July 2013 Moms

Yes I'm going there and I need help

Disclaimer: before reading if you're going to suggest CIO please move on. I am not willing to do that suggestion. Appreciate the lurking tho!

Basically L doesn't sleep well. At. All. Never has slept well even for naps. Lately she is up every 45 minutes to an hour sometimes sobbing with tears and sometimes just a "I want my binky" cry. We do feed her once throughout the night(1am ish) and we stick to a stern bedtime routine. No teeth yet but doesn't mean she isn't teething. We have tried Tylenol two nights (quarter of a dose) one night she slept a little longer before waking up, the other night it made no difference.

I am not complaining- I had a baby because I wanted one not bc I wanted to sleep. But how do I function when most nights I'm not even getting a solid hour of sleep? My pedi said "if you had her on three solids meals a day she would probably sleep better, then you can ferberize." Well... L also won't eat solids. Most times she refuses- clamped lips and gums. We have done all the fruits(she hates) and veggies (she's taken a liking to squash, sweet potato and carrots) but still is a struggle to get her to eat. And btw pedi- I'm not willing to ferberize.

Sorry this is so long. I'm just frustrated, sleep deprived and over whelmed at work. Can any other mamas give me advice, sympathy, empathy, tell me I'm not crazy??? Thanks a bunch

Re: Yes I'm going there and I need help

  • I don't have much advice, but I'm sending lots of sympathy (and coffee) your way!

    My LO is generally a pretty good sleeper aside from the occasional wakefulness and growth spurt. But last night she just wouldn't have it. I brought her into my bed with me after an hour and a half of trying in the nursery and she slept all night. I guess she just wanted cuddles. Could your LO just want to be close to you perhaps? I dunno, I'm as clueless as the next FTM!
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  • Where does LO sleep?
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  • Sorry you're going through this. Have you tried an all night white noise machine? The ones that turn off proved detrimental to making the transition to another sleep cycle, but now we have one that stays on all night & I really do think it helps. It's at least something to try if you haven't. We got ours at Target for $25.
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  •  I have the tranquil turtle and I love it. Lo loves it, it lulls her back to sleep if she wakes up. I also second the white noise machine. GL. :)
  • I'm sorry. My first was a horrible sleeper, and it eventually was pretty debilitating for me. I would fall asleep in the shower standing up.

    We had to use a loud noise machine for the length of every sleep until after 3 years of age (partially because of our rude neighbor and his obnoxious habit of letting his dogs bark at our windows, the wind, the sky, etc) but it helped keep the sleep cues in the environment consistent.

    Do you breast feed and if so do you avoid all caffeine? LO couldn't handle ANY (none of my kids can).

    Ditto pP - can you give details about when/where LO sleeps? Have you tried charting when/how long little one sleeps? This helped me recognize the patterns in LO's sleep that I had missed because he was always waking at different times.

     

     

     

     

     

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  • edited January 2014
    Quick question - how old is your LO? Are you near the younger end of the group? If so, she may just not be really read for solids yet. Frankly, DD is almost 8 months, and some days she eats like it's her job, and others she is completely not interested. ETA: Also, I found that, unlike the pervasive myth that solids = longer sleep, they actually disrupted her sleep for the first month or so. Now that she's used to them, her sleep is back to "normal."

    re: sleep, I second the recommendation for the No Cry Sleep Solution (I bought it for $.01 used on Amazon). It is *not* a quick fix, I'll tell you that right away, but it gives you ways to help baby stay asleep through more than one sleep cycle. After using some of the techniques, we've moved from waking up every 1.5-2 hours to every 4-5 or so.

    I also second the recommendation to feed her more often at night - is there a reason you're not? Could you work in a "dream feed" right before you go to bed, so you get a longer stretch right then?

    Also, re: teething pain, you may want to try Motrin instead (I find it works much better). Is there a reason you're only giving 1/4 dose? I understand not wanting to drug them up, but that little might not really be helping much.
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  • You can try a couple of things if you haven't already. BTW these are just things that worked for me.

    1. I put crib matress at an incline

    2. I had to stop  putting footie pjs on DS. I don't know why but this helped. I learned this trick from many nights with DD

    3. Some nights he just wants to eat more than others. I think that is okay.

    4. White noise

    5. Bath and books every night

    6. His blankie

    I am not sure about the solids issue or your pedi telling you to feberize. I did but that is what worked for me. Do you think you could try another pedi, maybe they have a different opinion.

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  • I will also say that when he was getting his bottom two teeth it was hell. He was just like your LO. I couldn't even see the teeth but pedi assured me that his gums were swollen and they were coming. As soon as they broke through he slept better.

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  • I'm mobile so I can't see how old she is but have you tried ibuprofen? It helps with teething a little more than Tylenol. Also, when we moved Aiden to his room he started sleeping longer. I think we were waking him up when we moved or dh snored.
    I'm sorry you and lo aren't sleeping well. Being exhausted makes everything harder!



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  • Agreed about the No Cry Sleep Solution, actually giving a full dose (1/4 dose of Tylenol is not going to do anything) and/or trying ibuprofen.

    We've also had great success introducing a lovey. Good luck!
    Mom to three girls and pregnant with #4!
    L: 7/12/13
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    E: 3/7/17
    Due 11/10/18
  • @lizabethann06 Out of curiosity, how long did it take before you saw changes with NCSS? We've seen some shifts in sleep (2-hour blocks have become 4, sometimes 5-hour blocks), but the mythical 6-7 hours seems to be eluding us.

    We're working, now, on nursing, then putting her in her crib and patting her tummy/singing to sleep. Hoping to move to singing/patting until she's falling asleep, but not quite there yet.
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  • First- thank you to all of you for the support and suggestions. I just broke down and cried yesterday morning while brushing my teeth. It's exhausting.

    Ok so to answer questions: L sleeps in her own room in a crib. We have Lutron lights so when we are getting ready to start the bedtime routine we turn the lights down, take either a shower (if husband doesn't have a conference call and can team shower with us) or a tubby. We lotion after and put pjs on. Then we do a book or two, she gets a 6 oz bottle and we snuggle while she eats. (I formula feed- gerber good start gentle). L usually goes down no problem. We put her snugamonkey on ( he sings lullabies) she rolls onto her side and off she goes. Some nights she sleeps until 930 and wakes up other nights she's up after an hour. (She lays down between 730 and 8 pm).

    She's 6 1/2 months old and such a happy baby any other time. This has been going on for a few weeks but before that she was still waking about 4-5 times a night.

    H thinks that if we feed her more at night she will get used to it and cause a bad habit. Maybe at that 1am feeding we could try a 6 oz instead of a 4.

    I'm off to google NCSS!!
  • I've had success the last few nights with a fleece sleeper and a fleece halo. We feed solids at 630 and a 8 oz (the biggest of the day) bottle at 8 after bath time at 730. She has sttn the past two nights with this change. As soon as I type this she won't tonight. I'm hesitant to post! Haha she has been up about 8 times a night for 7 months now. The past two nights with these small changes she sttn for the FIRST time ever.

    Also no nap after her last nap. (She usually wakes at 330 PM.

    Hope this helps. I too had a bad breakdown last week. I'm talking ugly cry. I was afraid I would wreck or be so tired I wouldn't hear her on her monitor. It was bad. Hugs to you. For real.
  • Hilaboo86 said:

    I've had success the last few nights with a fleece sleeper and a fleece halo. We feed solids at 630 and a 8 oz (the biggest of the day) bottle at 8 after bath time at 730. She has sttn the past two nights with this change. As soon as I type this she won't tonight. I'm hesitant to post! Haha she has been up about 8 times a night for 7 months now. The past two nights with these small changes she sttn for the FIRST time ever.

    Also no nap after her last nap. (She usually wakes at 330 PM.

    Hope this helps. I too had a bad breakdown last week. I'm talking ugly cry. I was afraid I would wreck or be so tired I wouldn't hear her on her monitor. It was bad. Hugs to you. For real.

    The no-naps-after -last-nap rule is what turned things around for us. It was a little hard for dd to get used to for about a week, but she did get used to it and is now a very good sleeper at night (usually only one wake up). She usually wakes up from her last nap around 3 and is awake until 7. We do a lot of interactive play during this time and by the time I give her her last bottle she is ready to fall asleep. I hope things get better soon. It's so hard to function when you're getting very little sleep.
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  • Hilaboo86 said:

    I've had success the last few nights with a fleece sleeper and a fleece halo. We feed solids at 630 and a 8 oz (the biggest of the day) bottle at 8 after bath time at 730. She has sttn the past two nights with this change. As soon as I type this she won't tonight. I'm hesitant to post! Haha she has been up about 8 times a night for 7 months now. The past two nights with these small changes she sttn for the FIRST time ever.

    Also no nap after her last nap. (She usually wakes at 330 PM.

    Hope this helps. I too had a bad breakdown last week. I'm talking ugly cry. I was afraid I would wreck or be so tired I wouldn't hear her on her monitor. It was bad. Hugs to you. For real.

    The no-naps-after -last-nap rule is what turned things around for us. It was a little hard for dd to get used to for about a week, but she did get used to it and is now a very good sleeper at night (usually only one wake up). She usually wakes up from her last nap around 3 and is awake until 7. We do a lot of interactive play during this time and by the time I give her her last bottle she is ready to fall asleep. I hope things get better soon. It's so hard to function when you're getting very little sleep.
    This. I don't let him sleep past 4:30 pm because he needs at least 3.5 hours before bedtime. Otherwise he won't go to sleep easily.
  • @Hilaboo86 good luck tonight and so happy to hear!! My fingers are crossed for you ;)
    @lizabethann06 that's what I said to DH. She's too young to be manipulative or play the game. When she wakes up (not if!) we are going to try the bottle again.

    We did skip her afternoon nap the past few days and I'm not sure if she's overtired that she can't stay asleep but home girl is tired!!

    We also tried a fleece halo sack tonight!! I will keep you posted.
  • Thank you @lizabethann06! Pray for me... Drink for me... Anything at this point!!!! :x
  • Thank you! Sending sleep vibes your way if this post didn't jinx me! I feel your pain mama! Shit stresses you out!! Keep us posted!
  • How do you keep them from having a meltdown if you drop the last cat nap?

    And as a corollary...how do you stop them from taking it? DD falls asleep on our way home every time, whether we're in stroller, carrier, or car.
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  • Daycare for us if a mile from our home so the car ride isn't an issue to fall asleep. If L is that exhausted that she's falling asleep on her own I don't stop her. It's the "I'm not going
    To sit here and rock you bc I know you're tired but you're going to fight it" type deal. I think Another bumpier mentioned it but we play on the floor and it's very interactive. Then when DH gets home, L is beyond excited.
  • Daycare for us if a mile from our home so the car ride isn't an issue to fall asleep. If L is that exhausted that she's falling asleep on her own I don't stop her. It's the "I'm not going
    To sit here and rock you bc I know you're tired but you're going to fight it" type deal. I think Another bumpier mentioned it but we play on the floor and it's very interactive. Then when DH gets home, L is beyond excited.

    Gotcha. It's about a 15-min walk for us, but she's already tired at that point (~6pm), so is out really quickly, but then wakes up right away if I try to transfer her out of her stroller or carrier (we live in an apt, so I can't just leave her asleep in the lobby) when we get home, and then is WIDE awake. Sigh.
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  • I know I'm a little late to this. But, our LO needs to be super toasty. Our room was drafty and his room is drafty so we do have a space heater with it thermometer.

    He also sleeps in PJs and a fleece sleep sack. When he was first born, in July, we live in the desert and we didn't think he would be cold. We added a layer of fleece and bingo that was it. Make sure he doesn't wake up sweaty and he never does.

    That helped with sleeping tremendously! Hope it went better :)

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