Coping with sadness

lellymine · February 2014

When does sadness turn into depression? I feel like lately I can't keep my head above water. This week has definitely been rough, we put my dog down on Wednesday, my pregnant niece came home drunk last week and then all the terrible losses that happened recently on our board...I've laid in bed or on the couch and cried the whole week. I don't know if I'm just really sad or if all this has finally tipped me into being honestly depressed. It's scaring my DH because depression runs strongly in my family. I just feel this heavy numbness. If you've been diagnosed how did you know it was time to talk to a dr?

jshrop · February 2014

Do you think it's time? Then it's time. I'd be more inclined to start with talk therapy and be in constant communication with your OB.

JulieSmiles · February 2014

I knew there was a problem when I couldn't get through an evening without having a meltdown cry fest. I started having a much more negative outlook on everything in life and couldn't find any positives. I'm sorry you are going through all this right now. Your in my thoughts.

kibean · February 2014

I am sorry you are feeling this way. Honestly I would mention it to the doctor either way, if it is something concerning enough for you to have mentioned it here.

How long has this been going on? Are you still able to complete daily tasks? Are you able to eat, drink, and sleep? Have there been any changes in eating or sleeping (more or less)? Are you able to find pleasure in things that you used to?

ETA: these are the kinds of questions that I ask clients when I am trying to get at where they are functioning emotionally and are ones that your doctor will most likely ask you. Like I said though, either way I would go and get it checked out.

Sorry, edited twice because I needed to clarify

elsa1688 · February 2014

jshrop said:
Do you think it's time? Then it's time. I'd be more inclined to start with talk therapy and be in constant communication with your OB.

I would do this. Talking with a counselor can be so helpful and they can recommend meds if they feel it will help. It might also be helpful to start talking with someone now and build up trust so if you deal with any PPD, you have someone to call

lellymine · February 2014

kibean said:
I am sorry you are feeling this way. Honestly I would mention it to the doctor either way, if it is something concerning enough for you to have mentioned it here.

How long has this been going on? Are you still able to complete daily tasks? Are you able to eat, drink, and sleep? Are you able to find pleasure in things that you used to?

ETA: these are the kinds of questions that I ask clients when I am trying to get at where they are functioning emotionally and are ones that your doctor will most likely ask you. Like I said though, either way I would go and get it checked out.

I've had anxiety for a long time but DH mentioned last night that he was worried. So I guess it's been a while but it's only been noticeable to me the last two weeks. Everything just seems so hard to do lately. I eat crap and sleep all the time but I'm still tired when I get up but maybe that's just because I'm pregnant.

kibean · February 2014

lellymine said:

I am sorry you are feeling this way. Honestly I would mention it to the doctor either way, if it is something concerning enough for you to have mentioned it here.

How long has this been going on? Are you still able to complete daily tasks? Are you able to eat, drink, and sleep? Are you able to find pleasure in things that you used to?

ETA: these are the kinds of questions that I ask clients when I am trying to get at where they are functioning emotionally and are ones that your doctor will most likely ask you. Like I said though, either way I would go and get it checked out.
I've had anxiety for a long time but DH mentioned last night that he was worried. So I guess it's been a while but it's only been noticeable to me the last two weeks. Everything just seems so hard to do lately. I eat crap and sleep all the time but I'm still tired when I get up but maybe that's just because I'm pregnant.

It could be because you are pregnant, or it could not. I think the fact that it is hard to tell the difference between normal every day pregnancy difficulties, a rough patch, and something clinical is the reason everyone is encouraging you to speak to someone. That said, I think everyone can benefit from short term counseling, whether diagnosed with something or not, but maybe I am biased since I work in mental health

I really commend you being brave enough to ask for support and encouragement here and for being honest about how you have been feeling. I suffer from panic attacks and it took me a long time to accept that I needed medication for them. Best thing I ever did for myself.

lellymine · February 2014

I think I'm just scared to go talk to someone and have them think I'm just being a drama queen or that I need to buck up and force myself to be happy

kibean · February 2014

lellymine said:

I think I'm just scared to go talk to someone and have them think I'm just being a drama queen or that I need to buck up and force myself to be happy

If they are like that, you need to find someone else. I have never once in my life thought that about someone in counseling. People have different thresholds for emotions and things like depression and anxiety are biochemical. Not at all something you should just try to power through.

ashquack · February 2014

I def think talking to OB and reaching out to a talk therapist is a heat first step. I started seeing a therapist when we were in the middle of fertility treatments and it really helped with my "blues" and anxiety issues. All these hormones can be overwhelming and there is nothing wrong with asking for help.

lellymine · February 2014

Thanks guys. I guess I'll call my OB on Monday and get some recommendations on who to talk with.

MrsP419 · February 2014

In my experience (and I had both PPD and pre-natal depression), it is too much when it is keeping you from doing "normal life." If you are constantly walking around in a funk, some little mundane task seems impossible to you, you have no desire to do ANYTHING you normally enjoy (and not just from being tired), or the thought of going through another day is daunting…then it is time. You don't have to go on meds right away; talking to someone helps! I did three months of therapy before going to meds with my second pregnancy, and though I have been on meds a while, I still see my same therapist every 2-3 weeks. I remember a time that I was having a low week and my kids knocked a little table over in our living room, and the thought of bending down and picking it up made me feel exhausted and like it was too much. That is a telltale sign of things being more than just sad.

lest12 · February 2014

I'm sorry you are feeling this way.

I agree with PP - if you think maybe you should talk to someone, then it is time. And there's no shame in it. Having been through depression and anxiety, I can say that sometimes its worse than others, but it never, ever hurts to go and talk to someone and take care of your own mental health. You are worth it... always but especially right now.

Big hugs.

CherSomething · February 2014

If it's interfering with your daily life i.e. you can't find it in you to continue on with your daily routine because of what you're feeling. If that's you--I would find someone to talk to... Even if it isn't interfering, talking it through with a licensed family therapist will never hurt.

I hope things turn around for you. *hugs*

Mztwilson · February 2014

When I was diagnosed I couldn't even bring up the fact I thought I was depressed without crying. I just didn't care anymore all I did was lay around crying.

ElTrain5 · February 2014

I know it can seem daunting to reach out for help, especially at first. But make the call, set up that first appt. Between hormones, life stress, and recent events....it's a rough time right now and we owe it to ourselves to take the best care of ourselves that we can. Thinking about making a similar call myself. Therapy really can help, particularly when you've got specific events you're working through. Feel free to pm me if you ever need to talk. ((Hugs))

lellymine · February 2014

Thanks everyone. Clearly, I'm not in the greatest mind frame but hopefully getting in to talk to someone will help me organize my thoughts and feelings a bit better!

bebemac · February 2014

Hope everything works out, @lellymine, and you get to feeling better very soon. >:D<

coffee-saur · February 2014

Pp's gave you good advic, just wanted to say sorry about all you're dealing with. Hope you get feeling better soon, however you decide. Depression stinks, and it's great there's so much help for it out there. Hugs!

shellbell813 · February 2014

I second what most PPs have said. I wouldn't jump on the medicine train too quickly. But I would definitely talk to your doctor. Talking to someone, maybe seeing atherapist can help for sure. Especially if you are able to identify the triggers to your sadness. I will also say that although it is very possible that events could trigger the onset of depression, most doctors define depression as a sadness that lasts for more than a month or two. That being said, talk to someone if nothing else. And don't be embarrassed for feeling that way. Sometimes things are just too much for us to handle on our own, nothing to be ashamed over. Good luck to you!

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