Hesitation switching from OB to RE

LolaLou1986 · January 2014

I don't know why I'm hesitating so much to switch to an RE. I checked with RE office and my insurance and I'm all clear to make an appointment. For some reason, though, I'm still hesitant. I think it's because it's just the beginning of all of this for me, since I just had my HSG, and I don't want to switch now that I've started everything with my OB. On the other hand, I also don't want to waste any more time getting things figured out. I know the answer seems clear, to go to an RE, so why am I so hesitant?

missmarypoppins · January 2014

I had my RE referral and insurance clearance all set up for about 3 weeks before I actually called and made my appointment. For me it was a big step to admit that we needed a specialist. If made everything very real. But as soon as the appt was made I felt like a weight was lifted. I felt like we were one step closer to a baby.
An OB is great for that initial testing. But a RE is going to create a plan specific to your needs and your body that will give you the best chances possible of having a baby. An OB just can't do that for you.
Good luck!

jencity9 · January 2014

I think psychologically it is just a really big step and we have to emotionally get used to the idea. The thing is even though you're starting things with the OB there is very little they can do anyway. Like in my case, I did clomid unmonitored (now I know this is dangerous) and when I went to the RE I realized that was a waste of time and even if I miraculously conceived, because of the location and size of the fibroids I found out I had, I would have had a m/c.

I will say that after my consult and finding out I needed surgery and all (I thought it would be a quick fix) I became very overwhelmed and even though I wanted a baby so bad (I was already behind on the timeline I always had thought I'd follow, lol) it took DH and me a good 2 1/2 to 3 years to decide we were ready to move forward.

It is just a really big step to prepare for emotionally so I don't blame you for feeling this way. I would be nice to yourself and take time if you need to get used to the idea BUT if you are going to move forward with the OB for treatment then I definitely say at least do a consult with the RE first because you might be surprised with the additional info you'll get.

lookingup84 · January 2014

missmarypoppins said:

I had my RE referral and insurance clearance all set up for about 3 weeks before I actually called and made my appointment. For me it was a big step to admit that we needed a specialist. If made everything very real. But as soon as the appt was made I felt like a weight was lifted. I felt like we were one step closer to a baby. An OB is great for that initial testing. But a RE is going to create a plan specific to your needs and your body that will give you the best chances possible of having a baby. An OB just can't do that for you. Good luck!

This sums up my hesitation too. Totally made it so real and made me feel more helpless than comforted. I sat on my referral for five months. Needless to say, I had to have another referral sent over by the time I was ready to make the call. I felt just the same after making the call and a lot better once speaking to my RE who totally "got it" when I felt like my OB was just going through the motions, ya know? Good luck!!

LolaLou1986 · January 2014

Thanks ladies! I'm glad I'm not the only one...I thought I was crazy! It makes more sense now after hearing your stories and I think I will call tomorrow to schedule my appointment with an RE.

gsancho · January 2014

Hesitation is definitely understandable, for all the reasons PP's noted. But you will feel SO good having a plan after seeing an RE. As negative and down as I have felt at times in the last year, I felt the most hopeless and lost before I saw an RE.

CandaceC1020 · January 2014

I hesitated in switching to an RE. My hesitation was this - switching to an RE is admitting that there is a problem ... that we're dysfunctional ... that we need help. I kept hoping month after month that we would get pregnant on our own and that we'd be ok. I kept making excuses like 'it took such and such 15 months to get pregnant.' Seeing an RE would make things real. Seeing an RE would be admitting that there is a problem with us. Seeing an RE would force me to deal with the truth.

I did not want to deal with the truth. The women here in TTTC helped me realize that I needed to move on to an RE for peace of mind. Continuing with an RE would not help me get to the root of the problem and sure wouldn't help me get a baby.

I'm still new to the RE thing (I have a consultation for my final analysis and plan of attack next week). Moving to an RE was the best thing that I could have done. I'll know what is going on and start taking steps next month to starting a family.

ksgsmu · January 2014

I was the opposite I guess... I ran to an RE! I knew that seeing an RE was moving me hopefully closer to figuring out what was wrong and on to success. But like previous posters have said... there is a mental and emotional aspect to it. It is a big step so your feelings aren't unusual. It is scary seeing a new doctor and while you hope and pray that it is a step in the right direction there are usually no easy answers. FX that you have a good experience with your RE and that you get a plan that makes you feel good about your decision! Good luck!

ktupiak · January 2014

I had the exact reaction. I didn't want to admit that I was really broken and had to go to a specialist. But my story doesn't have a happy ending, I did not like my 'RE one bit. It seemed like he was only concerned with the money and didn't explain anything to me. The other downside for me is that he is the the only one around and he works at 3 different clinics in the area. I decided yo go back to my OB, I feel more comfortable with her for the time being

chickysue · February 2014

It took me close to 5 years to go to an RE. I understand. I didn't know what an RE was, my gyn never mentioned one.

I actually am ridiculous and heard a commercial for my clinic and could not stop thinking about it. I literally couldn't ignore it. I had googled and looked into it prior, but just couldn't go. I was at work and just had to call and take care of it. I made the appointment without even telling my DH and I tell him everything.

I know I don't have a baby yet, and I know that I am unexplained, but I have more hope now than ever before. I am so happy I went to the RE. You need to do it in your time though. You will know when it's time.

Hesitation switching from OB to RE

Re: Hesitation switching from OB to RE

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

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Hesitation switching from OB to RE

Re: Hesitation switching from OB to RE

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motilityIUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFNIVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Choose Another Board

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Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!