XP: daycare teacher pulled me aside today

Meery82 · February 2014

Our daycare has twice a year room changes. Today was the first day of a small move. Everyone moves in August but only some move rooms in February. When I was leaving the daycare this morning, one of the float teachers pulled me aside and asked if Jack was still in the same room and if he was going to move. I told her no, they aren't moving him. She told me that he's the oldest kid in the room and that he should have been moved to the next room; he walks and talks normally so she doesn't see why he was kept where he is and doesn't think he will be challenged enough. I didn't think it was a problem until she said this. I was actually a bit relieved that he wasn't moving because I know how attached he got to one of his infant room teachers and I wasn't sure how well he'd do moving to a new place after only 6 months.

So I called and talked to the director today and asked her why he wasn't moved. She said part of it was based off his walking issues a few months ago. (Back story: he didn't walk until 17 months. A few weeks after he started walking, he went back to crawling because he had fluid in his ears and was off balance. Tubes were placed in December and he immediately went back to walking and now runs. No physical issues now. He is now almost 20 months.) The director said the biggest reason for not moving was his attachment to the teachers. She wasn't sure if he would do too well with new teachers at this point. He does have some trouble with drop off; clinging to me and crying. The teachers help distract and calm him while I leave. I thought this was normal toddler behavior. She said the kids in his class aren't way younger than him, some are only a few months younger.

I think for now, I'll let him stay where he is. It's hard for me to tell how he's doing in there; he only goes 3 days a week and I only do drop offs; DH or my mom do pick ups since I work late. I thought about going in early sometime to watch him interact with the kids, but I think I would be more of a distraction and he would be too worried about what I'm doing. The director said if I continue to be concerned, I can always call her again to discuss it.

Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? This is my first kid and this is all so new to me. I'm not sure what I should or shouldn't be doing here. Sorry this is so long!

jesuisfatiguee · February 2014

I wouldn't really worry about it. Sounds like they don't want to rock his little boat emotionally, and that is probably best for him right now. Especially if some of the kids are only a couple months younger than him, I'm sure they'll challenge each other enough

jlaOK · February 2014

My daycare also has a half-year move. They also take the kids personalities into consideration when deciding who moves up and don't just do it based on age. I love that they do this. DS is a shy kid and doesn't handle new situations very well. He hasn't always moved up with older kids because of this.

I would trust the teacher's decision since they explained how they came to the decision. If they or you feel as though he is bored and needs to move up, you can evaluate that at a later time.

It seems as though they were very open with you and were also willing to listen to any concern you have. Sounds like you're in a great daycare.

jbatch · February 2014

I think it was very out of line for the teacher to tell you that. I think the director and or other teachers most likely had a reason and I find it very unprofessional that she would say that to you..

Meery82 · February 2014

Thanks for the replies. Tomorrow, I'm going to ask his teachers what they think, but I'm probably going to leave him be for now. If he's happy and thriving, then I don't consider it a problem. I will watch and make sure that doesn't change.

jf198400 · February 2014

I would want to know how old is your child, how old are the kids in his current class, and how old are the kids in the next class? If he is doing well and you are happy with where he is then I think it's fine for him to stay. My DS moved from infants to toddlers at a year old. I would not have been happy if he had to stay in the baby room for another 6 months. In the baby room there is no group schedule, so DS napped like crap. As soon as he moved up to the room where all kids are on the same schedule, he finally napped better, which made things much easier with bedtime and less crankiness at home. So for us, it would not have been a good situation. But if your DS is doing well, has a good routine, etc. then I'd leave him be.

Meery82 · February 2014

Ok, so I have an update. I called today to see how Jack was doing at daycare. I asked his teacher for her opinion on him not changing rooms. She told me that she's glad I asked because she and the other teacher think he definitely needs to move to the next room. They actually went to the director and told her this. The director replied with the same thing she told me. The teacher said that there are kids who moved that are younger than him and there is no reason he should be staying where he is. They love having him but thinks that is what's best for him. The director also didn't mention that there are two kids in his current class that are not even a year old yet! The teacher said some of the kids don't really talk either. She said that Jack doesn't use quite as many words as the other kids in his previous class and she doesn't think it would benefit him at all to be around younger children that don't speak much.

For me, this changes everything. I had no idea his teachers felt this way. I value their opinion over the director's, since they are the ones who are with him all day long. The teacher told me she wanted to say something to me this morning when I dropped him off, but didn't want to stick her nose in my business (or something along those lines). I told her never to hesitate to share her concerns with me. I have no other way of knowing! I think I'm going g to call the director tomorrow and tell her he needs to move. My husband is pissed that the director made this decision without consulting us, especially since Jack's teachers disagree with her decision.

tig594 · February 2014

If you're concerned about his transition see if they will let him spend a little time in his new room each day. Each day perhaps he can stay a little longer. This will give him the chance to feel out his new environment and get to know the other teachers/kids he'll be spending his days with. My day care did this when they were planning on moving DD from the infant room to the wobbler room and the transition was seamless. They actually did it with all the babies that were transitioning. They started about 3 weeks before the permanent move.

Meery82 · February 2014

tig594 said:

If you're concerned about his transition see if they will let him spend a little time in his new room each day. Each day perhaps he can stay a little longer. This will give him the chance to feel out his new environment and get to know the other teachers/kids he'll be spending his days with. My day care did this when they were planning on moving DD from the infant room to the wobbler room and the transition was seamless. They actually did it with all the babies that were transitioning. They started about 3 weeks before the permanent move.

I think he will do fine with the transition. They do the them to their new rooms to acclimate them. He is picked up later than most kids, so they combine rooms at the end of the day. When DH picks him up, he's usually in a different room with different teachers. He always seems to be playing and having a good time. I talked to the daycare again today. He will be moving rooms on Monday.

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