How many originally?

PhantomPower · February 2014

How many kids did you think you wanted before having your LO? Were you always OAD or did you change your mind?

I used to joke that I wanted either 1 kid or 4 kids. Despite having a pretty rough pregnancy, I was completely convinced while I was pregnant that I eventually wanted at least 2. My H & I originally decided to start TTC again last month. That obviously isn't happening.

Maybe some people know from the start and don't change their mind but I eye-roll at my old self for thinking I knew how many kids I wanted before I had any.

KatieB19 · February 2014

DH and I always said we wanted 2. This might seem dark, but we had just met when the tsunami of 2004 hit, and hearing stories of parents not having enough hands to hold onto their kids really affected dh. I never had a set number in mind, but his reasoning made sense to me, so 2 it was.

Then it turned out I really hated being pregnant. It wasn't even bad, I just didn't like it. So I started doing a lot of reading on only children and I was sold. It didn't really take much to convince dh, and then I think after the newborn stage he was completely oad (if he wasn't already). I was surprised to find myself on the fence when ds was 2, but I'm back off. DH has said that if I really, truly, want another, he would get on board, but he has never wavered since having ds.

TiffanyBerry · February 2014

2. He was the one who originally wanted 2, and I wanted, at most, OAD. Now he wants to be OAD, and I'd prefer 2. /throwshandsintheair

myatala · February 2014

Husband wanted 1, I wanted 2 or 3. Up until recently we were starting to plan for another baby but after thinking very hard about the health aspects and financial impact and high possibility of babysitting an infant next year while my friend goes back to work... this isn't the time and I now don't think there will be a time for another baby. I was high risk due to high blood pressure with Owen. I've had a seriously difficult time with my bipolar disorder and anxiety since Owen was born and medication adjustments for pregnancy might leave me vulnerable to more rough times -- and going by our track record (3yrs, 1 loss) it could take a long time for us to achieve another successful pregnancy. So a lot of reasons to be OAD. We aren't doing permanent birth control until we've had more time to feel 100% confident in our decision.

amie444 · February 2014

My husband and I were not preventing or trying. I was off of BC for 6 years and nothing. I hit 40 so after a MMC we decided that it wasn't going to happen so we were going to be kid free. Well fast forward 2 years. I found out I was pregnant agsin and I delivered at 42 so we are OAD. And very happy.

Chapter79 · February 2014

Before I was pregnant with DD, I had always wanted 3. He wanted 2. As IF. To both.
It was very very soon into my pregnancy that we both decided on OAD. Like around 7 or so weeks.

kimber926 · February 2014

We had wanted 3. Year of infertility and losses pushed me to 37 when DD was born. I refuse to go through it again.

this decaf life · February 2014

I wanted 2, with the option of a third. DH never wanted more than 2.

During pregnancy DH said he would be happy OAD. I'm still a bit on the fence but if we decide to have one more we'll do something permanent after because 2 is plenty. I feel a little more sure with OAD with each passing day though so I think I'm getting closer to committing.

kristennd · February 2014

I wanted 0-2. DH wanted 2-3. We originally compromised on 2.

I changed my mind to OAD when LO was about 6 months (many many reasons). It took another year for DH to agree.

hopefulmom81 · February 2014

We were always between 1 or 2, both DH and I were more heavily leaning towards 1.

JackoftheBox · February 2014

DH wanted 4, I said max of 2. We are still on the fence, but he is BSC if he thinks 4 is happening!!

Tink112011 · February 2014

We always said 2. We figured if were going to have one, then what difference does another one make? Hahaha at my pre-child self.

DH become OAD very soon after DS was born. The newborn stage took us both by surprise, but he did not cope as well as I did. Because of his hard adjustment and how hard it was on our marriage, I came around to OAD when DS was about 6 months old.

tifdaski84 · February 2014

We wanted 2. Like PP, when I was younger, I wanted tonnes of kids. I always had it my mind that I wanted 9 boys and 1 girl. Ahh, the ignorance was blissful back then.

tazmm18 · February 2014

We always said 2 but now that we have DS I say 1. I am a fence sitter and DH said he could go either way so we shall see.

DiveFrog · February 2014

We both always wanted 2, and I wanted to reserve the right to discuss a 3rd depending on spacing and temperaments of the first 2.

Then DD arrived. I have a lot of experience with babies, so does my DH honestly, and both sets of grandparents, and my SIL and BIL....and yeah EVERYONE agreed that DD was seriously high needs and more exhausting then most babies. We didn't start to recover from the "newborn" stage until 16months.

New plan- fence sit for awhile between OAD and 2. Wait and see if DD mellows a bit with age, and if we are crazy enough to do it all again.

eyenigh · February 2014

0 with the idea that if we ever did decide to have any, it would only be one.

Shabutie · February 2014

We originally agreed on two. After Josie was born eight weeks early, and I suffered through bad PPD, I am set on OAD. Husband still wants two..
I do miss being pregnant and I hate that I had my pregnancy cut so short suddenly, but there is just no way I can deal with a newborn again.. Why does everyone love newborns so much? They're boring and draining at the same time. Bah humbug.....

[Deleted User] · February 2014

I wanted 1-2, DH wanted 2, so we agreed on 2. I am leaning towards OAD, DH isn't sure but in no rush to have another now.

Actually I just remembered, in HS I wanted no kids (it was more of a philosophical position than an emotional one). Then shortly after I started dating DH I realized I might want to have kids with him. Weird how being in love can totally change your perspective.

PB102012 · February 2014

I had always said I wanted two......

Pearls+Oysters · February 2014

Lurker here.

I grew up wanting 2 boys and 1 girl. I then decided I liked even numbers and wanted a 4th - a girl.

Between the difficult pregnancy, scary birth and awful newborn stage complete with PPD, I'm sitting on a hard fence leaning towards OAD. Who am I kidding, I don't have the patience for more than one, and I'd rather my DS be an only than an orphan.

His father was into 2 or 4 kids and now is very much OAD.

harmonicbabe26 · February 2014

When I was really young I thought 2. Then when I became an adult I always said 1 or 2. And after having K I realize that I think I'm only cut out to having just one. Can't handle any more and remain semi-sane... Funny thing - my DH always insisted on just 1 but after we had K he suddenly wants 2. Yeah prob not gonna happen.

aguy2011 · February 2014

I thought 1 or 2 originally; hubby 2. Then I had preeclsmpsia which led to placental abruption that almost killed us both due to massive bleeding. My baby girl was born at 28 weeks and stays in the nicu. She is now 4 weeks old and progressing. I love her and wouldn't change a thing. However, I cannot go through that again. Because I had this before 30 weeks, 50% or greater, the stakes are too high to get it again. If I died next time, my daughter would not have a mother. Also, recurring preeclampsia can cause long term health problems.

scrappingcat · February 2014

When I was young and single I imagined having 3. DH wanted 1-2. We compromised on 2 then had DS. Now we agree that OAD is right for us!

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