Should I travel? - Loss in DH's Family

Missfunball · January 2014

So its been a crazy morning.

We got a call from DH's family that his Uncle Pat died. This is really hard on my husband because he has only a small bit of family and most of his more fond memories include Uncle Pat more than anyone else in his life. We didn't get to visit them this holiday (which we were supposed to) because of DH's job schedule (military) and its really going to eat him up and I want to be there for him.

The question is should I fly back home with him? I'm due March 3rd and the flights would be about 7 hours with a layover...oh and its in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, so pretty dang freezing right now. Normally I wouldn't do it but I can't imagine not being there for him considering this is the closest person to him next to his mom.

Let me know what you ladies think.

edit- *for mobile bumpies I'm 35 weeks*

SmittyPants · January 2014

I think you should call your OB if you have concerns and check with the airline to make sure you can fly. I think some do (did?) have restrictions about flying in the last trimester.

pepperedmoth · January 2014

SmittyPants said:
I think you should call your OB if you have concerns and check with the airline to make sure you can fly. I think some do (did?) have restrictions about flying in the last trimester.

This. If my provider cleared me, I probably would, though. I know I'll be in the minority here!

Missfunball · January 2014

@smittypants no restrictions with Delta for traveling, have a call into OBGYN already.

aLsMay24 · January 2014

I think some airlines also have restrictions about flying this late in pregnancy. I'd check with your doctor and the airline. I'm so sorry for your loss.

SmittyPants · January 2014

Missfunball said:

@smittypants no restrictions with Delta for traveling, have a call into OBGYN already.

Keep us posted on what they say. I'm curious.

SmittyPants · January 2014

And I'm a jerk- I'm sorry for your loss. I hope your husband is okay.

pepperedmoth · January 2014

SmittyPants said:
And I'm a jerk- I'm sorry for your loss. I hope your husband is okay.

Aahhhh I suck too. I am so sorry for your loss.

How IS your husband doing? His feelings on the matter would have a HUGE bearing on my final decision.

Missfunball · January 2014

SmittyPants said:

And I'm a jerk- I'm sorry for your loss. I hope your husband is okay.

Aw you're not a jerk for giving a good response to the question, but thank you (and I hope so too)

[Deleted User] · January 2014

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LiFeIsAmIrAcLe · January 2014

So sorry for your loss.

Personally, I'm not a huge fan of traveling this far into pregnancy. BUT I feel like in the instance of deaths and emergencies, there are exceptions. (unless you are high-risk and then I'd have to say it's probably not a good idea). Like you, I would definitely really want to be there for my DH. Let us know what OB says.....I'm sure you can find flights that won't have an issue as long as your doctor clears you.

katykatykaty · January 2014

As long as my doctor said it was ok, I would go. I'm sorry for your loss.

jfb29 · January 2014

Sorry about DH's uncle. I'd want to be there with DH in such a situation but if it isn't safe for you to go then I think everyone will understand.

BabyVDM · January 2014

I wouldn't go. Wouldn't want to have something go wrong in the middle of a 7 hour flight.

My OB would never have cleared me.

Missfunball · February 2014

So good news the OBGYN gave me an all clear with no reservations on it. All my latest tests look a lot better and so I'm back low risk. Her only following advisements:

- check with airline (done, delta has no pregnancy restrictions)

- compression socks and tighter shoes for flight and to make sure to have ankle movement or make some trips to the restroom to prevent any clotting

- have labor and delivery numbers to nearest hospital (done and done) NICU available

If this weren't someone that was his only father figure (DH is not close to many people, maybe 5 and this person was one of them) I would not be going. But I know he'll hold his emotions in until they give way, and I don't want him to be alone when that happens, he is my world and I couldn't imagine not being there for him.

@bearsbearsbears

If we deliver my DH automatically gets 10 days paternity leave and my work would have let me off anyways.he also is staying longer (through thursday) I will be coming back Sunday. My support system for delivery here was to be DH only so we just add my MIL (which I'm ok with, actually more so than my own mom), she is also a CNA so thats a bonus. There is a chance to be snowed in longer but my work is aware of that which is the primary concern. Weather is fine, I don't mind the cold and do have cold weather gear including a spare jacket from DH that fits the belly, though I may buy new boots so I dont have to lace mine up (getting harder to bend over).

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