Super nervous about my baby shower today

Melissa72777 · January 2014

So today is my baby shower which is being hosted by my mom. The planning of the event was full of drama because my mom does not get along with my MIL and SIL. It's really her having some unexplainable feeling about DH's family trying to take me away from her. (I'm an only child and my stepdad passed away in November so I'm pretty much all she has now.) DH's family can be a little pushy when it comes to the whole "Now we should all be one big happy family since our kids got married" but they mean well. Anyway my mom refused to allow MIL or SIL to be involved in the planning of the shower other than to get a list of friends/relatives they wanted to invite and finally allowing them to get door prizes for the games (after MIL called DH to complain and I ended up begging my mom to give them something to do.) So after a bit all the drama had died down until yesterday. I was talking to my mom and she was saying she was going to reserve one of the tables for me, DH, her, and a few of my friends to sit at and everyone else can choose their own seats. I said that if she is reserving a table we should save seats for MIL & SIL cause I would assume they would want to sit with us too. Well she freaked & said she refuses to sit at a table with them and she will just go sit with her friends if anything. She actually sounded like she was about to cry over it. I told her not to reserve any tables and just let people sit wherever. Then I talked to her this morning and she says how she barely slept last night worrying about everything and having to see & deal with "those people" (meaning MIL & SIL). She actually said she can't wait till it's over. On top of all this I am on bed rest and quite honestly do not even feel like going because of my back pain and off and on contractions. I'm really hoping that things go smoothly and I can hold up through the whole 4 hours it's planned for. I'm hoping my mom doesn't make a scene and flip out on MIL or SIL for something stupid (which actually did happen on the night of our wedding, my mom almost slapped SIL across the table at the dinner after our ceremony, then my mom got upset with me when I told her she was being out of line.) It just sucks that I can't even look forward to it and have to go into it with a bunch of nerves.

cMichelle0423 · January 2014

As shitty of a situation as it is for your mom to feel like she's going to lose you to your MIL and SIL, I think she's being very childish and selfish. There's no reason to create all this drama and stress for you while you're pregnant AND on the day of your baby shower. As much as you don't want to hurt her feelings, in this case I don't think there's anything wrong with putting her in her place. She's going to have to deal with your husband's side of the family for a while so there's no need to have a terrible relationship with them. That's only going to be stress on you which can on turn put stress on your relationship with everyone else. Try to enjoy your shower and deal with it later. However, I do feel like you should have a serious talk with her about her at attitude with MIL and SIL. Good luck!

Unknown · January 2014

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LaNorte · January 2014

I'm sorry you have to deal with all of that at the same time! I think the most important thing to keep in mind is to take care of yourself during so much craziness. Maybe sit with neither mom or MIL? Maybe ask a good friend to be your buffer zone, and have her ready to intervene if things get tense? My SIL and I do this all the time for each other. We both have a hard time dealing with our MIL, so we have a hand gesture that means "I need you to come and interrupt this conversation right now!"

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