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Newbie Blended family question...

Starlette1983Starlette1983
in Blended Families
I am 9 wks pg, and my husband has twin 8 yr old girls from a previous marriage.  The twins recently learned they were going to have a new bro/sis, and they are fine with it, but I found myself wondering if my husband or I had some obligation to tell his ex-wife about the baby.  Husband says that he doesn't think the twins will say anything to her, I'm wondering if we should tell her.  We've been married a little over a year, so I'm still getting used to the whole step-parenting thing, all of the relationship complications that come with it, and what the right way to deal with stuff is.  I would appreciate any advice from people who have experienced this!
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Re: Newbie Blended family question...

  • Mrs.SesaMrs.Sesa

    Eh...if y'all talk to her cordially..then sure.

    If not...then I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure she'll find out eventually either way.

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  • FloF9FloF9 member
    Ditto - what Mrs.Sesa said.  If you're not on speaking terms why would you approach her?  I wouldn't think it was necessary.
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  • starrynight726starrynight726
    I don't know if this will help, but when we are finally able to get pregnany we will not be telling SS's BM that we are expecting. She is honestly that last person I am concerned with knowing.
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  • xmaryrickxxmaryrickx member
    Would it be better to have your DH tell her or have her be told by the twins, who will almost certainly let it slip? Which is going to elicit the worse reaction?
    Not to mention, it is not fair to ask them to keep secrets from their mother.
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  • RaeLipsonRaeLipson
    I was in the same situation, and my advice is to tell her ASAP. It puts the kid in a really awkward position if they have to keep the secret from their mother.
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  • Erin Mary AckermanErin Mary Ackerman member
    kids should NOT keep secrets from either parent.  Next time DH talks to her, tell her he has good news!  And just assume she'll be happy for you.
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  • MrsSledgeMrsSledge
    I ditto the pp that your DH should let BM know.  She's going to figure it out sooner or later that you are pregnant and keeping it from her (and expecting the kids to) will only lead to bad feelings.  For better or for worse, you are now tied to this person, she's a member of your family (like it or not) and if you treat her like one it may help the awkwardness of the situation.
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