Intro

rrive008 · January 2014

hello. I never thought I'd be here, but here I am. I'm not sure how much I will post, but I feel like I need to get this out and it seems like this place may help me.

First, I'm sorry for everyone's loss. I now know how hard it is to deal with this, and I can only hope that someday we will all be able to heal.

My baby girl was born Jan. 8 2014 at 23 weeks and 3 days due to a shortened cervix that lead to pre-term labor. She gave me 19 days of motherhood, but after a tough fight her heart needed to rest. We were at mass when we received the dreaded call from the NICU. we rushed to the hospital and the doctor filled us in on what was going on. he suspected NEC. We spent 10 hours by her side. I was able to touch her and she gave me a last gift by opening her eyes to look right into mine. the second time her heart monitors went off, we stepped out while the nurses manually pumped air and tried to get her back up. Her heart was tired, and my baby got her little wings at 6:30am Jan 27.

The emotion is still raw and my H and I are trying to figure out how to move forward. Our family and few friends that know, have been great but I am normally someone that doesn't like too much fuss over me, so I prefer to be alone. I realize that I will need to vent and get out whatever emotions I have in order to make myself healthy,so I figured this may help. This was my first pregnancy,my first traumatic experience, and the first time I have ever mourned a loss. I may not post much, but I guess I just needed to know I am not alone.

Sorry for the long post and thanks in advance for letting me get this all out.

veetveet · January 2014

So sorry for your loss xo

MCH77 · January 2014

((Hugs)) I'm so sorry for your loss.

schulme2 · January 2014

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet girl. Please use us as much or as little a you need to. Sending prayers of healing for you and your family.

Bgirma · January 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. I will be thinking about you and your family.

BrittianyM · January 2014

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl. Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

kz's_girlygirl · January 2014

I am so so sorry for the loss of your precious baby girl. Please post as often or as little as you want. We love to hear about each others babies, and welcome anything you want to share.

I totally understand not wanting a big fuss from friends and family. I would encourage you to allow people to help you if it feels right, and to ask people to give you space if that is what feels right.

Be gentle with yourself and know that you are definitely NOT alone. Our baby boy Jesse was my first pregnancy and first loss as well. Do what you need to do in order to get through each minute and know that I am thinking of you and hoping for comfort and healing.

bunnybun4 · January 2014

You are not alone and you have come to the right place. I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. Please use the board as much as you want. We are all here for you.

mingaling2 · January 2014

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl.

Noethola · January 2014

***Siggy warning***

You are not alone. While this is a "club" that no one wants to be a part of, the members of the club are absolutely wonderful and supportive. Please use this board as little or as much as you choose. You may find there are times you need to use it more, and times when you need to step away. We have all been there, understand, and will tell you it is OKAY. It takes a lot to get through these next few weeks/months and then years. Your daughter gave you a beautiful gift. Please feel free to share her name if you are comfortable doing so.

cawettig · January 2014

Am so sorry for your loss of your sweet baby girl.

shandorfml2 · January 2014

I am sorry for the loss of your sweet little one. Feel free to lean on us, ask questions...we're all on the tough journey. (((hugs))

Mrodriguez898 · January 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. Know that you are not alone and that as terrible as it is we can all relate and are always willing to hear you out and give you support. ((Hugs))

stefuge · January 2014

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby girl. These ladies are an incredible source of comfort, strength, and encouragement and I would not have made it through the past few months without them. No one wants to join this club but we are here whenever you need us. Be gentle with yourself in the weeks to come and just take it day at a time, moment at a time. ((Hugs))

kflynn81 · January 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss ((hugs))

Xath · January 2014

*siggy warning**

So very sorry for the loss of your sweet daughter. I hope you can find some support and comfort here among this group.

VyD81 · January 2014

I'm sorry for your loss of sweet baby girl. Unfortunately, you're not alone. Raynor was my first pregnancy. I too wanted to be alone to grieve my own way, and still do.

The ladies on this board are wonderful and we're here for you. Hugs.