Another Nanny question (sorry!)

JulyMomma2U2 · February 2014

Pros and cons to hiring someone younger (<25) vs someone older? We've had a few people contact us (through care.com) and the ages range from 19-66.. We're seeing pros and cons to both, but just curious what other peoples thought processes are?

ebp913 · February 2014

My current nanny is 41 but seems younger. She's had her own kids so I do like that she has experience raising children herself. That said, sometimes younger people have a lot of energy and might be more creative in certain ways than older people are. You might find that it's easier to give constructive criticism to a younger person vs and older person but that probably has a lot more to do with personality than age. I just know from dealing with in laws and older family members that they tend to think they did everything right with their kids so if you are doing it differently, that can be met with resistance.

We may be looking for a new nanny soon and I like the idea of someone single and young but responsible. I need someone who doesn't get sick all the time, has enough energy for 3 kids, and is open to my feedback. I like the idea of a younger married person but I am looking for someone long term and I feel like I'll always be wondering when they will get pregnant and quit.

mommaoftrips · February 2014

Ours is young, single and awesome with out LOs. I did an initial phone screen, followed-up in-person, and did the reference checks. I was specific in that she needed have her early childhood eduction certificate. Have experience with multiples, so with the intense 'interview' process - and I think paying decent for my area, I found someone exceptional. She may not have direct childcare experience by having her own BUT she has enough working experience that there are things she has been able to do that we weren't able to (example - she sorted out out nap time routine, so now my LOs go down on their own, which they didn't used to).
In the end, you will just know. Be very thorough with the interview process, and specific in what your needs are and you will find the right fit for you and your family. GL

lindseyb624 · February 2014

Our nanny is mid 30's just a few years older than us. So far I LOVE her. In my mind I wanted a nanny that was older and had more of a grandmother feel but when we met our nanny we just knew it felt right. I think there are pros and cons either way but I'm a big believer of your gut on things like this. I got a really good feeling when I spoke to her references and an equally good feeling when we met in person. My nanny does have her own kid who is in school and has her mom close by so her kid will not usually be a reason for her to miss work. Our nanny is very active and my kid has more friends than we do already and that's something I love and I'm not sure id get that with someone older.

jf198400 · February 2014

I hired a PT nanny from care.com for a few months. Personally I just felt super awkward at the thought of hiring someone older than myself. I am only 29, so I was basically looking at college-age babysitters. I did feel more comfortable with the more experienced 22 yr old, versus some of the 18-20 yr old girls. But really I think as long as you feel comfortable with the person, their age really doesn't matter. This is very obvious to me now that my kids have had multiple daycare teachers, of various ages, that they love.

JulyMomma2U2 · February 2014

Thank you so much ladies! The advice here is invaluable!

Is it wrong to "request" to meet each candidate in person? I have 4 that seem nice.. I plan to phone interview them (so far it's all been through email) this week and set up a time to meet in person. I don't know the "etiquette" for this. Should it only be done for people I'm prepared to offer the job to? For me, it's really REALLY hard to read someone over the phone or through emails.. I need to be in their presence.. I need to see how they react with my kids.. I need to see how they carry themselves.. the aura about them.. idk. Is this an odd request? I've been open and honest with all 4 in regards to the fact that we're entertaining other candidates as well..

oandmplus1 · February 2014

Definitely meet them all in person. We loved a few on paper and the phone screen went fine but the way a few interacted with our kids was not exactly what we wanted.

mae0111 · February 2014

You should absolutely meet them in person. We interviewed a woman with 20 years experience with nannying multiple children. She seemed great over the phone. When she came for the in person interview, she barely looked at DD1, even when we encouraged them to interact. I knew that while she'd probably be an exceptional nanny for older school-aged children, and run a "tight ship", she wasn't right for our almost 3 year old.

We've had 3 nannies - two (including our current nanny) are in their early 40's. They had kids, but they were old enough to fend for themselves if sick (mid-teens), and could get themselves around. We didn't want someone with young kids that would have to take a lot of sick time.

The third nanny was almost 60. She had a ton of energy, but was very grandmotherly and a total pushover. My 3 year old was running the show. She was also absent-minded, and it started to get a bit dangerous. She left the gas stove on one day. She would forget things seconds after I told her. I don't think it was a function of age - just personality.

Good luck!

MickeyM04 · February 2014

That's a tough one! Our nanny is 28 but she has two kids already, so I feel like she's sort of wise beyond her years. I like having someone as a nanny who is roughly our age--I feel like she gets it a bit better. For example, when my mom has watched DS, I had to explain when he was little why she always had to put him to bed on his back (she pushed me on that because we always went to bed on our stomachs), why he couldn't have a blanket, why I wanted him to eat organic produce, etc. I didn't have to tell my nanny any of that stuff, you know? She knows about the Dirty Dozen. She knows about Back to Sleep. I feel like a lot of times the older generation is more set in how things used to be as opposed to how things have changed in the last 30+ years.

That being said, I'm not sure how comfortable I would be with a 25 year old taking care of my kids. Maybe if it was someone with previous experience working at a daycare, or a young mom, or something, but just thinking of like my little sister's friends, I'm like, I wouldn't want them taking care of my child.

I think your best would be someone of your own age group with previous childcare experience or with children of her own. That's just my thought process though, I've only had one nanny and that's the group she falls into so that may be why I advocate for it. Good seeing you over here JulyMomma

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