Neg tests, many signs. Think I'm losing it. (Possible BFP, not TTC at the time)

evelyns99 · February 2014

Hi, guys. I'm new here and trying to figure out whether or not I'm losing my mind. Help!

Background: I am 42. SO is 44. No kids, and as far as I know, no previous pregnancies. We were not TTC, but we'd gotten pretty lax on the BC because he'd been having issues with ED and inorgasmia. Normally my cycles are around 28 days with the occasional shorter cycle; however, prior to October, we hadn't been having much sex (for quite some time). Since then, I've been having regular orgasms several times a week, and at the same time, my cycles seem to have gotten shorter. (Since Oct: 28 days, 25 days, 24 days.) Not sure whether the sex is jumpstarting my periods, but if not, it's a mighty coincidental coincidence.

As I said, we had become complacent about BC because hey, I knew my cycles, and we couldn't have intercourse anyway because of the ED. Well, he stopped taking the med he thought might be responsible, and lo and behold, on 1/10 and again 1/14, we had intercourse. He ejaculated both times. I wasn't too worried because time-wise, I should have been fertile only through 1/5, and besides, I didn't figure his sperm were in particularly good condition, considering.

Well, here we are 15 days after I should have had my period. Nothing. AND I have tried testing multiple times including this morning, first thing in the AM. Always with Dollar Tree tests, but they are supposed to be sensitive to 20, so I would have thought that by now I'd see a line if there were something to see. Still, I have quite a few symptoms that seem to indicate pregnancy, some of which I spotted myself and some of which my husband, who is a nurse as well as well-acquainted with my bits, has noticed. I haven't tracked these symptoms by day because this was all pretty unexpected, and I know some of them are subjective, but not all of them are.

Fatigue. During the middle of the day especially I am just so tired, and I'm ready for bed by 8.

Full-feeling, tender breasts. Pretty minor, but I don't enjoy having my nipples touched right now, especially.

Hunger. I don't typically have a huge appetite, but for the past few weeks it's like I can't get enough to eat. No weight gain yet, though.

Nausea. The past few evenings, I have felt some mild nausea associated with hunger. On its own I wouldn't think much of it, but I'm not prone to nausea at all, and in concert with all the other symptoms ...

Unusual discharge. For several days, I had a weirdly thick, creamy discharge. It didn't smell like yeast, or indeed like anything, really, but it was copious and kind of like a really thick hand cream. (My SO checked me and was like "Ugh, it's not water soluble. It's hard to get off." Haha ... I have kind of a childish sense of humor.) Now the discharge seems to have lessened, but it's watery, so it's hard to tell. Normally I'm dry right after my period, then a week later, I start with a small amount of thickish discharge which works its way up to EWCM when I O, then dry again. So this is very abby-normal for me.

Vaginal changes. The walls of my vagina have become ... uh, puffy and soft. Kinda ... thick.

Cervical position. My cervix is high and soft, like around O, but the little hole/slit has pretty much closed.

Uterine cramps/bloating. For at least a week, every day off and on (mostly in the morning and evening), I have had what feel like mild uterine cramps and a feeling of fullness, like when your period is about to start. Nothing too painful, and nothing to show for it. My lower abdomen feels firm to me, and it looks a little bloated.

No period. But of course, the biggest freaking sign is that I am about 15 days overdue for my period!

So there you have it. I feel like maybe I am going crazy. I mean, maybe it's early menopause ... but that just doesn't seem right. I really FEEL pregnant. And although I was upset when I first suspected I was PG—among other things, we've been having some marital problems, and although I wanted children at one point I'd resigned myself to not having them—now, in addition to just feeling crazy because I want to know one way or the other (and wondering if I am imagining/somehow creating these signs), I have to admit that if I did get my period, I'd be disappointed.

What do you guys think? Thanks for reading and for your input.

[Deleted User] · February 2014

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on42 · February 2014

I agree with JimBobCooter. Ask the doctor for a blood test. Good luck!

PrivateOne · February 2014

Go to your doctor and get a blood test to find out! Thye can tell you definitively where we can not. As well, I'm not sure why you don't think early menopause seems right. Given your age and changing cycles, it could be a possibility.

Disclaimer: Since you are new here, please try and have a little compassion for the others on here who may read your post. Give us a warning if you think you may be experiencing a surprise BFP. There are countless women on this board who have been through very hard IF struggles while TTC. They've done countless proctocols, medications, and doctors visits all in hopes of conceiving. So, posts like this without any warning and from someone we are not familiar with can be difficult and possibly hurtful to read. I don't say this to be mean so please don't take it that way. We just have a kindred spirit on here and are always watching out for each other. We always welcome newcombers who need and can give support, so please join us if in fact you are truly TTC. If you are in fact pregnant perhaps consider joining the Pregnant after 35 board. Best of luck to you!

ksgsmu · February 2014

First ... holy TMI. We appreciate the background but didn't need ALL that very intimate info...

Second- like pp said we can't tell you if you are pregnant or not. Based on your age and your inconsistency with birth control it sounds like wacky hormones. Since you don't know when or if you ovulated there is no way to tell where you truly are in your cycle. That being said pp gave you good advice. The standard rule is to keep testing and call your doctor in 30 days if you haven't gotten a period.

PrivateOne pretty much summed it up but please be considerate of others and post a "possible" bfp in your subject line. This board is for ladies who are TTC and many of us have had recent losses or struggling with fertility issues. Drive-bys ( meaning we don't know you and your first post is a possible pregnancy) are not well accepted. If you decide to stick around then please intro if you get your positive pregnancy test then I am sure you will be very welcome over on pg over 35 board.

I wish you luck

evelyns99 · February 2014

Thanks, guys! I'm sorry for any offense/hurt caused, for sure. I edited the subject line of my post; please let me know if that works or if I should change it to something else. Sorry for the TMI, too. I have little modesty.

As far as TTC, I am conflicted. For many, many years I would have welcomed a BFP, but it just ... never worked out. Then, when I finally just accepted that circumstances weren't ever going to be favorable (long story)—which was difficult as for years I'd envisioned myself as a mother—this happens, and frankly, it has me questioning where I thought I was. If that makes sense. So, TTC? Maybe.

I'm going to make an appointment with a gyn. Pregnant but not enough hcg to be viable, false pregnancy, ectopic pregnancy, early menopause, ovarian cancer: those seem like the most likely options to me, which isn't particularly reassuring.

Eastie156 · February 2014

I don't know if this is helpful, but this happened to me back in Sept. I was 10 days late, had all the symptoms, took multiple tests, all with a negative. In my case I had a very long cycle that month. GL!

evelyns99 · February 2014

Thanks! Maybe that's it. Maybe it's just a very long cycle. It is true that for several months now, I've been under a pretty astronomical stress load. I handle stress fairly well, but I'm only human.

At this point, truly I would be sad not to be expecting. But at least if the doctor could rule out all the really bad stuff, that would be a little reassuring.

evelyns99 · February 2014

Oh, I should clarify: when I say we were inconsistent with BC, we have used only prophylactic methods for quite some time, not hormonal (i.e., no pill, depo, etc.). So that won't have affected my cycle.

gscoville · February 2014

Our cycles can change for no reason, even more so as we get older - none of us are spring chickens, cycle irregularity is just something to get used to as we age. Negative test means not pregnant at this time. If that huge list of symptoms were truly pregnancy-related, that means you'd also have more than enough HCG in your system to turn a test positive. Tests are sensitive to extremely low levels of HCG, and true pregnancy symptoms are caused by higher levels than the lowest that tests detect. I'd guess you've ovulated much later than normal and are simply reading into everything your body does because you're so late, which is probably a lot of what it normally does but you never really noticed before because you weren't looking for a reason for things. No need to run to a doctor for a blood test right away, standard advice is to test weekly until you go 60 days without a period or a positive test, then consult your doctor.

[Deleted User] · February 2014

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Davie813 · February 2014

Welcome, if you end up sticking around, and best of luck either way!

NewMrs07 · February 2014

Blood test from your doctor

evelyns99 · February 2014

Thanks, all. I made an appointment for the 24th, as I need a checkup anyway. And just in case the tests I bought (all from the same place, same lot) were somehow defective (like, say, they got frozen or something), I bought a pack of FRERs. If I still haven't started AF by Friday, I'm going to test again with one of those. I know the likelihood is very slim, but something hormonal is going on, and it's really, really odd. I know my body and my cycle, and ... if I'm not PG, something just isn't right.

evelyns99 · February 2014

JimBobCooter said:

evelyns99 said:

As far as TTC, I am conflicted. For many, many years I would have welcomed a BFP, but it just ... never worked out. Then, when I finally just accepted that circumstances weren't ever going to be favorable (long story)—which was difficult as for years I'd envisioned myself as a mother—this happens, and frankly, it has me questioning where I thought I was. If that makes sense. So, TTC? Maybe.

This was us, as well. We weren't preventing but were pretty complacent sharing my DS from my first marriage and didn't intent to actively try. Then at 42 I got a surprise BFP and our entire perspective changed drastically. That ended in MC but, as soon as we got through our wedding, four months later, we realized we really did want to TTC.

Yes. We've talked about it, and however this ends up, it has changed things for both of us. We agree that however things were before, now we will be TTC, assuming we haven't already.

Life. It's a funny ol' thing. At my age ... who woulda thunk it?

Reilly626 · February 2014

My first sign of pregnancy was heartburn which I never really had before.

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Neg tests, many signs. Think I'm losing it. (Possible BFP, not TTC at the time)

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