If This is Your 2nd...

desertmouse39 · February 2014

How has your family (mostly parents and in-laws) responded to this pregnancy? For me, it is seriously like they have no interest in the next grandchild, arriving in about 7 weeks! I know the first one is always a little different for everyone (and our DD#1 was the first grandbaby on both sides) but no one ever asks about how this tater tot is doing, no one has asked if they can buy anything for her, no one mentions any excitement about seeing the new baby when they come for her arrival, only how much time they want to spend with our first child, and everything they are going to buy for her, etc... I feel like DD#2 is going to be ignored or at the very least, be born into her sister's shadow.

I'm not looking for handouts, I have just been surprised in the complete lack of interest in this pregnancy, the baby's development, or any expression of excitement about her arrival from the people who basically treated the first baby's arrival like a messianic event. Is this just how it goes?

jodyen · February 2014

Huh?! For me that's strange, I am worried that this baby will overshadow my oldest. My DH family is very excited about this pregnancy cause this is his first born but he is still dad to my oldest. My side of the family don't really care. (Long story, some of my family sucks). I've been so worried about my soon to be 13 year not getting attention and this little getting it all. But I let DH know this and asked for him to talk with his brothers and parents and everything turn out ok. I guess it also helps a little her bday is in a couple of days also but still. Let your families know and ask why if you can.

C12H22O11 · February 2014

I'm getting the same thing from my fam. It's not like I expect them to go nuts, but I remember them being soooooo excited for DS, buying all kinds of stuff, wanting to take pics of me every week, etc. This time, my mother has bought one thing for DD and I actually had to ask her to take a pic. I would imagine it would have been even "worse" if number 2 was the same gender.

erind0213 · February 2014

MIL has not had any interest but that was no different from the first.....which washer first grandchild.

Once D D turned 1 shs wanted to step up.

megs68 · February 2014

For sure. Wait until the third. This poor child has been totally overlooked, even by me and DH. I'm 32 weeks and this child has no nursery, no diapers, no name, nothing! My first and second were different sexes so there was some nice attention from that, but yeah, generally the arrival of the second is much less heralded. I know I'm also guilty of this when others have kids too. It's like the first is the one that changes the entire ball game and the second just sort of is an add-on.

momofmanyinthemitten · February 2014

Wait until you're pregnant with #3. MIL can't even remember my due date, and it's the same as her other son's wife(#2 for him).

Jbruce7612 · February 2014

Ohh yeah. My SIL just had a girl 2 weeks ago and im due with a girl in 10 weeks. Our MIL went all out for my SIL and bought baby things before she had a baby shower and hasnt bought my baby girl nothing. She gave my SIL a shower and isnt giving me one. Haaa. I see how it is ;P

mcgeeva · February 2014

I get the lack of interest in the sense that this is my second time around and people don't ask. It's fine because I don't always talk about it. I could care less about the gifts. People put way too much empahsis on material items. I feel like if people were like myself who have no family around to help and even my inlaws who are 4 hours away have never and will never help with DS (Their only grandson) then they would appreciate much much more over material things. The very few times my parents come see ds is amazing to me. That is help and that is all I care about. I'm not worried about people wanting to buy this next baby boy a tshit - im worried about having my daycare on call when I go into labor since DH travels every week.

Smores730 · February 2014

Our families certainly aren't as involved and excited as the 1st go round, but they still ask me all the time how I'm feeling, how many weeks left, are the kids excited etc. I find it strange they aren't asking any of those normal conversation starter questions. Do they support your decision in having a 2nd?

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