How did you decide to go on from having just one child to having more?
I am having such a tough time with the decision to try to have another baby or not. I feel like I wanted a baby (now my daughter) SO BADLY, it consumed me and my life... and now, I just don't feel this all consuming passion to have a second child. I feel like if it happened that would be awesome, but if it didn't that would be okay too... Which would be great IF I was able to get pregnant naturally and could just let fate or whatever decide, but I can't or I wouldn't be here (we used DEIVF to conceive our daughter).
I could really use some thoughts on this.... Any opinions positive or negative would be really appreciated.
I got the baby fever real bad. I just knew that I had to have another. If I get that feeling again after #2, we will go the foster/adoption route. GL with your decision. Only you can know when your family feels complete.
TTC with PCOS since November 2009
IUI#1 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP, m/c IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP! beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75 beta #2 11/28 = 2055 Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012! Surprise, our 2nd daughter P was born 5/22/14!
Our decision was pretty much made for us, since I was a few months past 39 when we had DD. I asked my RE when to try for #2, given this situation, and she told me ASAP.
DD was born in June, and by November, I was cycling. I especially wanted to try again soon, because I didn't think we'd be lucky enough to conceive on the first try (IVF) again, to the point that I didn't even tell our friends we were cycling (we were open the first time and they knew we'd be cycling within a year of DD's birth). We were fortunate to get pregnant again that time though, and are 2U2.
It's been a little hectic, as expected, but as we approach the 6 month mark, I feel like things are starting to get easier. I think once they're both walking and can really play together, I'll be even happier.
Ugh, I'm kind of in the questioning #2 or more stage. I'm so incredibly happy finally having a child. I'm so scared to mess that happy up with seeking treatment.
One issue that does warrant a decision in the near future is that I turned 35 a month and a half ago. We have no frosties. We are unexplained, and my cycle has been different since J was born (no mid-cycle bleeding, ovulation pain, loads of CM), so there is a chance that we could get pregnant on our own.
I guess for me, I really enjoyed having siblings. I especially like having them as an adult. I want J to have that, but I also know that shouldn't be the only reason we go for more children.
I'm willing to go one more round with IVF. However, I don't think I can do it until this time next year. I need a break, I haven't slept in a year and a half. I also want to see if we can get a miracle BFP.
Good luck!
TTC Since 3/2010 Me-36, Unexplained Infertility, DH-35, all clear Clomid 50mg 12/2011 = BFN Clomid 100mg 1/2012 = BFN, with Cyst IVF #1 Lupron/Menopur/Gonal-f/HCG Trigger ER 4/19/12 = 11 retrieved, 6 fertilized, ET 4/22/12 = 2 transfered (day 3), remaining 3 weren't good enough to freeze Beta 5/3 = BFP, 87 Beta #2 5/7 560.9 Beta #3 5/9 1376.5 First u/s One Baby, 125bpm! Second u/s, 176bmp! Kicked over to the OB by the RE at 8w. Team Green!!
Baby girl J arrived two weeks early! Born into water, med-free. Hooray for Team Pink!
TTC #2 - back to the RE, treatment started 12/2014.
We have been discussing this lately. We know we want more than one, always have. I'm starting to get baby fever again so we're trying on our own for now (highly unlikely to produce anything considering DH's MFI and me not ovulating); we will seek treatments again towards the end of this year.
We have always pictured our family with more than one child and although IF has been rough, it hasn't changed that picture for us. I think it's a matter of what you're comfortable with doing to conceive if you have to do treatments again. I also ask myself, if IF weren't a factor, would the thought of more than one be harder to grasp?
TTC #1 since 3/2011
DX: anovulatory and severe MFI
DH is a testicular cancer survivor
IVF#1 w/ICSI lupron, gonal f, ovidrel
ER 6/15/12 6R 6M 6F! ET 6/20/12
Beta #1: 154 Beta #2: 509 Beta #3: 7326
Baby Boy born 3/1/2013
TTC#2: 6/2014 all testing came back normal
IVF#2 (#1 for LO#2) 9/2014 - 17R 10M 10F 4 blasts frozen on day 6.
I've always known that I would like more than one, I did feel amazingly blessed once we had # 1, but once he turned 1 I knew that I was ready to think about having another. I currently think I will want to go for 3, but I also think we'll have to wait and see how life is with two.
TTC since August 2009 Clomid for 6 cycles starting August 2010- O but no BFP SA Septemeber 2010 Looking good HSG September 2010 All clear 1st RE visit May 2011 - IUI#1 June 20, 2011: BFN IUI #2 July 31 2011: BFP - m/c @ 5w1d Surprise BFP on a break cycle 10/4/11, Due June 4, 2012, Born 6/9/2012 TTC Blog TTC#2 : Cycles 1-3 Protocol 1500mg Metformin Daily, Femara + Ovidrel, Progresterone support
We had a lot of discussions and settled on trying one IVF cycle. We wanted to give a second child a shot, but had our most recent IVF failed, we had agreed to move on as a one child family. We wanted a second child, but needed boundaries to know that our financial and emotional lives weren't going to get sucked too far into the IF black hole. Good luck!
DX: Severe MFI IVF # 1 ~ Antagonist ~ ER 1/27/11~ ET 1/30/11 ~ + HPT 7dp3dt DD born med-free on 10/24/11
IVF # 2 ~Antagonist ~ ER 6/5/13 ~ ET 6/10/13 ~ + HPT 4dp5dt
I would love a second or even a third but to get my LO, it took 4 IVF cycles and a FET. Like you, it was all consuming and ruled every minute of my life. The thought of doing that again is hard but then I think of JJ and I know it was all worth it. Clearly I'm torn. JJ is almost 6 months and since I had a c section I can't get pg before a year so I have 6 months to think about it.
TTC 1/2010
DH Dx - Azoospermia 2/2011
Hysteroscopy 3/2011
2 Polyps removed 4/2011
DH on Clomid / Arimidex to address hormonal issues - Sperm found July 2011!
IVF #1 September 2011 - ER 9/8/2011- 8R, 5M - icsi - 1 made it to transfer - BFFN :-(
IVF #2 Lucky November 2011 - ER 11/25/2011 - 15 eggs!, 13 mature, 10 fertilized with isci - 7 made it to transfer! Transferred 1 - 8 cell and 2 - 7 cell. BFP!!!! 1st U/S - Twins! 2nd U/S - 3 heartbeats!!! - HOLY COW!!! Prayers for our take home babies!
2 babies born on 3/27/12 and lost. Last baby born on 3/29/12 and lost at 20 weeks.
My angels grew wings shortly after birth.
Ahava Raisel, Matisyahu Nissim & Zev Chaim - Mommy and Daddy will always love you.
IVF #3 July 2012 - ER 7/17/2012 - 10 R. 5 F. 4 made it to ET
Transferred 2 on 7/20/2012 no snow babies :-(
Beta on 7/31/2012 = BFMFN
A miracle gift expected to come to us through adoption around 9/2012
Baby girl adopted - Birth Mother changed her mind and took the baby back
IVF #4 October 2012 - New RE. Doing PGD Testing. 8 R, 7F, 2 made it to 5 day blast for PDG testing. Both Normal (Thank you G-d!!!) 1 boy and 1 girl
transferred one beautiful 5day blast (girl)
Please G-d the almighty one - let this be our take home baby!
Beta #1 158, Beta #2 318, 1 Absolutely magnificent HB at 175! Thank you G-d!!! Baby Girl born August 5th. Thank you G-d for our precious miracle.
AMA. PAIF & SAIF always welcome - I need all the prayers I can get!
Three weeks after LO was born I was ready for another, I felt such victory when she was born that I had battled if and won that I knew I could do it again. I proved all the nay Sayers wrong and therefore couldn't wait to do it again! However I was in pain from my leg and after LO left the nicu we struggled with her reflux that I thought we would need to wait until she was stable. However after we got that under control I was all in for another LO.
However I need to lose the weight I gained with LO and get myself in tip top shape again and that is a battle. And from this weeks wondfo debacle and my reaction I don't think I am yet there emotionally, I need to slay dragons when I go to get pg and get pg. When the one year mark comes for LO bday I know I will be ready!
I think when you feel what you felt when LO was born when you think of having another you are ready.
Natural cycle Dec 2010 BFP M/C 6 1/2 Weeks, D&E Jan 2011 1 Clomid/Ovidrel BFN May 2011 Natural cycle Aug 2011 BFP M/C 4 Weeks 1 IUI Sept 2011 BFP M/c 7 weeks Provera Dec 2011 BFP M/C 3 Weeks
DQ ALPHA HLA MATCH, High NK Cells Diagnosed Dec 2011 IVF March 2012 BFP m/c 4weeks 5 days (IL, Prednisone) IVF#2w/DS July 2012 MEGA FAILURE BFN (IL, Dexamethasone) Diagnosed No real HLA Match, DQ Beta Triad, High TNF, Low NK Cells Oct 2012 Natural Cycle m/c 4wks (Lovenox, Prednisone) Went to Beer Center- high tnf, low lad, implantation failure
Nov/Dec 2012 LIT Treatment
Dec 12 Humira Jan 2013 BFP Humira,LIT,Prednisone, Lovenox, IVIG, Baby Aspirin Miracle Born August 2013 Premature
When DD was born I did not feel my family was complete. I conceived twins but lost one at 9 weeks gestation. I also gave birth prematurely and had a c/s and feel that next time I want to be able to do it right. That certainly is not my primary motivation for having a second child, just extra incentive.
I underwent an unsuccessful FET in December and an planning to transfer my two remaining frosties in February. If that cycle is not successful I will probably take a little time off to gear myself physically and emotionally for a fresh cycle. There is practically zero chance of natural conception due to severe MFI. Since I am going to be 37 in the summer, AMA is also becoming a factor although my RE tells me I have many fertile years left.
Only you and your DH can decide when your family is complete or when enough treatment is enough. Best wishes with your decision.
TTC since 3-08
IVF # 1 Dec 2011 BFP
DD born at 31 weeks 6-24-12
We will be doing an FET for #2 sometime this spring. I am going to my RE later this week to discuss timing and other specifics. I had DD this past June. I am older, over 40, which is why we are doing this so soon. If I was younger, I'd probably wait a couple of years. We have 4 frosties, so 2 chances at FET. If this doesn't work, we will not seek further treatments.
DOR and AMA
2/12-5/12: 4 IUI cycles = all BFN;
7/12: DE IVF # 1 (with ICSI)- 20R, 16M, 14F, 5DT of 2 blasts; 6 frosties = BFN;
Lupus anticoagulant initially high, then found to be normal on hematology consult;
Follow up testing in September all clear;
Started synthroid for "high normal" TSH;
FET # 1- late October 2012- BFP on FRER; beta # 1- 21(low), beta # 2- 48 (still low), beta # 3- 132, beta # 4- 1,293; beta # 5- 5,606; last beta- over 100,000. First u/s 11/21- heard heartbeat
12/12- Officially an OB patient!
Level 2 ultrasound at 20 weeks shows vasa previa and VCI
Referral to MFM and mandatory c section for delivery
Beautiful baby girl born at 34 weeks
Finally home after 15 day NICU stay!
Trying for sibling: FET # 2- May 2014; beta 5/31, BFN
FET #3, early July 2014; beta 7/14, BFN
DE IVF # 2- August 2014; 14R, 13M, 11F, 5dt of 2 blasts (3 AA), 5 frosties = BFN
FET #4- December 2014, yet another BFN
Dr. KK work up shows borderline uterine blood flow, elevated NK cells, and MTHFR mutation (homozygous for c677t)
Added baby aspirin, prednisone, supplements, Metanx, and intralipids
Switched to large clinic for final attempt; had endometrial receptivity testing in January; FET March 2015 = yet another BFN
I think it's normal not to CRAVE a second baby the way you did a first baby. When TTC DS, I was obsessed, and I was totally distraught about the thought of never having a child. When we decided to TFAS, it wasn't all-consuming. In fact, when our first IUI cycle was canceled in Dec, we decided not to pursue treatment for awhile. Whereas when TTC #1, I definitely wouldn't have voluntarily decided to take a break.
For us, we've always known we wanted 2 or 3, so it wasn't really a question of "if" but "when."
GL with your upcoming decisions.
DH and I are Americans living an adventure in Kenya since 2011
DX: PCOS (annovulatory)
Feb 2012:IUI #1 w/ only 1M sperm and a single follie = BFP!
Thank you so much for your thoughts on this. Hearing what other people have to say really helps make a decision. @mnj05 THANK YOU. Your question... "if IF weren't a factor, would the thought of more than one be harder to grasp?" made a serious impact on my way of thinking. Mostly because my answer is no. We would go on to have more. Absolutely because it would be easy. This is the perfect question. I go back and forth every minute it seems about TTC#2 or not, but my husband has always wanted 2. Just last night I said, "well, if we're going to try for 2 we might as well have 3 or 4!" Not really, but your question is just completely right. It shouldn't matter, the IVF, etc. shouldn't be a factor. It wasn't before when we were willing to do anything to get our DD, so why should it be this time.
That is how I have to think to press forward sometimes. We've got so many things stacked against us to conceive without treatments and at this point, the only thing I'm willing to budge on is time. I wanted my kids 2 years apart, but that may not happen. I am determined to let time be the only thing IF dictates.
I'm glad my question helped you feel better about what you want to do. It's almost daunting to even think about getting pregnant again with this ugly IF monster in our faces.
TTC #1 since 3/2011
DX: anovulatory and severe MFI
DH is a testicular cancer survivor
IVF#1 w/ICSI lupron, gonal f, ovidrel
ER 6/15/12 6R 6M 6F! ET 6/20/12
Beta #1: 154 Beta #2: 509 Beta #3: 7326
Baby Boy born 3/1/2013
TTC#2: 6/2014 all testing came back normal
IVF#2 (#1 for LO#2) 9/2014 - 17R 10M 10F 4 blasts frozen on day 6.
@mjn05 Everything about TTC#2 is scary. We are deciding if we want to try again or not. The outcome if it works out great is wonderful, but it's a lot to go through.
Re: TTC #2 Opinions please!
GL with your decision. Only you can know when your family feels complete.
IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
beta #2 11/28 = 2055
Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!
Surprise, our 2nd daughter P was born 5/22/14!
IVF #1: 9/11: ER: 12R, 11M, 10F, No Frosties; 5dt: 2 blasts, 1 morula; DD born 6/3/12
IVF #2: 11/12-12/12: ER: 20R, 20M, 16F, 4 Frosties; 5dt: 3 blasts, DS born 8/9/13
Me-36, Unexplained Infertility, DH-35, all clear
Clomid 50mg 12/2011 = BFN
Clomid 100mg 1/2012 = BFN, with Cyst
IVF #1 Lupron/Menopur/Gonal-f/HCG Trigger
ER 4/19/12 = 11 retrieved, 6 fertilized,
ET 4/22/12 = 2 transfered (day 3), remaining 3 weren't good enough to freeze
Beta 5/3 = BFP, 87 Beta #2 5/7 560.9 Beta #3 5/9 1376.5 First u/s One Baby, 125bpm!
Second u/s, 176bmp! Kicked over to the OB by the RE at 8w. Team Green!!
We have always pictured our family with more than one child and although IF has been rough, it hasn't changed that picture for us. I think it's a matter of what you're comfortable with doing to conceive if you have to do treatments again. I also ask myself, if IF weren't a factor, would the thought of more than one be harder to grasp?
TTC #1 since 3/2011
DX: anovulatory and severe MFI
DH is a testicular cancer survivor
IVF#1 w/ICSI lupron, gonal f, ovidrel
ER 6/15/12 6R 6M 6F! ET 6/20/12
Beta #1: 154 Beta #2: 509 Beta #3: 7326
Baby Boy born 3/1/2013
TTC#2: 6/2014 all testing came back normal
IVF#2 (#1 for LO#2) 9/2014 - 17R 10M 10F 4 blasts frozen on day 6.
FET #1 10/15/14 - Beta #1: 216 Beta #2: 823
Baby Boy born 7/10/2015
Clomid for 6 cycles starting August 2010- O but no BFP
SA Septemeber 2010 Looking good
HSG September 2010 All clear
1st RE visit May 2011 - IUI#1 June 20, 2011: BFN
IUI #2 July 31 2011: BFP - m/c @ 5w1d
Surprise BFP on a break cycle 10/4/11, Due June 4, 2012, Born 6/9/2012
TTC Blog
TTC#2 : Cycles 1-3 Protocol 1500mg Metformin Daily, Femara + Ovidrel, Progresterone support
IVF # 1 ~ Antagonist ~ ER 1/27/11~ ET 1/30/11 ~ + HPT 7dp3dt
DD born med-free on 10/24/11
Hysteroscopy 3/2011 2 Polyps removed 4/2011
DH on Clomid / Arimidex to address hormonal issues - Sperm found July 2011!
IVF #1 September 2011 - ER 9/8/2011- 8R, 5M - icsi - 1 made it to transfer - BFFN :-(
IVF #2 Lucky November 2011 - ER 11/25/2011 - 15 eggs!, 13 mature, 10 fertilized with isci - 7 made it to transfer! Transferred 1 - 8 cell and 2 - 7 cell. BFP!!!!
1st U/S - Twins! 2nd U/S - 3 heartbeats!!! - HOLY COW!!!
Prayers for our take home babies!
2 babies born on 3/27/12 and lost. Last baby born on 3/29/12 and lost at 20 weeks.
My angels grew wings shortly after birth.
Ahava Raisel, Matisyahu Nissim & Zev Chaim - Mommy and Daddy will always love you.
IVF #3 July 2012 - ER 7/17/2012 - 10 R. 5 F. 4 made it to ET
Transferred 2 on 7/20/2012 no snow babies :-(
Beta on 7/31/2012 = BFMFN
A miracle gift expected to come to us through adoption around 9/2012
Baby girl adopted - Birth Mother changed her mind and took the baby back
IVF #4 October 2012 - New RE. Doing PGD Testing. 8 R, 7F, 2 made it to 5 day blast for PDG testing. Both Normal (Thank you G-d!!!) 1 boy and 1 girl
transferred one beautiful 5day blast (girl)
Please G-d the almighty one - let this be our take home baby!
Beta #1 158, Beta #2 318, 1 Absolutely magnificent HB at 175! Thank you G-d!!!
Baby Girl born August 5th. Thank you G-d for our precious miracle.
AMA. PAIF & SAIF always welcome - I need all the prayers I can get!
However I was in pain from my leg and after LO left the nicu we struggled with her reflux that I thought we would need to wait until she was stable. However after we got that under control I was all in for another LO.
However I need to lose the weight I gained with LO and get myself in tip top shape again and that is a battle. And from this weeks wondfo debacle and my reaction I don't think I am yet there emotionally, I need to slay dragons when I go to get pg and get pg. When the one year mark comes for LO bday I know I will be ready!
I think when you feel what you felt when LO was born when you think of having another you are ready.
Anovulatory cycles, increased Synthroid Diagnosed Sep 2010
1 Clomid/Ovidrel BFN May 2011
Natural cycle Aug 2011 BFP M/C 4 Weeks
1 IUI Sept 2011 BFP M/c 7 weeks
Provera Dec 2011 BFP M/C 3 Weeks
IVF March 2012 BFP m/c 4weeks 5 days (IL, Prednisone)
IVF#2w/DS July 2012 MEGA FAILURE BFN (IL, Dexamethasone)
Diagnosed No real HLA Match, DQ Beta Triad, High TNF, Low NK Cells
Oct 2012 Natural Cycle m/c 4wks (Lovenox, Prednisone)
Went to Beer Center- high tnf, low lad, implantation failure
Jan 2013 BFP
Humira,LIT,Prednisone, Lovenox, IVIG, Baby Aspirin
Miracle Born August 2013 Premature
Yours doesn't have to be a sad story
I underwent an unsuccessful FET in December and an planning to transfer my two remaining frosties in February. If that cycle is not successful I will probably take a little time off to gear myself physically and emotionally for a fresh cycle. There is practically zero chance of natural conception due to severe MFI. Since I am going to be 37 in the summer, AMA is also becoming a factor although my RE tells me I have many fertile years left.
Only you and your DH can decide when your family is complete or when enough treatment is enough. Best wishes with your decision.
FET #1 Dec 2013 BFN
FET # 2 Feb 2014 BFN
No more frosties
IVF #2. September 2014
PGD yielded 2 perfect 5d blasts
SET November 9, 2014
Nov 23, 2014. Another BFN
Not sure where to go from here.
DOR and AMA
2/12-5/12: 4 IUI cycles = all BFN;
7/12: DE IVF # 1 (with ICSI)- 20R, 16M, 14F, 5DT of 2 blasts; 6 frosties = BFN;
Lupus anticoagulant initially high, then found to be normal on hematology consult;
Follow up testing in September all clear;
Started synthroid for "high normal" TSH;
FET # 1- late October 2012- BFP on FRER; beta # 1- 21(low), beta # 2- 48 (still low), beta # 3- 132, beta # 4- 1,293; beta # 5- 5,606; last beta- over 100,000. First u/s 11/21- heard heartbeat
12/12- Officially an OB patient!
Level 2 ultrasound at 20 weeks shows vasa previa and VCI
Referral to MFM and mandatory c section for delivery
Beautiful baby girl born at 34 weeks
Finally home after 15 day NICU stay!
Trying for sibling: FET # 2- May 2014; beta 5/31, BFN
FET #3, early July 2014; beta 7/14, BFN
DE IVF # 2- August 2014; 14R, 13M, 11F, 5dt of 2 blasts (3 AA), 5 frosties = BFN
FET #4- December 2014, yet another BFN
Dr. KK work up shows borderline uterine blood flow, elevated NK cells, and MTHFR mutation (homozygous for c677t)
Added baby aspirin, prednisone, supplements, Metanx, and intralipids
Switched to large clinic for final attempt; had endometrial receptivity testing in January; FET March 2015 = yet another BFN
Likely OAD- NBC
@mnj05 THANK YOU. Your question... "if IF weren't a factor, would the thought of more than one be harder to grasp?" made a serious impact on my way of thinking. Mostly because my answer is no. We would go on to have more. Absolutely because it would be easy. This is the perfect question. I go back and forth every minute it seems about TTC#2 or not, but my husband has always wanted 2. Just last night I said, "well, if we're going to try for 2 we might as well have 3 or 4!" Not really, but your question is just completely right. It shouldn't matter, the IVF, etc. shouldn't be a factor. It wasn't before when we were willing to do anything to get our DD, so why should it be this time.
Me: 33 (Mosaic Turner's Syndrome/POF)
I'm glad my question helped you feel better about what you want to do. It's almost daunting to even think about getting pregnant again with this ugly IF monster in our faces.
TTC #1 since 3/2011
DX: anovulatory and severe MFI
DH is a testicular cancer survivor
IVF#1 w/ICSI lupron, gonal f, ovidrel
ER 6/15/12 6R 6M 6F! ET 6/20/12
Beta #1: 154 Beta #2: 509 Beta #3: 7326
Baby Boy born 3/1/2013
TTC#2: 6/2014 all testing came back normal
IVF#2 (#1 for LO#2) 9/2014 - 17R 10M 10F 4 blasts frozen on day 6.
FET #1 10/15/14 - Beta #1: 216 Beta #2: 823
Baby Boy born 7/10/2015
Me: 33 (Mosaic Turner's Syndrome/POF)