My mother does not understand my pregnancy

celenaslogin · January 2014

I am 14 weeks pregnant and still dealing with exhaustion, feeling like a zombie, morning sickness is getting less and less though!
She doesn't understand why I'm tired, why I would get sick, she just doesn't understand the pulling pains either.
She acts like her pregnancy with me was a walk in the park as does not understand that every pregnancy is different and mine is just harder. She gets me so frustrated, I feel like I have to educate her about pregnancy as I'm going through it... Shouldn't it be the other way around?
Please somebody tell me I'm not the only one with such a one of a kind mother, it's upsetting me way more than it should.
Thank you xo

SuperTinkerham · January 2014

Honestly I just wouldn't share anything with her. But I was raised by wolves and learned a long time ago to seek comfort elsewhere.

Salsera29 · January 2014

I totally get it. If I mention a symptom to my mom she basically tells me to get over it, or tells me it's just going to get worse. I think @supertinkerham has good advice to just stop sharing things with her.

pfeilele · January 2014

Just remember. Our moms were most likely pregnant a LONG time ago. I can barely remember the terrible things in labor and delivery 16 months ago. I'm not saying you shouldn't be frustrated because she should totally be sympathizing with you, but maybe she doesn't remember how much some of it sucked.

Also, the two pregnancies I've experienced are so completely different. I was more tired than ever imaginable with DS and oh so hungry. If I had never experienced that, I'd never believe anyone who said it

AmericanInOz · January 2014

i agree with pp - it was a LONG time ago, I think my Mom barely remembers what it was like to be pg or have a newborn, so I take what she says with a grain of salt

glitterclaws · January 2014

I stopped sharing with my mom in in middle of the 1st trimester when she asked me how I was feeling and then gave me an "oh you poooor baby" response. And not in a nice way. I find age mates, even ones that have never been pregnant before, are more understanding.

TRS48 · January 2014

Im with @SuperTinkerham on this one.

TurtleMonsters · January 2014

I'd stop sharing too...plus it's good practice for the future, where I learned to stop sharing so much about my child with choice ppl.

alyssa719 · January 2014

Yeah, my mom has never really been supportive so I don't expect her to give sympathy/feel any way... I just wait for her to say whatever and accept it or don't. Also, as everyone else said.. the last time she was pregnant was 30+ years ago. I don't even remember that much from the last time I was pregnant 11 years ago.

cakebatter27 · January 2014

Unless you want to stop sharing information with her, I'd keep in mind every pregnancy is different. You can also tell your mom that. Luckily I've had a great pregnancy and so did my mom. My mil has 2 awful pregnancies. I get to hear both sides. In one ear and out the other.

DinabethL · January 2014

I forgot most of the crappy things of pregnancy and my daughter isn't even 2 yet. It took me being pregnant again to remember.

As others have said I would stop sharing (which is sad and I'm sorry that you have to do that). I still am able to sympathize with other pregnant ladies though even if I forgot about mine.

livkight · January 2014

my MIL is this way. She'll pull information out of me, like how I'm feeling, etc, but then immediately launch into how great and easy her pregnancies were. I've had a pretty nice pregnancy, all things considered, but it's hurtful to always have someone comparing you to their own experience. I've just really tried to stop communicating with her-- not optimal, and it's kind of awkward when she says she "feels like a horrible mother" because she doesn't know the intimate details of my pregnancy, but I've got to protect myself. I hope things let up for you soon.

strmbreez · January 2014

Oy. That's terrible. I agree, maybe stop sharing with her? That's hard to do, I'm sure, but you've gotta protect yourself and keep yourself from stressing out over it.

I've got a girl at work who basically told me that she's been pregnant four times and has never had morning sickness like I do, and how weird it is that I'm so sick... almost like she doesn't believe me and like I'm doing it for attention. I just stopped talking about it. Not that I was giving out information before, she was totally prying for it.

allardr · January 2014

I honestly think people who go through pregnancy forget the details quickly after having a kid. I mean then the focus changes to them. I forget so much about my 1st and it was only 2 years ago. Her's was probably no walk in the park either. I'd just share less. Just say "sorry can't go I'm exhausted" or whatever applies. End of story. If she acts like she doesn't get it just move on to a different subject.

cuntasaurusrex · January 2014

Maybe stop telling her everything you're feeling and just avoid it all together.

andyandrachel · January 2014

My mother had 4 of the easiest pregnancies, labors and deliveries. It wasn't until my first was born that she realized not everyone has it so easy after all. She thought most women who complained about it were being babies or over-exaggerating.

zellatrix · February 2014

I honestly can barely remember my first pregnancy. I have no idea why... Just remember a few moments but over all... Nada.

Mamaduncan · February 2014

gwennie357 said:
My mom is the same. I've got a high pain tolerance and usually don't complain about how I feel all that much, but if I mention even the slightest symptom, I get, "Well, it's only going to get worse." But her perspective is the opposite of your mom's: my mom (a terrible hypochondriac) thinks that pregnancy is akin to terminal illness. You feel terrible, you feel worse, and then you die (or give birth, which feels about like dying, according to her). I've learned now when she asks how I'm feeling to just say, "Fine," and then move on. I'm sorry your mom is the same -- it sucks. But hopefully you've got a great support system around you to listen and give you feedback and advice!

This is my mom EXACTLY! Ugh

My mother does not understand my pregnancy

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