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still a mama's boy - jealous DH

brideinsummer04brideinsummer04 member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Hi everyone, DS has always shown a strong preference for me over DH (and Grandma is a close second). Does anyone else see this with your child and if so, what do you do? I would obviously be upset if roles were reversed. I try telling DH that when DS is older he will probably be closer to him bc they will be doing boy things together. That doesn't seem to help. I feel bad for DH, but to be honest he ruins many many nice moments I have with DS with his jealous remarks and it is just getting worse over time. TIA!
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Re: still a mama's boy - jealous DH

  • smileybabyboysmileybabyboy member
    DS is the same (17 months). I feel awful every time H tries to come over and hug him and DS fusses and comes over to me.  He seems to prefer to play with me over H most of the time.  Although, H says he's only like that when I'm home.  He can play with him and hug him all he wants when I'm not around and DS is great.  

    When H tries to hug him and he pushes away, I usually will say "aaww thats so nice you're hugging daddy" and he will then usually lean in for a hug.
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  • kalettekalette member
    Do they have anything they like to do just the two of them? I think that really helps. DH and DD play together in ways DD and I don't, so it gives them a special kind of bond. She still always comes to me when she is sad or hurt, but she gets so excited when Daddy comes home and gets him to play chase, or rides him around like a horse, or DH's new favorite, they play "bad guys" in the office (DH's video game, he lets DD steer his character around, or she'll color on his lap with his dry erase pens).
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  • brideinsummer04brideinsummer04 member
    Thanks ladies!

    @smileybabyboy Like yours, DH does say DS is fine when I'm not around and they have the whole day together on Fridays, but that doesn't seem good enough for DH :(

    @ kalette Yes, they do have things that they do together and I make sure to preserve that as just a "daddy thing." If DS asks me to do some of those things I tell him no, that is something you do with daddy and steer him to do something else.

    Well at least some of the things that are being suggested I have been doing. I don't know if there is anything else I can do?
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  • *LrCg**LrCg* member
    Let time pass. I have a 4. 3 & 1 year old. They were all momma's the first 1 1/2 years and now they go through phases. I was tell my husband it will pass but when its a daddy phase it sure feels awful and seems to last forever. Your DH should try hard to not let him bother him and continue spending time
    Perhaps have him take over bath time- make it special with glow sticks and turn off the lights! DH & I each does things with our kids that the other doesn't it's what makes us special!
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  • traveltheworldtraveltheworld member

    Yeah, I'm not sure if there's anything more you can do either.  DS (18 months) is the same way; but we've noticed that he has started to like DH more in the past few weeks.  Last night when we were going upstairs to his bedroom, he turned around and asked for Daddy and wanted to make sure DH was coming with us as well - I think that made DH's day! :)

    I do make sure that they spend at least some alone time together every day though - usally when I'm cooking, DH takes DS outside to play; and DH goes to Gymboree with DS every Saturday. 

     

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  • brideinsummer04brideinsummer04 member
    Thanks everyone. I really appreciate your responses bc they validated some of my thoughts. I'm going to have a long talk with DH.
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