If you are a parent and have experienced what I am about to describe, I'd like to hear from you.
My son lives with his mother full time. I have visitation twice a week and every other weekend. Unlike her, I do not get to see my son every day of the week. Because of this, it has made the bond between me and my son that much tighter. We do all kinds of things together and I give him 100% one on one attention when he is in my care. I cannot say the same for his mom.
The last several months now, my son has gone from extremely happy, playing with his toys, singing and dancing and just in a good mood when he is with me or with his grandparents but gets super sad and upset when I have to drop him off with his mom. Its obvious he wants to be with his dad. Its getting to the point now where he is being disrespectful towards his mom at the drop off location by kicking, crying, and pinching her in the face and arms out of frustration. Of course I tell him what he is doing is not nice and not to do that to his mother.
Now his mom is seeing someone else now and she just got an apartment with him and my son is forced to be in that situation. He is only 2 and even though he is very smart and starting to talk a whole lot better, he is not talking good enough for me to ask some harder questions about why he doesn't want to go to mommy's house.
Is this a phase or could there be more to this as to why he doesn't want to go home to his mom's house. Even when I ask him do you want to go to Mommy's house? He quickly will reply with No! When asked do you want to stay at Daddy's house, he gets really happy and starts smiling .
So any of you parents out there, have you ever experienced your child doing this where they wanted to spend more time with the parent they don't get to see everyday? What is the solution if there is one? A part of me wants to ask his mom is everything okay at home. For my son to say NO, every time he is asked if he wants to go to Mommy's house makes me wonder. I am told he only acts like this when he is being picked up from the babysitter's house and when he is being dropped off by me. His mom claims once they get home, he is fine so I don't know.
Re: Co-parenting issues...
Personally as a child my parents split when I was 2.5 yrs old and from as early as I can remember I would throw a fit, have a screaming, crying breakdown whenever I had to leave my dad (my mom was primary custodian). Its not that I didnt like my mom, I loved her, I just really missed my dad and he was more fun/less rules etc.
On the other hand. I have a 3 year old boy and his father and I are split up and my son is attached to me at the hip. He doesnt really want much to do with his dad. His dad is in and out of his life and thats probably why (drugs are more important). But he also is a complete mommy's boy no matter who is around.
That all being said, I think it depends on the age/situation. I do think its common for a child to prefer on parent over the other.....however, I dont think it is a bad idea to ask mom about what is going on. You never know. Maybe he doesnt like her new boyfriend. Maybe shes not giving him enough attention due to the boyfriend? Who knows. But it cant hurt to talk it out for the childs sake if you and mom have a good enough relationship to do so.
Good Luck!
When he gets older, if he says anything to suggest something is going on then I would be worried. At this point I would not worry because toddlers have a difficult time adjusting to new situations. Keep up the good work. I think its just that you are more fun than mom right now. If she's open to suggestions, you could suggest kindly to her that maybe he needs a little extra cuddling and attention right now. Mom and Dad living separately can be hard on little ones, it can be made a lot easier if parents are open and communicate well with each other.
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BTW, what does your divorce decree say?
My husband's says both parties can absolutely not have overnight guests while LO is there.
My step-daughter could not stay the night with us until we got married.
I'm going to add that you shouldn't be asking your child questions about what goes on at his moms house. That puts him on the spot and can create stress for a child. He will feel like he is stuck in the middle. He loves you both, you are his parents. It will be very hard on him if he feels that he can't please both of you with his answers. It can be very damaging emotionally.
If you feel something is wrong you need to discuss it with his mother. If that isn't working then perhaps you both need to seek mediation or legal assistance.