Vent More fun from my RE's office...

GoaliesWife123 · January 2014

If I don't vent right now, I am likely to explode, so please forgive me in advance.

As most of you know, we have not had much luck with our RE's office. We thought at first that we were very lucky because she accepts my insurance. However, we quickly discovered that this office is at the lower end of the spectrum for qualified and recommended offices. (A search online shows us 2 of 5 stars...)

First, we almost never reach someone in the office when we call. I don't understand this because every time we go into the office, there is always someone sitting at the desk talking to someone else. Today I was in for my blood draw and when I arrived, the receptionist was on the phone (I was shocked) and she told the person to hold while she looked for the nurse..she turned around and the nurse was directly behind her and told her she didn't want to talk to that patient. The receptionist then told the patient that she was not available and they would have to leave a message. Who does that? What kind of business are you running??

Second, nothing in this office happens with a sense of urgency. Nothing. Our test results. Our questions. Nothing. You would think that given the deadlines and other circumstances with TTC that an RE office would understand the urgency that its patients are asking for. For example, I had my blood drawn at the office this morning and still have not heard the results. This was my progesterone check and frankly, it is going to let us know if we even have any hope of a possible bfp this cycle...but I called and *shock* I was sent to voice mail. It was the exact same situation last week when I had my LH drawn. I'm so frustrated right now that I could puke.

Third, the communication sucks. You all already read about my problem with one tech telling me I had three follicles and the next telling me I had none. Techs (in my opinion) should never render their opinion in an appointment because they are not qualified. This is standard practice in this office and I find it shameful that they continue with this, even when they make large errors!

Lastly, we never get to talk to the actual doctor. The only time we saw the doctor was (1) our initial appointment and (2) my sonohysterogram. That's it. Instead of getting a phone call from the doctor, we get phone calls from techs who have "talked to the doctor". I don't understand this at all. We actually have to make a separate appointment in order to have a conversation with our doctor. We had to wait two weeks before we could even get an appointment. I just don't understand how this is right.

We do have our appointment tomorrow to talk with the doctor and I plan on bringing a list of my concerns and complaints. Isn't the point of paying an RE's office to monitor you to make you feel like you have more control? At this point, I feel exactly the way I felt before being monitored. I don't feel like any one is on our side at that office. In fact, I feel like any time I call, I am being passed off to voice mail because no one wants to talk to me. My true thoughts: Because we are not going through the office and paying thousands of dollars to have an IUI (because we do ICI at-home) we are not a priority. At all. That is not at all a good feeling.

*End of rant*

I'm sorry for the rant. I just know that all of you can understand, in some way, this frustration. I just needed to get this out to people who would actually understand. I could call and talk to my Mom, but she wouldn't have a clue what "standard" practice at a fertility clinic even means. Thanks for listening!

JGY · January 2014

Oh BOY, can I relate and I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this. If I remember correctly, you are severely limited in your choice where RE's are concerned, aren't you? Because, obviously, my first piece of advice would be to find someone else, like, immediately.

We had a very similar experience with our RE and his clinic staff. They were unbelievably slow, their staff was often dismissive, NO sense of urgency, nothing. Our Dr. didn't even recognize me when we ended up in the elevator together once. Like, not even a glimmer of recognition.

I don't want to turn this thread into MY story, so I won't go into all the details, but I basically feel like our RE cost us thousands of dollars and tons of heartache because they didn't listen to me from day 1, and had I not gone for a second opinion at precisely the time I did, they would have cost me thousands more and would have ABSOLUTELY caused me another failed cycle. Thank GOD the second opinion Dr. caught their mistake and gave me a new protocol. And of course all of it was due to either lack of access to the actual Dr., or him (and/or his staff) not listening to us.

There are also other non-TTC things that they were awful about too, when I had a surgery and they didn't communicate about my options there. Didn't ever bother to mention some very real alternatives that I should have considered.

Ugh, I wouldn't recommend them to my worst enemy. In fact, I may just finally put together the letter that I've been meaning to send them for a year and half now. Thanks for the kick in the butt!

GoaliesWife123 · January 2014

@JGY Now I completely understand why you so strongly suggested I advocate. I'm so sorry you went through this, too! I just don't understand, at all, how a fertility clinic can be so awful.

We are limited, in the fact that no other RE takes my insurance. We have been considering going elsewhere and getting some kind of financing, but obviously, if we could avoid that, it would be great. I am going to call around tomorrow, depending on how the appointment goes with my RE tomorrow.

JGY · January 2014

@Goalieswife123 - What we ended up doing might actually be somewhat helpful for you. For a number of reasons (one being that the icky clinic had our last vial of sperm sitting in their freezer and I didn't want to have to pay to courier it anywhere) we ended up having to stay with them for our final insemination. But we used the protocol and prescription given to me by the 2nd opinion doc. You might be able to gain insight and get a proper plan if you can finally get all of the info. from your current doc's office and just take it with you for a 2nd opinion consultation. You'd have to pay for that out of pocket, but could stick with the first clinic for any expensive procedures or tests.

Does that make sense?

I will say that I've found that many of the really good docs these days totally get what a PITA it can be to deal with insurance. And EVERY doc out there right now is being forced to learn that the cost of care is a BIG deal. So you may find a doc who is sensitive to the financial issues, and willing to advise you without needing to have control over the whole process.

Anyway, keep us informed! Though I truly hope your journey isn't much longer and you get a BFP this cycle.

GoaliesWife123 · January 2014

Thank you so much @JGY. That is a great idea. I am currently writing down all of my concerns and do plan on letting the RE know that leaving is a big possibility. There is one doctor that is HIGHLY recommended, but doesn't take my insurance. I am told they will work with you on financing, though. Maybe the point will be moot, but I can't rely on them to get back with me regarding my progesterone numbers, I don't know if I should even go in for a beta test next week. I feel like I will get more answers from the FRER in my bathroom!

doodah1013 · January 2014

We were in a similar situation. We were with an OB practice for the first 11 months of our TTC process. We stuck with them because they were less expensive... But in the end we did not receive good care, no one ver knew what they were doing, one time they lost our sperm and one time a doctor told us that we should come in for an IUI "whenever your body feels like it...."
Switching to a doctor with good reviews was the best thing we could do. It is delicate situation... And this is your process and you should take control. When we switched it was much more expensive, and we had to take some time off to get testing done (which is good because they discovered I have a slight hormonal imbalance that the other office never even looked for). If you are paying for sperm, might as well get the most out of it.
We are so happy we switched doctors because when our doctor had to inform us about the non-viability of our recent pregnancy we really felt she handled it in the most professional, compassionate way possible. We will always be thankful for that kindness. If you have to ask yourself if you would receive the same treatment in your current situation then you may not be in the right place.
Good luck to you!

GoaliesWife123 · January 2014

Thank you. You are absolutely right. We will put it all out there tomorrow and my wife has already said that if she gets one more bad feeling from that place, we are leaving.

FWIW I am so, so glad they handled everything with compassion and professionalism for you.

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