If you work and DH works...

linzeek44 · January 2014

What do you do when LO is sick and can't go to school? How do you figure out who should stay home?

Inspired by a week where E only made it to daycare for about an hour.

Today DH is working the morning so I can go to my meeting in the afternoon, but the other days have been pretty terrible (even though they are relatively flexible since school was canceled so I don't have to miss visits to classrooms).

MomtobeNJ · January 2014

I have a lot more paid time off than DH does, so I would say that about 85% of the time, I stay home. It really depends on what day of the week it is, what I have going on at work in terms of meetings or reports, etc.

DH works nights. He doesn't have to leave the house until 2 or 3 pm, so sometimes we can work it out so that I only have to take a 1/2 day off. However, this also means he doesn't get to sleep during the day, so we only do this once in a while.

When she has an extended illness and I know have work piling up in my office, it's hard. I wish I had family that could be a back-up sick babysitter.

MarisaKathleen · January 2014

Unless I'm in the middle of registration or have something important, I stay home. DH makes more money than me and has less vacation.

Bighair12 · January 2014

We rotate days. Plus dh can work from home where I can't. If we are slow and don't have many patients then I will leave work. But if I am on call it is his responsibility.

thebanich · January 2014

Depends on what is going on. I usually stay home but my PTO balance has been chronically low since Finn was born so I've been more adamant about DH staying home (Usually if the kids are sick they still go to my moms but if she is sick one of us stays home).

eshee8198 · January 2014

I am salaried, DH is hourly, plus my job is easier to do from home, so I am the default stay home parent. It was the source of a major fight this week though, DD is also sick, DH said he figured I could just stay home, I calmly explained I couldn't, and we all hugged. Or...i flipped the fuck out and didn't talk to him for three days.

fortunately, the ER gave her steroids and said she was fine to go back to daycare so it was a moot point.

jocymama · January 2014

We are lucky that my mil keeps the girls so daycare is not an issue but for Dr. appointments and such, my job is more flexible and I get a lot more time off so I usually take the girls. DH gets paid mainly by commission so it is harder for him to be off. If I have a hearing or something that has to be completed DH will take the girls.

Flamingemu · January 2014

We both have pretty flexible work schedules so it depends on what is going on. If DH is in the middle of a release (IT push) I stay home, if it is financial statement time he stays home. The rest of the year it is based on who has the most unmovable meetings that day.

willy_gert · January 2014

When DH was on his old shift schedule he would generally stay home with her until I got home and then he would go in to work. And if it was a day he didn't work that was just a bonus for us. I have stayed home a few times, but I have less PTO in general and my job is a lot less forgiving than DH's, so he usually stays home.

We also have several friends that are on a shift schedule that was opposite DH's, so occasionally they have come to our rescue if we both absolutely had to work.

MRoxy0628 · January 2014

I usually stay home. There have been instances where I had something going on, so we would each take a half day, but 95 % of the time it's me. I don't mind, because I like having the extra time with her and my job is flexible that most things can be rescheduled.

Stasi · January 2014

DH is a teacher, so it's more difficult for him to get a lesson plan prepped and ready for the next day on short notice, so I would probably be the one to stay home with her (we haven't had to yet, knock on wood). Kate is also at a babysitters by herself, so we can still take her when she's just mildly sick because there are no other kiddos to contaminate.

melody921 · January 2014

We look at our schedules for the day (meetings and such that are hard to get out of), as well as who stayed home last. DH has more flexibility and more PTO, so recently, he's been the one to stay home. I also try to bank a few days in case a kid is sick while DH is traveling, bc then it has to be me. It's a juggling act for sure.

BPer · January 2014

So far, H hasn't had to miss a day of work. She missed 3 days while he was out of town (I stayed home one, MIL took her for the other two), and he was home with her one day when it was his day off anyway.

Even though his job should be flexible, it really isn't. Mine is really flexible, so I'll stay home unless for some reason I absolutely can't.

IForgotMyLogIn · January 2014

I WFH so I get the short end of that stick pretty much every time. DH is able to WFH on an as-needed basis so he can fill in sometimes.

This week was super sucky with 2 closed days and 2 delayed starts so DH took a morning off and worked from home after lunch.

1fish2fish · January 2014

It kind of depends on what's going on for us at work.

Fortunately for us, I can typically flex my schedule to either work from home or go in on a Saturday, so we usually use me.

However, if I have clients scheduled then DH has to step up- which he does with no problem.

plus12012 · January 2014

It totally depends on what are day is like at work. We can both work from home if we have to. I have limited sick days so if I don't think I can get work done and take care of her I'd have to use one of my days. DH has unlimited sick days so it's usually easier for him to stay home unless he has something really important to do.

hmp1 · January 2014

Now that my parents live here, if they are in town, we send the kid(s) to Grandmas for the day. Leo is there today because he had a 101 fever late yesterday.

Before my parents lived here or when they are out of town (they travel a lot), we look at our schedules and see who has the easier day. Since I work from home, it is usually a split duty thing where he will work from home and when I have meetings or time sensitive project updates to do, he will play with the kid(s) upstairs in the gameroom. When he needs to take calls, I will take kid duty. It works out well since we are both able to work from home.

BarefootContessa · January 2014

My job is much more flexible than DH's so I usually work from home or take time off.

ktnicole · January 2014

What Anne said. We both need to be at work but I often have walk in traffic that needs coverage. Half days are often our solution. Also one taking her to appts and one back home.

ellebee2 · January 2014

We usually take it day by day.... assess who NEEDS to physically be in the office. If it doesn't matter (ie we both could work from home/take a day off) we try to rotate to keep it even. The split has been pretty decent thus far.

AKB090609 · January 2014

Unfortunately because of the nature of DH's job, when both of us were working I had to stay home every time. He just wasn't ever home when she got sick.

kelbel527 · February 2014

It takes a village. We look at our meetings and what's going on with our jobs. Both of us can get work done from home, but he's in sales so he needs to visit customers and I am a manager so being away from the office for too long can be challenging. We split as much as we can. Luckily (for us anyway) my step-mom is currently laid off and available a lot of days. She was home with our sick kid this week. But yesterday she wasn't available all day, so we each did a 3 hour shift.

amandad715 · February 2014

Similar to @stasi about lesson plans, except I am the teacher and it's hard to throw things together last min. Doable but a challenge. With that being said, it's usually me that stays home. DH is a lawyer and even though he can do many things from home, he has meetings, depositions, court, etc so a lot of times he is completely unavailable to help.
He always tells me that my sick days are for this exact reason because a sub shows up to cover. No one steps in for him. But sometimes he doesn't realize that it's harder & more work to be gone than it would be to miss a day in the office. Now if he has court or a meeting or is out of town, I get it.
Sometimes we split a day too, if it's hard for me to get a sub or too late in the morning. Sometimes I wish I had a teaching job that was supplemental like a reading or resource teacher that could just cancel for a day.

CdnFarmGirl08 · February 2014

I do. I teach and DH is self-employed. We would lose too much money if he would stay home and not haul their grain away or keep working on the fields (obviously depending on the season). Most of his April-June/ Sept-November work is dependent on weather so if the weather is good he needs to work.

I use my sick days to stay home with LO as well, so I am still getting paid.

danabsd · February 2014

If it's really bad, doctor bad, H stays home because he has a special illness bank of PTO that extends to caring for children and spouses for illnesses that last over 3 days. He's only had to do that once.

We've also had my mom take her once for a day because we were just back from vacation and really just couldn't miss work.

Other than that I usually offer to stay home first. He makes more than I do and his work is impacted more when he doesn't go in.

jayja2007 · February 2014

Right now since we can't afford daycare or a babysitter we work different shifts. I usually work anytime from 6am -2pm and dh works 3pm-11pm.

I also hate my job so if she's sick I would call in (I have only had to call in once so far).

mrsbhk22 · February 2014

If she's mildly sick (a la ear infection) my aunt still watches her. If she's really sick (a la vomiting), we stay with her. I don't feel like it's someone else's responsibility to clean up vomit from my kid. DH and I discuss meetings for the day and adjust based on our workloads. We often split days.

Pokedot · February 2014

My mom watches DS and he goes to daycare 1 day a week. If we needed and it was a Thursday my mom would watch him but my job is very flexible therefore I'd take the day or whatever is needed to care for him. DH's job isn't flexible at all. Thankfully my employer is very family friendly. There are only 3 of us in the office. One of us has some time off each week for various things. It works out very well!

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