WWYD One Twin Leaving NICU Before the Other

nblondheim · January 2014

I need your advice/opinions:

We have been informed that one of our twins may be discharged tomorrow at 34 weeks 5 days from the NICU. I have been just staying right there with the twins and they told us if one gets discharged first we could still continue to stay but the twin that is discharged is our complete responsibility which I understand and get. We all thought it would be great to be able to stay but this morning as I paid attention I realized it may be a little difficult! I have to use the bathroom (a walk from our room), go get food, (in the family room or cafeteria), eat (can't eat in our room), etc which requires me to leave the room and I would have to take our twin with me into the possibility of germs and how do I use the bathroom with her?! I know this would be the same at home but I could leave the twin in her bed, in a bouncy chair, etc and I don't have those options here. I truly can't see myself being able to leave one twin at the NICU and take the other home either. We live 75 minutes away and going back and forth with a preemie would be crazy too. Has anyone else dealt with this? What did you do? What is your advice/opinions for us?

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nblondheim · January 2014

@kirotea I totally thought about the car seat! Unfortunately I don't have a sling/wrap at all and have a carrier but she is too little for it

@TallAsh Trust me I want to stay but am also freaking out a little bit now about the logistics of how that would work!!!

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aLsMay24 · January 2014

I'm with the other ladies. I'd see if you can find a carrier that supports her weight (Might be an issue with a preemie) and just carry her everywhere. If you can't find a wrap I'f use the cat seat with a cover. Not perfect but I couldn't leave one there and take the other one home.

nblondheim · January 2014

@bandteacher Yes it is... I was in tears talking to DH. He works a week on a week off and this is his week to work so as of Monday morning he would have the whole next week off which would be great. But if she gets discharged tomorrow like they anticipate we still gotta get through the weekend! I have visitors sometimes but not all the time. DH's parents may be able to come stay.

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nblondheim · January 2014

The other twin is just working on completing all 8 feedings on his own. He takes and starts them all but typically does half or a little more. We just need to build up his stamina. He has completed 2/8 the past 2 days. They said they would estimate just a few days after but I am guessing it would be more like a week.

nblondheim · January 2014

@TallAsh We just have the double stroller that may be a pain but is definitely an option. I have thought about that too but I have only left the NICU twice after being in the hospital for almost 9 weeks now and was a hot mess both times I left. I would just feel really bad leaving the other one!!!!! Yes these are our firsts!

@bandteacher it is definitely an option. I just panicked before I knew it was an option!

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cmb2 · January 2014

I agree with a pp about putting baby in a ring sling/wrap/etc. Do you have the funds to get a k'tan or other easy wrap? (the moby might be a LOT to work with) Or see if you have a babywearing international group near you. Most of those moms are super super supportive, and might let you borrow a wrap, or you could possibly borrow from your local chapter's lending library until you are able to get one of your own.

katykatykaty · January 2014

If you guys can afford a carrier, I would definitely try to get one tonight. I just read that baby is supposed to be 8 lbs for the K'Tan, so you might have to do a Moby. I haven't heard of any weight requirements for it.

That sounds like a really hard situation, and I think I would want to stay there, too. I'm sorry it's so difficult!

nblondheim · January 2014

I really appreciate all the responses and advice! It helps a lot!!!

I guess my OP maybe was a little confusing in my panicked mind frame. I can't say they are for sure discharging one tomorrow because if she has a setback she is staying. But the way it looks now she will be discharged. There isn't an option to keep her as a hospital patient. The option is to discharge her and they will leave us the open crib but that is it. We can all still stay in the room but she would be a visitor right along with us and is our complete responsibility and therefore making things like eating outside the room, using the bathroom, etc. more difficult because we can't just leave her. Hopefully that makes better sense @Laura833 and @WisconsinCheese12.

PinupMomma08 · January 2014

I have to agree with getting a wrap. I would go get a moby tonight at target and just wear her all the time. I'm sorry your dealing with this!

LiFeIsAmIrAcLe · January 2014

It's hard for me to speak from experience because I'm a FTM.....but I don't see how I could take one baby and leave the other there. I would definitely explore the options of strollers and baby carriers as the others have mentioned. It will be tough but I think you would be a mess at home knowing your other little one is there all alone.

nblondheim · January 2014

@LiFeIsAmIrAcLe
I love your sn! Sooo true! And I think you hit the nail on the head and are right...I'd be a mess if I left!

elliebean14 · January 2014

This is my first baby so I defer to everyone else on logistics and such, but I think the ideas above- using a carrier, carseat, stroller-that would allow all of you to stay together sound great. And I definitely agree that having some visitors help out (the ILs would probably love to be asked to help, right?) could make it much easier on you.

Kristen61607 · January 2014

Is there a hotel or Ronald McDonald house by the hospital? I only say that because you said you live a good deal away from the hospital... and I'm sure you're ready to be out of there.

Then maybe you and DH could swap times as to who goes to the hopsital and who stays with the discharged baby outside of the hospital?!

I'm sorry - this is a tough decision....but know that this is VERY common with twins. Soon both will be back home!!!!

mamamia866 · January 2014

I would look into visiting nurse options then, if his only issue is feeding. I'm also a FTM but I think it is more beneficial to keep them together, for you and the babies. If you can take them both home and have a visiting nurse check in you everyday, I think that's a better option. That may take more than a day to set up, but it's worth asking about.

SomersIsles · January 2014

So sorry you're dealing with this

I couldn't imagine leaving either and it seems you'll be more at ease if you're able to stay with both babies with you (especially considering the commute).

I agree w others. Get a moby ad just wear the other baby as often as possible. I'm sure you'll become an expert at getting baby in and out with all the practice. A car seat would also help. Even though it's an unexpected expense I'm sure a moby will come in handy in the future regardless.

Nonetheless, sorry you hafta stress about this in addition to everything else. Hopefully both babies can go home sooner than later!

nblondheim · January 2014

Thank you to each of you for your advice/opinions! It really means a lot and definitely helped! The verdict is we will be staying after Karley is discharged in the room. My in-laws will be coming for the weekend and then my husband will be here Sunday for a week. We are bringing a RNP and I will be looking for a wrap tomorrow! Thank you all again!

WWYD One Twin Leaving NICU Before the Other

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