Acting like a baby- WWYD

lexusolsen · January 2014

Dd is 2.5 and I am 21 weeks pregnant. Lately dd has been insisting she is a baby too. I explained that she was my first baby and then we talk about how a baby can't do things that a big kid can. Eating yummy food as opposed to drinking "baby milk", etc. today she called my bluff. I don't have any bottles anymore so I put watered down milk in a training sippy cup. How would / have you dealt with this?

dmartin726 · January 2014

I am sort of going through the same thing. Everytime I say baby Joey is coming..or something with the word baby, all of a sudden she scream's I'm a baby! So I just kind of blow it off and say noo silly your a big girl. Sometimes I'll say, that's too bad. Babies don't get to eat ice pops, and jump in grandma's pool...etc.

She definitely going back and forth. Some days she is a self proclaimed "big girl" and some days she is going backwards. It's going to be tough...

bumpuser8448316 · January 2014

It's a phase. DS went through it too while we were preparing for a new baby. I indulged him a bit and gave him lots of extra attention and cuddles because I figured he was just stressed and worried about losing his place in my life. As soon as DD arrived, he was all about being a bug brother and giving him important big brother tasks (like handing me the wipes) made him feel SO good and proud. She'll get over it

Linnea503 · January 2014

My son is the same right now. He's two. I just indulge him and play along. I figure he's working something out in his head so I let him pretend. He also calls other toddlers babies though so maybe he really doesn't get it. Ha!

LatteLady5 · January 2014

Linnea503 said:

My son is the same right now. He's two. I just indulge him and play along. I figure he's working something out in his head so I let him pretend. He also calls other toddlers babies though so maybe he really doesn't get it. Ha!

I do the same most of the time. DD was crying and clingy this morning so I held her "like a baby" and carried her around. Then it turned into a tickling secession and she was back to being a big girl. She loves being a big sister and is constantly "helping" me with little brother but occasionally she needs to be babied and I'm okay with that.

lexusolsen · January 2014

I know it's a sign she needs some more attention, which I give her, I just was trying to avoid rewarding it. Does that make sense? I gave her the "baby milk" and later we cuddled. I'm trying to let her express herself without making it really fun.

bhuffman · January 2014

I don't have great advice, but when my boys did/do that, I always talk about the things that only big kids can do.

lexusolsen · January 2014

I reminded her that babies only drink baby milk and she said , "I'm a baby. Can I have baby milk?" I didn't want it to be fun because she normally drinks out of an open cup at home. I'm not trying to punish her but I don't want it to be a fun way to get attention either. Since I knew she was looking for attention when she finished her "baby milk" we cuddled and watched a show together. I'm trying to find a balance between validating her feelings and indulging the baby things.

JCM · January 2014

Hav=Fath said:

Maybe it's more of a typical 2 year old phase because I'm not having another baby and Hadley is alll about being a baby these days. When I put her in or out of her crib she insists I carry her like a "yiddle bitty baby" and we do because it makes her giggle. She's loving it and I know that she will outgrow the stage quickly so I'm embracing it.

I agree with @Hav=Fath DD went through a I'm a baby & don't want to be a big girl phase around the same age. There was no baby coming or even a friend that was having or just had a baby. I think this is a normal phase for some kids even if there is no baby in the near future. I just tried not to buy into it too much but I remember it being a difficult phase. Don't over think it & just do what you feel is best.

lexusolsen · January 2014

NandaB said:

lexusolsen said:
I reminded her that babies only drink baby milk and she said , "I'm a baby. Can I have baby milk?" I didn't want it to be fun because she normally drinks out of an open cup at home. I'm not trying to punish her but I don't want it to be a fun way to get attention either. Since I knew she was looking for attention when she finished her "baby milk" we cuddled and watched a show together. I'm trying to find a balance between validating her feelings and indulging the baby things.
In that case I would have told her that we didn't have any baby milk, but if she was hungry or thirsty she could have a big kid snack like (insert snack she likes here). You kinda created more work/a bigger deal I think by trying to indulge that one.

But yes, totally normal. G adjusted really well to having N around, but he still asked to be carried like a baby sometimes.

I think you are right. I will try that instead. She started doing this after my nephew was born. When he's around and she does it it's actually easier. She can see that the baby doesn't get to do whatever fun thing we are all together for (have birthday cake, play catch, whatever) so hopefully it will get better once our baby is here in June.

sschwege · January 2014

DD went through that as well. Honestly I just humored her, "Oh there's baby E!" gave her rattles, rocked her like a baby, etc. The life of a baby is pretty boring to a toddler so she moved on.

dairygirl19 · January 2014

I don't engage it. I just say, "No, that's for babies, big girls do X."

Or I'll say, "Go get your baby doll and we'll do Y with it." She LOVES that.

I also play up the big helper. "Go get your doll a bottle."

pitterpatter129 · February 2014

I found when we had a new baby (kids are 26 months apart), it was best not to discuss it at all. I went through an entire pregnancy rarely discussing the upcoming sibling. We just did things and didn't talk about it. Set up a nursery, etc. We might say, oh the baby will sleep here, but then let him play in there. One day DS1 stayed with my sister and BIL and his cousin he adores while we had a baby. We brought home the baby, said look a baby, and went on about our life. I think when people make a big deal about the new sibling coming, it just stresses out the siblings. Especially when they are really too young to process that or make a lot of sense out of what will happen in the future.

lexusolsen · February 2014

Hav=Fath said:
I don't get why you'd want to discourage it, I can't imagine they'll actually regress and stop talking or doing things independently if you play along? Why not just roll with it? For us it's just a fun stage, not something I would try to stop her from doing.

Then again, some days she's a turtle, dog, cat, or monster... she's very creative, a baby is just another hat she sometimes wears.

I don't mind the carrying or holding like a baby but how I am going to manage it when the baby comes? I feel like it would be less confusing to her if I handle it consistently instead of playing along now and then suddenly
Stopping when the baby gets here. I'm also concerned that if acting like a baby gets her attention she will take it further. She has noticed that the baby poops and pees in a diaper. I don't want to regress with potty training either. Plus, we just got her a big girl twin bed. I don't want her to suddenly want to go back to the toddler bed (which we plan to convert back to a crib for the baby).

Linnea503 · February 2014

Maybe check out the book Playful Parenting. It's helped me understand why it's so important to pretend and play along with kids. A lot of it is geared towards school age, but I've still found it helpful.

If we were pretending and DS asked for baby milk I would either "give" him pretend milk, or just give him milk in a regular cup.

Good luck, it's so tough to know what to do, especially with new sibling issues etc.

segerama · February 2014

My four year old is constantly playing pretend. At 2, she pretended to ba a baby. We would hold her and feed her from a doll bottle. Around 3, she was constantly pretending to be a cat, dog, Dragon, etc. Now she is to being a princess Doc McStuffins or acting out movies. Still, on occasion she pretends to be a baby and we indulge her.

lexusolsen · February 2014

Dd loves to play pretend too. We also indulge her with that. This seemed different because it wasn't about playing it was about competing with our baby or my brother's son who was born in November. Yesterday I tried some of your advice. When she said she was a baby and needed baby milk I told her I didn't have anymore but I had other drinks for big kids if she wanted one of those. While we were running errands she said she was a baby and I said, "ok, then I guess you need to ride in the cart because babies don't walk around the store like big kids do." But I also try to recognize that she is looking for some attention. So I try to make sure to give her that too. Thanks, ladies.

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