Advice about flying and being MOH at 32/33 weeks

bjoo79 · January 2014

A close friend asked me to be one of her Maids of Honor (she has two), at a wedding on May 31st. The only thing is, I'll have to fly from SF to NYC, and I'll be 32-33 weeks pregnant at the time. And since I'm MOH, I'll be up and on my feet all day getting ready, taking pictures, at the wedding. And I'm trying not to take too much time off work, so I would be taking red-eye flights and then returning to work right after the weekend. When I told my friend how far along I'd be, she already said she totally understood that I wouldn't be able to make it. But I feel awful and sad that I'll be missing out on her wedding.

At the same time, I don't want to risk anything happening to the baby. We tried to get pregnant for two years and I had two miscarriages, so it has been a long journey to get to this point. And I know my friend would be devastated if something happened because I flew out for her wedding. I've asked my mutual friends (who have kids) their opinion, and they don't think I should risk it. Two of them went into pre-term labor around 32-33 weeks and had to be hospitalized. They ended up carrying full-term but they still had to go to the hospital to get checked out. They were saying you really want to be near your doctor/hospital so close to the due date, even if it's to get checked out for a false alarm.

But then I hear of so many people traveling 'till 34-35 weeks, going on Baby moons, or other trips. So now I wonder if I'm making too big a deal about this, and I should just be a good friend and be MOH at her wedding. I think I'm just looking for reassurance that I'm making the right decision. Any advice would be helpful.

littlemissmarla · January 2014

i don't think your making a bad decision, you seem like your a great friend for even thinking about attempting to go to this wedding but i think i'd also want to be close to home during the last few weeks... i know it will stink to miss out on a friends wedding but i'd rather play it safe. good luck with your decision - i'm sure your friend will understand!

andyandrachel · January 2014

I would talk to your OB or Midwife about your concerns. Perhaps they will have an opinion about how your pregnancy is progressing and if they think it is advisable or not.

That said, I worked full-time standing on my feet 8 hours a day until 40 weeks with my first. I don't think the day itself would be too difficult, perhaps just the travel.

pantherRN · January 2014

Talk to your doctor, but I would go provided there were no problems and my doctor had no concerns.

lowerygirl · January 2014

My MW told me no flying after 32 weeks. I'm sure they all have their own opinions on it. I would talk to your OB or MW and see what they say.

violet615 · January 2014

My husband and I talked to our midwife about taking a baby moon. She recommended we do it before 30 weeks just to be safe. I know everyone is different and medical opinions vary greatly so my advice would be to talk I your OB/MW.

Ylvelill · January 2014

As others said, speak up your ob about the risks. Also can you have an assistant at the wedding? A friend who can do most of the leg work required do you won't have to be on your feet all the time? You can still stand up for her without taking on too much.

marsalisails · January 2014

I just took a red-eye last night at 14+ weeks, and I'm a zombie right now...I don't see the harm in going if your doctor ok's it (I would take PPs advice and get trip insurance), but just be prepared that after a red-eye over to the east coast, wedding festivities and a long flight back, it will probably take a few days to feel normal again. Drink a TON of water and get up to move around every hour or so. It wasn't comfortable in the least

allardr · January 2014

I'd go if it's a close friend, which clearly it is if you're MOH. However I'd just do my leg work beforehand. Know a local hospital (near both where you'll be staying and where wedding is). I'd only go if DH was going too. I'd also take the day after the weekend off to re-cooperate regardless of saving PTO time.

Also I don't go for the "on your feet all day" I've been in weddings. The day is pretty much sitting while you get hair/makeup. Ceremony will be toughest part & I suppose pics depending on how big an ordeal the bride has that be. But you don't have to dance much and can cut out early of reception (I'm sure bride would understand).

bjoo79 · January 2014

Thanks for your advice ladies. My OB said she think it should be fine to fly before 34 weeks, but she also said she won't know for sure how things will be going for me. She said we'll know better in the next few months how I'm progressing, but by then it'll be too late, 'cuz I need to decide in the next week.

And allardr, yes, my husband will definitely be coming with me. He's way too worried to let me go alone. I might take your advice and take an extra day off work too. But believe me, I'll be standing for more than just the ceremony. I've been in 8 weddings already, and we usually spend hours standing after getting hair and makeup done...getting the bride ready, walking to take pictures, taking pictures for more than hour, walking back to the getting ready area, waiting for the ceremony to begin. And it's a Catholic wedding, so it's going to be long and there's going to be lots of standing and kneeling and standing again (hopefully I can get out of that part).

But yes, Ylvelill, thankfully, there's gonna be another MOH there (there's two of us), so hopefully she will do most of the hard work!

eortman · January 2014

I wouldn't worry about the being on your feet part, but a cross country flight would be more than I would be up for at that point, I think. I flew later than that in a previous pregnancy, but it was only a hour and 1/2 flight. I don't think I could be comfortable in an airplane seat much longer than that.

Advice about flying and being MOH at 32/33 weeks

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