Single Parents

Intro/help?

Hello I have a 2 1/2 yo and a 7mo. My husband and I have been together nearly 11 years. He has unfortunately chosen alcohol over us. I'm putting my big girl pants on and moving on. No abuse or anything he just doesn't want to be a family man and we have chosen different paths. I'm a sahm, teAcher by occupation. We have a crazy mortgage. He agreed to stAy away for three weeks while we figure out where to go what to do. Btw we have done counciling this is just where we are :(. Are there resources to help me get a place to stay? I know it will be a battle to stay here and I don't want that for my kids. Any help guidance would be appreciated. I can't go back to work because one the job market for teachers is tough and two we can't afford daycare. Tia

LOUD NOISES!

K- born 7/5/2011

G- born 6/24/2013

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Re: Intro/help?

  • Section 8, look at craigslist, contact a realitor about rental properties.

    Sorry to hear about your soon to be ex husbands battle with alcohol and that he choose that over your family. Just know your making the right desicion and that you are strong enough to do this.

    Welcome to the board
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  • Well, the daycare thing, you can google subsidized child care + your state.  That would bring the cost of daycare WAY down.  You could probably do the same for subsidized housing, unless you live near friends/relatives that are willing to take you in?  What about insurance?  Do you need it for you/your children?  www.allkidscovered.com takes ALL KIDS and I think moms too.  You can also sign up for WIC. Thats all I can think of off the top of my head.

    Welcome!
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  • Do we need to be legally separated? To apply for everything. My husband has a good job and for now I am on his insurance I'm sure he will keep my kids for the long hall. I'm scared and tired of this and I wish it was different but water under the bridge I will move on.

    LOUD NOISES!

    K- born 7/5/2011

    G- born 6/24/2013

    image







  • No you just not living together. I believe. If you get state help they will make him pay child support and he should keep the kids on his insurance.
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  • The state will probably order him to insure the kids if you have no health insurance.  Definitely apply for WiC and other state aid sooner rather than later as it's a process.  They can also help with rent and child care expenses if you qualify.
  • Just wanted to mention both as a person who has grown up in sec 8 and as a person who has volunteer taught in sec 8 homes that if you have several options for where to live there are ways to scope out pretty safe/clean subsidized housing. You can visit the places and see what kind of people live there and are hanging around. Good signs are immigrants/refugees, kids walking around outside, and, this may sound silly, but people looking happier as opposed to suspicious.

    Some people don't feel comfortable living in an area where you might be a minority race/ethnicity, but at least in my city, the white sec 8 is the worst, the black sec 8 almost as bad, and the mixed race/Asian/Arabic sec 8 is great.
  • Just wanted to mention both as a person who has grown up in sec 8 and as a person who has volunteer taught in sec 8 homes that if you have several options for where to live there are ways to scope out pretty safe/clean subsidized housing. You can visit the places and see what kind of people live there and are hanging around. Good signs are immigrants/refugees, kids walking around outside, and, this may sound silly, but people looking happier as opposed to suspicious. Some people don't feel comfortable living in an area where you might be a minority race/ethnicity, but at least in my city, the white sec 8 is the worst, the black sec 8 almost as bad, and the mixed race/Asian/Arabic sec 8 is great.
    This! Be sure to check out the area where you might move in!  Just like you would if you were to move anywhere


    tig594 said:
    The state will probably order him to insure the kids if you have no health insurance.  Definitely apply for WiC and other state aid sooner rather than later as it's a process.  They can also help with rent and child care expenses if you qualify.
    And this too.  I applied for All Kids in October and they just sent me paperwork to fill out.  Also, for subsidized child care, it took about a month before I was able to get that all worked out (I applied 5 weeks before I started DD in daycare)
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  • I'm so sorry that's the path he chose. I was married to an alcoholic, long before getting pregnant with a BF. Leaving him was the best choice I ever made. I can't imagine dealing with that with babies in the picture. Keep your strength up, you're doing the right thing. Trust that everything will work out, and it will. 
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