LGBT Parenting

Pregnancy Check-in

How is pregnancy treating you and/or your spouse/SO? Any updates to share? Please remind us how far along you are and when your EDD is! :)

QOTW: Tell us a pregnancy question that you have (or maybe had earlier on, but have since answered) that you think is silly or you have been afraid to ask. Then, friends, let's answer each other's questions, because there is no such thing as a silly question -- especially in pregnancy!

Me - 30, My wife - 31 , Together for 10 yrs - Married August 2012

5 medicated IUIs w/ RE (March - July 2013) = BFN

Fresh IVF Cycle in September 2013 resulted in 18 mature eggs, 16 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5. Transfer of 2 Grade A blastocysts on 9/15/13, and 10 embryos in the freezer!      *****BFP on 9/25/13 - betas: @10dp5dt = 232; @12dp5dt = 465; @15dp5dt = 1,581   *********William George born June 4, 2014*********

Re: Pregnancy Check-in

  • KLeigh1 said:

    Hello all and Happy Monday!  I have an EDD of July 26th and tomorrow will be at 15 weeks.  This morning I had my first appointment with the new OB (last week I mentioned not liking the one I went to.  They are AWESOME!  So nice and helpful, so I am excited and so much happier. 

    I am feeling good other than a lack of sleep at times, but really no complaints.  My belly is tiny, but popping out a little.  I was happy to hear the heartbeat again this morning.  It was at 143, which the doc said was good.  Yay!  It looks like we can find out the sex on the 28th.  We are really excited. 

    @KH826, Good idea with the questions.  I only have 3...

    1.  When did or will you tell your boss? 

    2.  When the OB asked you if you want to do the screening for downs, did you do it? 

    3.  On your first pregnancy, when did you start to show?  Just curious.

    Jumping in from the other threads, but I wanted to say I'm so happy you found an OB that you are happy with!

    TTC our first. Married to, and madly in love with, my beautiful wife. Living with our fur baby and enjoying 19 nieces and nephews. 
    • DW and I have been tracking, preparing, getting medical testing since January 2013.
    • First Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 08/02/13: BFN
    • Second Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 09/11/13, 09/13/13, 09/15/13: BFN
    • Third Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm: 10/13/13, 10/15/13, 10/17/13, 10/21/13: BFN
    • January 2014: Sonohysterogram shows excellent lining & tubes have no blockages
    • Fourth Cycle:  Monitored clomid cycle  w/ ICI's at home: 1/24/14 and 1/25/14. Ovulation verified:  BFN
    • Fifth Cycle: 02/2014 Femara 5mg with ovidrel trigger CD14: BFN
    • Taking a few months off to evaluate if we want to keep trying


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  • KH826KH826 member
    edited February 2014

    @sarahtrpt - I will have to defer to some others who are further along or have delivered before on the timing for cervical checks in the last month. I can tell you that my cervix has been checked once so far (after my anatomy scan they did an internal ultrasound to check the competency of my cervix and my amniotic fluid levels). I think the cervix can only be checked via internal ultrasound or internal exam... but I could be wrong...

    @KLeigh1 - So glad you like your new OB! That is really so important - having an OB you trust. To address your questions...

    1. I told my boss at 8 weeks, but that was because he already knew that we were doing IVF, so he was expecting some news. I needed to explain my last minute absences and time needed to appointments, etc. throughout the IVF process, so I told him when we were starting IVF. By 8 weeks I think he was waiting for an update HAHA. I will note that I have a mostly good relationship with my boss and we do sometimes discuss personal things, so it did not feel too soon for me personally to tell him at that point. Also, I was really struggling with morning sickness at that point, and I just wanted him to know in case I needed to come and go, etc. at different times.
    2. We screened for downs (and the other trisomies) at our NT scan at about 12 weeks. They usually do that scan between 11-13 weeks, I think. Did you have that done?
    3. Well, this is an IVF pregnancy, and I had OHSS from stimming so I was nice and bloated from VERY early. Now I know this is not the same as showing, but it also makes it more difficult to tell when true showing starts since I had my beloved "blump" for most of the first trimester. I will say that I was in maternity pants by 11 weeks, and I had a small bump (not sure what the bump to bloat ratio was) by 12-13 weeks. By 16 weeks people were noticing, and I felt that there was definitely no hiding it beyond that point. I would be curious to know how my body would have reacted to pregnancy in terms of showing without IVF and OHSS. I am sure I would not have been "showing" as soon. Now I have a definite baby bump and there is no denying it is a baby. My tummy is hard and baby is moving around in there, so I know that it is more than bloat at this point.

    As for my update this week...

    I am 22w6d today. EDD is June 3rd. Things are chugging along. My OB appointment last week was good (I was relieved!), and baby is still measuring a week ahead. She is moving around a lot more now. I feel her everyday, but still more some days than others. She is most active in the morning and at night, but there have been a few days where she has been jumping around a lot mid-day too, which is fun. I really enjoy the movement. It is still "strange" sometimes to remember that is a person in there squirming around, but it is the best kind of strange I can imagine :)

    Other than sproadic sleeping issues and swollen ankles (mainly at night and at the end of the work week), and also some back pain that comes and goes, nothing else really to report. Nothing complaint worthy, just things to take note of. I am sure as time progresses, true complaining will start HAHA!

    QOTW: Here's what I would like to know...

    • Tell me about the gestational diabetes test? That will be coming up for me next month and I am really nervous about it. I am quite gaggy in general (especially in pregnancy) and I don't deal well with textures (i.e. I still can't eat bananas after a bad experience in the first tri, the consistency just totally grosses me out). So I am worried. I have heard the drink can have a "chaulky" thickness to it. I fear I am not going to be able to get it down...
    • I also have some anxiety about the birthing process. We will be signing up for classes next week for March, and we recently bought some books that have been recommended. I would like to *try* to go natural, but be open to whatever I need in the moment once I actually see what labor is like for me. I have mentioned that to my family who have asked and they think it is a horrible idea. I think we can also file this under my family seems to have very little faith in me and think I am a whimp but that is totally baseless in my opinion. At any rate, I will definitely admit that I am scared. So my question is, for those who have been through birth before (or have been been through preparing for birth before), what are the top three pieces of advice that you would give to someone approaching this for the first time?

    Me - 30, My wife - 31 , Together for 10 yrs - Married August 2012

    5 medicated IUIs w/ RE (March - July 2013) = BFN

    Fresh IVF Cycle in September 2013 resulted in 18 mature eggs, 16 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5. Transfer of 2 Grade A blastocysts on 9/15/13, and 10 embryos in the freezer!      *****BFP on 9/25/13 - betas: @10dp5dt = 232; @12dp5dt = 465; @15dp5dt = 1,581   *********William George born June 4, 2014*********
  • Morning All :-)

    I'm feeling chipper this morning since I started it with half a slice of French Toast (left over from yesterday) and lemon curd - yummmm. 

    I'm almost 28 weeks,  due 4/29.  I'm feeling really good right now pregnancy wise and I'm holding on to that. I remember getting rather uncomfortable toward the end last time, but I'm hoping that keeping up with a toddler will give me extra strength this time - LOL, probably not!! Still have a cold or flu or something, now with a cough and runny nose. BUT it's much better than I felt a few days ago so again no complaints here.

    We have our first official mid-wife appointment tomorrow evening. Our midwives R & E are coming to our house at 7pm to meet with us and sign contracts, etc.  R was our primary midwife last time and became our friend.  I'm so excited and grateful that we'll be working together to deliver baby #2. 

    I feel little Owen kicking around everyday which is comforting.  And it seems that yesterday seemingly overnight my belly grew.  I now look even more pregnant. Before that growth spurt I was having some BH contractions so I should have known something was happening.

    I finally got around to ordering some pregnancy books (most of the ones I had last time were on loan from a friend). I ordered the Birth Partner, Birthing From Within and I downloaded Ina May's book via kindle.  I remember these books being pretty helpful last time.  I started reading Ina May's book and it got me thinking about all the birth stories. I realize that my second labor is not going to be "easier" than the first.  But I'm hoping that I can bring to the experience more awareness this time. I really liked labor, it was a trans-formative and amazing event. Yes it was hard and even "painful". But in the end I got to see a part of myself that all the "extreme sports" I've tried were not able to show me. It was really - well amazing.

    Q&A:

    Cervical Checks: @sarahtrpt, first of all WOW 36 weeks, how exciting - you're so close to meeting your LO!!  Yay. If I remember correctly we did a check around 38 weeks, and then maybe weekly thereafter. I also had my membranes stripped twice by our midwife at 40ish weeks and a couple/few days. During labor I had a few checks too (I wanted them for status updates).

    Regarding BH - I've had a few thus far into the pregnancy, but last time I remember they came with increasing frequency. I think changing position, or exercise (like walking on the beach, or hey up the stairs) would also sometimes bring them on.

    @KLeigh1 - congrats on 15 weeks and a great first OB appointment.  Both our boys had heart-rates of around 143  - so I'm curious to see if the HR theory holds true ;-)  Can't wait to see your post after the appointment on the 28th.

    1 - My first pregnancy I told my boss at 12 weeks (unfortunately we lost that pregnancy a week and a half later). The second pregnancy I told that same boss closer to 20 weeks. Everyone at work "knew", but since my loss was pretty public too - people were very respectful to wait until I was ready to announce it. Which was generous since I had already started to show the second time.

    2. We opted to not do the screenings.  Sometimes I wish I knew I had an all clear - but my fear was that if I heard a percentage even if it was 1/1,000,000 that I'd stem on that and not enjoy the pregnancy.  In the end we would not opt to terminate, so we decide to go into it blindly.

    3. For the first pregnancy I never passed the "bloated" look, though I'd started to wear maternity pants because anything tight on my waist drove my crazy.
    The 2nd pregnancy I jumped into maternity gear early (maybe 8 weeks), and started to show around 12ish weeks, really showed by 20 weeks.
    This pregnancy I was in maternity clothes from the beginning (I mean I never got out of them  - JK ;-)  But i did start wearing them early again - 6 or 8 weeks. And I started to show early 10 weeks-ish.  Really show around 16 weeks and now well I feel like I look 40 weeks (I don't, but that's how I feel sometimes).

    My QOTD:

    1. Favorite pregnancy/birth/baby books?

    2. Are you planning on using a certain approach to manage labor (like hypno-birthing or the bradley method)? 




  • @Flygirl1228 - They called us a week after our NT scan with the results of the blood work. Also, the NT scan and associated blood work does not tell you the sex. The Harmony/Mat21 test will (although with 2 babies not sure how that works exactly). I think you might just be in for the long haul and have to wait until your anatomy scan to find out. Good news is, you are more than 1/2 way there to your anatomy scan! :)

    Me - 30, My wife - 31 , Together for 10 yrs - Married August 2012

    5 medicated IUIs w/ RE (March - July 2013) = BFN

    Fresh IVF Cycle in September 2013 resulted in 18 mature eggs, 16 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5. Transfer of 2 Grade A blastocysts on 9/15/13, and 10 embryos in the freezer!      *****BFP on 9/25/13 - betas: @10dp5dt = 232; @12dp5dt = 465; @15dp5dt = 1,581   *********William George born June 4, 2014*********
  • @KH826 I thought the blood work was a mat21 or Harmony test but they didn't tell us for sure so I'm just guessing. There was so much info in that apt. With the test it'll at least state that there is at least one boy in there or no Y chromosome is both girls. It'll give me a clue. Our anatomy scan is at week 20. I think I just may die waiting that long. ;) lol
    So, they do blood work as part of the standard NT test, which is what you probably got. If you had the Materni21 or the Harmony test, you would know it. They only do that test for people under the age of 35 if there are risk factors. Your Dr would have talked to you about this. If you are under 35 and no risk factors, the test is elective and IF the dr is still willing to do it for you then you would have to pay out of pocket and it is pricey. I am think the blood work you had was just the NT blood work. I could be wrong, but based on the info you shared, that is my guess...

    Me - 30, My wife - 31 , Together for 10 yrs - Married August 2012

    5 medicated IUIs w/ RE (March - July 2013) = BFN

    Fresh IVF Cycle in September 2013 resulted in 18 mature eggs, 16 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5. Transfer of 2 Grade A blastocysts on 9/15/13, and 10 embryos in the freezer!      *****BFP on 9/25/13 - betas: @10dp5dt = 232; @12dp5dt = 465; @15dp5dt = 1,581   *********William George born June 4, 2014*********
  • Pregnancy is treating us just fine as of right now. We are 5 wks and 1 day (EDD Oct 5) so I'm sure there will be plenty more coming LOL.  I am still not sleeping, and really do not know what to do to help with this. I have slept in another room for probably 5 out of the last 7 nights just so I can get rest and so can M. No nausea yet, thankfully.

    QOTW: I'm not sure of a specific question...so I will just ask....Now what? (LOL) I knew the IUI process in and out. Now that we are actually pregnant, I have no idea what to do with the down time LOL. 


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    Married to M and proud mothers to Olivia and Elise (8/19/2014) and to our fur-babies: Capone (pitbull), Jax and Atticus (cats)


  • 1.  When did or will you tell your boss? 

    2.  When the OB asked you if you want to do the screening for downs, did you do it? 

    3.  On your first pregnancy, when did you start to show?  Just curious.

    1. I have already told my boss b/c I have had to leave for several doctor's appointments during the school day. I have a great working relationship so I had no worries telling him, but I know not everyone is that lucky
    2.This is a discussion M and I are having. I do not want to have them b/c I'd rather not know, M wants to know but isn't sure why she feels the need to know in advance
    3. Haven't gotten there yet! LOL

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    Married to M and proud mothers to Olivia and Elise (8/19/2014) and to our fur-babies: Capone (pitbull), Jax and Atticus (cats)


  • 17 weeks 3 days, EDD July 11th

    My wife is the cutest. She tells me everyday how much she loves me and how she loves me so much more now that I'm pregnant with our little one. She thinks everything I do is adorable. So for her it's great haha. I on the other hand with I could figure out how to sleep. Last night I woke up at least 6 times and was sooo uncomfortable. Sometimes my back was aching and other times my uterus felt like it was going to explode. I am at a loss for how to make it better. Everything else is great though. 

    QOTW- I'll answer some of the others first:
    1. Sadly, I don't know anything about cervix checking or BH since we aren't to that stage yet. 

    2. I told my boss much earlier than I had planned (about 5 weeks) during a conversation about my stepmom. She reacted way differently than I had expected and it all worked out okay.

    3. We have decided not to do any screening other than the anatomy scan. We wouldn't terminate or do anything differently and the tests aren't 100% conclusive so we figured there wasn't a reason for us to. 

    4. This is my first pregnancy and I could tell I looked pregnant (or just really bloated) pretty early on. My uterus popped out a few weeks ago though so around 14-15 weeks I guess.

    5. We talked with our midwife about the GD test this weekend. She told us that if you are worried about the drink there are alternatives so you might want to ask about that. Like just drinking or eating something with the same amount of sugar, about 50 grams, which is similar to a regular soda and it's certainly not hard to find other high sugar items. 

    6. We are going to give the Pink Kit a try, midwife really recommends it. I just started reading some books, including the Ina May's and Birthing from Within. 

    I don't really have any questions that I can think of. I certainly don't hold back when we meet with the midwife and she answers all of them. I did ask her about the narrow pelvis issue and she laughed about that one and said not to worry. 




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  • I'm grumpy today. The weather is gross -- it is kind of horizontal-sleeting outside -- and I just went out in it to go to my therapy appointment but my therapist wasn't there. We are supposed to get snow again all day on Wednesday and more over the weekend and I am over it. I didn't get much sleep, I'm not excited about what I brought for lunch, I'm nervous about my anatomy scan on Wednesday. I vowed I would eat healthy this week now that I am finally feeling well and the Super Bowl food has gone away (and because I have to weigh in at OB office on Wednesday), but I just want to stuff my face with cookies. I should be in a good mood since I am finally over my series of illnesses, but I am just kind of in a funk. Hopefully I will get over it soon!

    Pregnancy-wise, things seem to be fine. I have occasional mild RLP and my belly is definitely getting bigger and more firm, so it seems like Mr. Baby is growing. Nevertheless in true PGAL fashion I keep worrying that there won't be a hb when we go in for the anatomy scan on Wednesday. Or that there will be but they will find something else wrong. There is a slightly elevated risk of birth defects when you are on Prozac, and this is likely when we would find out if something was wrong. Odds are everything will be fine...but of course I worry. I'll just be glad when it's over and we know all is (hopefully) well.

    I'll just stick to the questions I can answer... :)

    @Kleigh1 -- Much like KH, my boss knew early because I told her about all the IVF stuff. She probably knew by 5 weeks, but we also have a good relationship and share a lot about our lives so it was not weird for her to know (she's also known about both my losses). That said, I didn't want her boss or her boss' boss to know until after my NT scan came back looking good. At that point I was 13w+ and feeling pretty confident in the pregnancy. And I didn't want the rest of my department to know until we got the Mat21 results back.

    We were an automatic yes on the first-tri screening. My philosophy is that I want as much information about this pregnancy as I can get. They don't just screen for Down's but also for other trisomies (13 and 18), which are incompatible with life as far as I understand it. I've also read that with Down's babies there can be an increased risk of heart issues, and it can be helpful to have a specialist on hand when you deliver, which you can only do if you know ahead of time that the baby has it. At 35, I have an elevated risk of chromosomal issues, and since I assume that was the reason for my two previous losses, I knew that a good scan would go a long way toward making me feel confident that this pregnancy was viable. Because I am 35, I also had a cell-free fetal DNA test (MaterniT21), which detects about the same things as an NT scan but with higher accuracy (around 99% vs 90%). Also, quite frankly it was another opportunity to see the baby on an ultrasound.

    As for showing, I'm still not obvious at 17w, but my belly is definitely bigger -- I moved into a larger size for pants around 12 or 13w I think and now I really need to get some maternity pants. But I carry some extra weight in my belly and I'm not wearing maternity clothes yet, so it probably just looks like I'm getting chunky. If you're thin, I think it's easier to tell earlier. Also it depends on what I wear -- if I wear a maternity shirt I look pregnant, but if I don't I just look chubby. Some people also just pop earlier than others, but my OB said it would probably happen around 20w.

    Also glad you found an OB you prefer!

    @Jazibel -- I am just starting to research birth classes. I can choose from a standard Prepared Childbirth class, a Natural Childbirth class, or Hypnobirthing. Honestly I have no idea what I want to do right now. The hypnobirthing is tricky with my wife's schedule so it may lose out on those grounds!

    My questions:

    1. What is the deal with sleeping on your back? I've read that you shouldn't after 20w, and I've read that it really doesn't matter. I'm a back sleeper and I'm still comfortable on my back, but it's starting to make me paranoid.

    2. Have you looked for a pediatrician yet? When did you start looking? Did you interview or just pick?
    Married my wife 8/2007 ~ TTC #1 since 7/2011
    9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
    IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
    ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
    FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
    Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
    FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
    EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
    *Everyone welcome*

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  • KH826KH826 member
    edited February 2014
    @ball.and.chain - I am grumpy and in a funk today too! I have been fighting it all day, but I am just emotionally miserable for no valid reason. Maybe it is the weather... we are getting ANOTHER snow storm today 5-9 inches, coming down as we speak, and I am sitting at work wondering why I didn't just opt to work from home today. My ride home is going to be awful. At any rate, I am sorry you are feeling funky, and I am sorry I seemed excited that you were feeling this way too (HAHA) -- I have just beeing trying to shake this all day and I can't seem to. So to read your first sentence of your check-in, I was just like "thank goodness I am not the only one today!" I hope the day gets better for you... hugs!

    Me - 30, My wife - 31 , Together for 10 yrs - Married August 2012

    5 medicated IUIs w/ RE (March - July 2013) = BFN

    Fresh IVF Cycle in September 2013 resulted in 18 mature eggs, 16 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5. Transfer of 2 Grade A blastocysts on 9/15/13, and 10 embryos in the freezer!      *****BFP on 9/25/13 - betas: @10dp5dt = 232; @12dp5dt = 465; @15dp5dt = 1,581   *********William George born June 4, 2014*********
  • Good afternoon everyone! Oh boy, this thread is full of a lot of information.  Just an updated I am almost 10 weeks and my EDD is 9/2.  My due date seems forever away, but I love that the weeks just keep adding up!
    I am still very tired, not sleeping well and have severe constipation.  I haven't been one to sleep well in years, and it seems like I am peeing a little less at night but just am restless.  I know this is adding to my exhaustion.  But it seems like even if I do get a few good hours I am still tired, so I am just accepting it for now.  As for the constipation, this sh*t is getting old!  I feel like I have tried everything!  Increasing my fiber, eating apples, drinking juice, tried prune juice, stool softners, ect.  I finally broke down last night and took a laxative, it helped for today.  We will see about tomorrow.  Sorry for all the talk about poop!
    The good news is that I think everyone is over the nasty cold.  I was miserable last week being sick, tired and taking care of sick kids.  My wife did an amazing job taking care of me and the twin girls we had on temporary placement this weekend.  I have never loved her more!

    I don't think I have any questions right now.  I am enjoying everyone's answers and learning so much from this thread.  Have a good day everyone!
    T & G My wife and I married 9/10/11 in Niagara Falls, NY
    HSG 12/12/12        
    #1 ICI 12/15/12              BFN on 12/29/12
    #2 ICI  1/11/13                BFN 1/28/13                       
    #3 ICI 2/11/13                 BFN
                   
    #4 ICI August 2013,  Clomid 100mg    BFN on 8/30/13 
    #5 ICI September-Clomid 100,  mg ICI 8/15 and 8/16,  BFN on 9/3
    #6 ICI October-Clomid 150 mg for 5 days   BFN 10/27
    uterine laparoscopy on 11/14-no endo or cysts
    #7 IUI December-Clomid 150mg    BFP 12/21
    12/23 Beta 51     12/26 Beta 209!
    First ultrasound on January 8th 2014-great healthy heartbeat
    Second Ultrasound January 23 (8 weeks) we got to see and hear the heartbeat
    Third Ultrasound Feb 4th(10 weeks), then will  released to OBGYN'
    It's a GIRL!
    We welcomed Adalyn Cooper Elizabeth on 8/29/14
    She was 7lbs 11oz and 19.6 inches long

    Proud foster parents to two little girls ages 2.5 yrs old, M,  and 1 year old, K



  • Update from my grumpy self: in an effort to make me feel better (and like I accomplished something other than work today), I scheduled our birthing class! Ahhhh! We will be taking Preparation for Childbirth on Saturday April 5th from 10am-5pm. It includes a TON of info and techniques, as well as a tour of the hospital, the L&D suites, postpartum unit, etc. I am excited!

    Me - 30, My wife - 31 , Together for 10 yrs - Married August 2012

    5 medicated IUIs w/ RE (March - July 2013) = BFN

    Fresh IVF Cycle in September 2013 resulted in 18 mature eggs, 16 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5. Transfer of 2 Grade A blastocysts on 9/15/13, and 10 embryos in the freezer!      *****BFP on 9/25/13 - betas: @10dp5dt = 232; @12dp5dt = 465; @15dp5dt = 1,581   *********William George born June 4, 2014*********
  • @KH826 & @ball.and.chain - hope the weather and the funk eases up.  I wish I could transport people magically to my house (no snow here, not great weather but its ok).  I'm totally in the mood to drink tea and talk about baby stuff  but all alone alas :(

    Birthing Process - I think that it's a super individual choice, there's no wrong/right way to have your baby. Just the best way for you and your partner.  We wanted to go natural really badly, and I focused my reading, research and birth classes around that choice.  But I still found out about the other options, and I'm glad I did because it's nice to know ahead of time what the birthing process was going to be like, and how the hospital would handle things, what medical procedures would be offered, which I could turn down if I wanted, and which to request if I wanted.  I felt like the more I knew before hand the more empowered I was to relax the day of. I didn't plan a hospital birth, but since I know sometimes people transfer it was good to have that information upfront anyway.

    Rg. Pain - yes childbirth hurts.  It started hurting so badly at one point that I turned to my midwife while I was in the tub and told her to take me to the hospital.  I kept thinking that "They" could shoot me, or give me an epidural or knock me out.  There was a loop in my head that kept on repeat for a few contractions. But EV and my midwife were so great - they said just the right things and I was able to relax. I had hit Transition which is one of the hardest times (for me the hardest - pushing wasn't that bad).  From what I experienced and read many women hit a "wall" when they hit transition, and getting through to the other side is profound. After that experience I "felt" no more pain, just a feeling that I needed to get through this. I gave into my contractions and floated in the water as they rushed through my body. I kept repeating in my head to "open" ( I was thinking of my cervix) and envisioned my body dilating and the baby moving down. I breathed and tried to keep my mouth slack (since I heard a tight mouth and throat can literally lead to a tighter cervix).  The urge to push was amazing. It's like the whole of my mid-section was bunching up and pushing for me, like a tightly wound spring. I couldn't have stopped it if I tried. It felt great to give into the pushing contractions. I think K was born in less than 15 minutes of pushing.  His elbow was up over his head, which is what caused my back labor and made birthing that size of a circumference (arm and head simultaneously) more challenging (and probably why I tore - which I didn't feel in the moment).

    The things that were the most important for me, is to have people that I really trusted there. I had thought previous to labor that I'd be a jolly, talkative person, but during labor I was withdrawn and meditative, which is how I made it through contractions. I tried lots of positions and just gave into the experience. It feels like purposeful work. I don't know - I'm really curious what it will be like this time. Will I love it, or will I freak out and want to go to the hospital again?

    I didn't learn a particular method. Our birth class instructor went over several exercises that helped to teach us tools and techniques. We held pieces of ice, to give us an "uncomfortable sensation" to focus on. The last day we did one final exercise where we placed our hands in huge bowl of ice and tried to use our focusing/meditative/etc. techniques to get through the "contraction".  YOWZA ice is cold!! But it was nice to have that glimpse.

    One thing that helped to remember is that contractions have a beginning and an end - its not hours on hours of excruciating pain. I had back labor so I was definitely uncomfortable and in pain in between contractions - but still I relished the little break. 

    OMG - I could talk about this forever - but I'll leave off now ;-)




  • Hi all!
    I'm 11w5d today! Yippee! Getting excited to hit the 13w end of first tri and onto 2nd...only 4 more weeks to pass up our loss date from here. It feels like forever but we'll be on vacation for 10 days of that which will help time pass.

    We had our NT scan last week which I posted about, and it went very well. Now waiting on Harmony results which because the NT was good I'm not super stressed about. I'm more excited to find out the gender! I have a little at-home reveal planned for me and J if I can swing it, as it all depends on when they call and if she's around or not. But we loved finding out together last time, just us - no doctors or nurses or strangers. Hoping I can make it happen!

    I'm feeling nauseous less often which is great, but it still creeps up on me at unexpected times. Still a little grossed out by meat...but it'll get better I'm sure. Sleep is still dodgy but last night was great! I feel really good today which is nice - I'll take it. (Of course all of Seattle is a-glow after yesterday's Superbowl...so maybe it's just all the happy energy around me).  We are using the doppler for just a few minutes each day to catch baby doing a swim-by which has been very helpful and reassuring. We usually just catch it for a few seconds, but it's enough for me. I'm not nearly as anxious now which is good for all of us :).

    @KH826 & @ball.and.chain - Sorry you're both feeling like poo today. I hate those days! FX tomorrow is better.

    Sticking to questions I can answer:

    1.  When did or will you tell your boss? My boss knew on the day of my transfer that we were doing it, and my BFP because he was in town. We're close and he's super supportive. Other coworkers are another story. I'm waiting until after around loss date if possible (16w).

    2.  When the OB asked you if you want to do the screening for downs, did you do it? We did. Technically using a 30-yr-old egg donor, we didn't need to - but it was good to do for us. We did the full-on Mat21 type test both times; while we were in 100% agreement on keeping a Downs baby, we were also in agreement that if it was a fatal trisomy we'd likely terminate for medical reasons. And I think @ball.and.chain made good points too about having a specialist on hand at birth if something was up.

    3.  On your first pregnancy, when did you start to show?  Just curious. FIrst pregnancy I couldn't tell even at 16w when we lost him! This time, I would say 10-11w it started to be obvious to me and those close to me. And, I've gained no weight at all -  definitely everything is getting pushed UP right now..because my belly is hard, round and much higher than the actual baby. It's weird. 


    1. Favorite pregnancy/birth/baby books? I think "The Birth Partner" is a MUST for your SO. It's amazing, esp. if you are not having a doula and could have hours and hours of early labor to manage at home, alone. Second is "Pregnancy, Childbirth & The Newborn" - both by childbirth educator Penny Simkin. I think this book is so much more real/better than "what to expect" and all those. Both are on Amazon.

    2. Are you planning on using a certain approach to manage labor (like hypno-birthing or the bradley method)? 

    I plan to take Penny's childbirth ed classes, and to hire a doula. My hope is to be med-free, but I'm keeping an open mind as you never know. But, I know with a doula who has years of experience and hundreds of births under her belt, she will recognize signs of changes - like transition, etc, - an adjust the coping strategy. I trust J but don't want her to have to try to remember everything... I may look into some other classes too, but I plan to rely on the guidance of a professional that we choose together (vs.an L&D nurse who may or may not be "our people").

    My question: What pregnancy rules have you or do you plan to break??

    I admit I had a few sips of wine last pregnancy.
    And a poached egg or two this one...
    Lil'mamaz was born on Aug 21, 2014! She's PERFECT!

    It's been a long road to here...
    Me (43) and J (45) - same sex couple. And we don't feel 40+!
    June'12 - First RE Visit
    Sept. '12 - Tubes removed
    Dec. '12 - Donor Egg/Donor Sperm IVF Cycle - 4 good embies!
    Dec. '12 - Fresh transfer, BFP! EDD 8/29/13
    Mar. '13 - Missed m/c at 16w1d, baby boy stopped growing at 15w4d
    Loss due to umbilical cord clot...baby was perfect. :(
    Jul '13 - FET#1 - c/p
    Sept. '13 - FET#2 - BFN
    Dec.' 2, 2013 - FET#3 with our last chance embie - BFP!!!
    Dec' 26, 2013 - hb!!
    EDD 8/20/14 with a baby girl!
    Little S was born on 8/21/14 - 8lb, 14 oz and 20 inches long.
    We live in Seattle and used SRM for our donor egg IVF cycle


    imageimageimageimage

  • Wife is 34wk3d and feeling pretty miserable (37 week due date is Feb 21). She has no appetite and is getting very little sleep. Also, we found out last week that Baby A has flipped from vertex to breech, so she keeps kicking DW in the cervix! 

    They are estimated at 4lb11oz and 4lb6oz, but Baby B went from being the bigger one at the 61st percentile to being the smaller one at the 40th percentile. Has anybody else had this drastic of a drop from one growth scan to another? There were three weeks in between the two scans...
    Me: 31, Wife: 32 (met when we were 15)
    Married to my beautiful wife/baby mama on 07/07/07
    My brother is our KD
    5/2012: 5 cycles of at-home tries - BFN
    1/2013: 4 medicated IUIs - BFN
    6/2013: 1 IVF - BFP w/twin girls! Born 2/27/14!


  • My question: What pregnancy rules have you or do you plan to break??

    I admit I had a few sips of wine last pregnancy.
    And a poached egg or two this one...
    Ooh good one!

    I eat raw/runny eggs.  Not all the time, but yeah.  It's happened...many times.  When not pregnant, I like my beef medium rare, and my pregnancy concession to that is...medium.  I think you are supposed to eat it medium well or well done?  Can't do it. 
    Married my wife 8/2007 ~ TTC #1 since 7/2011
    9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
    IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
    ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
    FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
    Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
    FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
    EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
    *Everyone welcome*

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • KH826 said:
    @ball.and.chain - I am grumpy and in a funk today too! I have been fighting it all day, but I am just emotionally miserable for no valid reason. Maybe it is the weather... we are getting ANOTHER snow storm today 5-9 inches, coming down as we speak, and I am sitting at work wondering why I didn't just opt to work from home today. My ride home is going to be awful. At any rate, I am sorry you are feeling funky, and I am sorry I seemed excited that you were feeling this way too (HAHA) -- I have just beeing trying to shake this all day and I can't seem to. So to read your first sentence of your check-in, I was just like "thank goodness I am not the only one today!" I hope the day gets better for you... hugs!
    No worries, misery loves company!  Hugs to you too.  I'm actually feeling a lot better tonight after a) FINALLY booking a daycare visit with our top-choice daycare, b) figuring out where to take childbirth classes and c) making a pediatrician short list.  I think I was just feeling overwhelmed.  Also, I ate some cookies!  :)
    Married my wife 8/2007 ~ TTC #1 since 7/2011
    9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
    IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
    ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
    FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
    Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
    FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
    EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
    *Everyone welcome*

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Sorry I'm late everyone! Had my followup heart checkup for the twins at Children's hospital yesterday.

    I am currently 23w6d with boy/girl twins. EDD is 5/28.

    Like I said, had the follow up fetal echo and baby boy is doing A-ok, and baby girl has very mild pulmonary valve stenosis. But the doctor doesn't think it will impact my birth plans and we go back at the end of March to check it out again. Good news as far as I'm concerned!

    Other than that I'm experiencing back pain, and today is my first day wearing my "Best Cradle" support harness. These kids sure are heavy! I am doing my best to track my blood sugar for my GD, and fatigue is settling in big time. 

    The nursery is slowly getting set up, tonight my wife is going to set up one of the cribs and try to do a load of laundry so I can fold all the stuff and get it organized in the drawers. 

    QOTW: Falling asleep at my desk is normal, yeah?? ;)
    image image 
    Mom to the Lil Man and the Lil' Lady born at 33wks1day 
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