but knowing her body shape would determine that.

That can definitely be it. The way she went about it was strange, IMO.

Please see my response to pantherRN for that second half. I meant no type of disrespect about her body at all, pure curiosity. Also I love alllll types of bodies. If only you knew! : )

Ylvelill · February 2014

I have only shown my mother and my god daughters (and their parents) my ultra sound pictures, they are kinda weird looking

livkight · February 2014

Weird weird weird.

I'm convinced that pregnancy brings out the terrible social skills/tactlessness of people that you otherwise thought were normal.

beff12 · February 2014

livkight said:

Weird weird weird.

I'm convinced that pregnancy brings out the terrible social skills/tactlessness of people that you otherwise thought were normal.

100% agree - I have had so many people make random comments and I just want to shake them and say TELL ME WHAT YOU ACTUALLY MEAN. My brain can't handle trying to sort through their ways of beating around the bush. I had a little girl at school today get in my face and say, "Do you hope it's a boy or girl?" and I told her neither. Haha I'm so tired of getting asked that!!

BlueFox181 · February 2014

Well, I feel like I am huge... and I'm a FTM. I have people ask all the time- are you sure it's not twins? I even had my husbands aunt tell me that I should have taken a picture with Shamu when we were at Seaword- because we looked alike- I was only 12 weeks at the time. Thanks b*tch. Just sayin- we all carry differently. Here I am when I was only 13 weeks? Ugh.

Angeliquesmom · February 2014

BlueFox181 said:

Well, I feel like I am huge... and I'm a FTM. I have people ask all the time- are you sure it's not twins? I even had my husbands aunt tell me that I should have taken a picture with Shamu when we were at Seaword- because we looked alike- I was only 12 weeks at the time. Thanks b*tch. Just sayin- we all carry differently. Here I am when I was only 13 weeks? Ugh.

wtf totally gorgeous! And yea that was a bitchy remark on her end....wowies. :S

Angeliquesmom · February 2014

Update-y:

After talking to DH, who does know enough of coworker (and like some PPs have said, yea she's kind of an awkward person sometimes....she can be hard to read), he thinks that

it's actually her DIL (because both of her daughters already have children) and the whole, "Between me and you" part was really, "Hey she's only 9 weeks (ie-not past first trimester) but I'm excited and want to show you"

SO *big shrug* I think when I see her on Thursday I'm just going to ask what she wanted out of that interaction, because *insert talking about feelings here*. : /

Csltdk · February 2014

People make comments to me all the time like I am lying about being pregnant. People are weirdo's and I think they think that its a compliment when in fact it just gives anxiety ( to me anyway) and I start to think maybe my bumps not a normal size.

And then I eat a plate of pasta and am over it.

Angeliquesmom · February 2014

Csltdk said:

People make comments to me all the time like I am lying about being pregnant. People are weirdo's and I think they think that its a compliment when in fact it just gives anxiety ( to me anyway) and I start to think maybe my bumps not a normal size.

And then I eat a plate of pasta and am over it.

I honestly thought a lot on it today. Started to make me feel self-conscious like, AM I EATING ENOUGH? Maybe I'm not eating enough and starving my baby? Maybe something happened between last appointment and now?! Maybe my baby is hugging my spine? IDEK.

JayBzo · February 2014

Angeliquesmom said:

Update-y:

After talking to DH, who does know enough of coworker (and like some PPs have said, yea she's kind of an awkward person sometimes....she can be hard to read), he thinks that
it's actually her DIL (because both of her daughters already have children) and the whole, "Between me and you" part was really, "Hey she's only 9 weeks (ie-not past first trimester) but I'm excited and want to show you"

SO *big shrug* I think when I see her on Thursday I'm just going to ask what she wanted out of that interaction, because *insert talking about feelings here*. : /

This is what I thought too - only because my mom keeps telling stories about how so-and-so at work is only 8 weeks but you can tell, and she SOOO wanted to share that she was going to be a granny and I would not let her. She has since been released to share the news and I feel bad for anyone and everyone who brings up anything baby related because guess what, you are getting news you probably don't care about haha!

alyssa719 · February 2014

bunny0711 said:

I read it almost like the co-worker was questioning why her daughter looked so much farther along. Could the mom be questioning when her daughter actually conceived?

So, I assume she knows you're pregnant and isn't trying to get you to come out and say it, right?? Sorry if I missed this, but I didn't see it in the initial post... all that said, I'm more on the boat with her questioning her daughter more than you if she feels like her daughter looks bigger than you do and says she's 9 weeks...

Angeliquesmom · February 2014

alyssa719 said:

bunny0711 said:

I read it almost like the co-worker was questioning why her daughter looked so much farther along. Could the mom be questioning when her daughter actually conceived?

So, I assume she knows you're pregnant and isn't trying to get you to come out and say it, right?? Sorry if I missed this, but I didn't see it in the initial post... all that said, I'm more on the boat with her questioning her daughter more than you if she feels like her daughter looks bigger than you do and says she's 9 weeks...

Sorry, yes~everyone at my work already knows. I really don't know if that's what she was doing or not. Seems like a weird (that word again!) thing to bring up to a coworker instead of the daughter....?

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