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Ethical Dilemma

WasNotWasWasNotWas member
in June 2013 Moms

So...in a shining motherly moment, this morning I was trying to get everything together for school and put Ty on the couch, sitting up, as I have done many times before...but this time, he decides that he wants to play with the toys left on the floor from last night and FALLS OFF THE COUCH!!

Bradley was there to give me the play by play of what happened and Ty quickly calmed down after some mommy snuggles. Everyone is fine, but the ethical dilemma is...do I tell my husband?

Bradley never fell off anything when he was a baby and we would always joke that the first one to have him get hurt on their watch would never live it down...this is literally the first time something like this has happened with either kid (that I know of) and I'm tempted not to tell him because, shoot, don't ask don't tell and if a tree falls in the woods - style logic.

I'm leaning don't tell, what would you do?

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                                                                   Bradley 05-04-11 & Tyler 06-18-13
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Re: Ethical Dilemma

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    WasNotWasWasNotWas member
    you're freaking me out @chicagochic82!!
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                                                                       Bradley 05-04-11 & Tyler 06-18-13
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    FunkyPhoenixFunkyPhoenix member
    edited January 2014
    I say don't tell. I had this same dilemma yesterday! Ben bumped his head, yet again, and it started kind of looking red on his brow. There was a day last week where he feel forward from a sitting position (I think he was trying to get to something and forgot that diving forward face first doesn't work) and he busted his mouth on a toy to the point that there was a little blood. Scared me and I felt HORRIBLE. I told DH. Same day he was wobbly army crawling and bumped his head on the coffee table. Since entering this stage of pseudo-mobility he is hurting himself all the time! Anyway, after all that I really didn't want to tell DH that it happened, yet again, on my watch so I didn't tell. It's going to happen a lot so I figure no need to report every little incident. HOWEVER, you might have to worry about little Bradley ratting you out. Kids talk a lot...  
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    WasNotWasWasNotWas member
    ok now you guys are having me start to worry. I really think he is fine, but will be calling daycare in a minute to double check...damn y'all are my bump conscious...
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                                                                       Bradley 05-04-11 & Tyler 06-18-13
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    edited January 2014
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    GavelGavel member
    WasNotWas said:
    libberluru said:
    hmmm I go back and forth on what to do in that type of situation. Maybe @gavel has an opinion! She is a decider of deciders.

    gavel has no power here, I truly don't care what she says on the subject

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    Awww shucks I feel special...

    I'd tell him, I'd wanna know from DH if something happened so therefore I'd tell him as well.
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    Monkeybutt80Monkeybutt80 member
    I did the same thing.  I put him on the couch sitting up, I went to toss a piece of trash in the kitchen and turned around, I saw his big heavy falling forward off the couch.  I saw him fall, but couldn't catch him in time.  He cried but calmed down in a little bit. We kept an eye on him that day but he was fine. My husband was there to see it also so I didn't have your ethical dilemma but I vote for telling your husband.  That way, your husband also knows that Ty is mobile enough to fall off the couch now. 
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    needanustartneedanustart member
    I'd tell just so he'd know that it's possible and not do that himself. However DH would never make me feel bad or like he "won" so it wouldn't be a big deal in our house. G opened a window on the third floor once, climbed into the window frame and was banging/pushing on the screen with his whole body when DH found him like that and pulled him out. It was so scary and I wasn't there to see it, but even though he was under DH's responsibility at the time he told me right away so we could get on popping the thief locks on all the windows so we wouldn't have that happen again. I still get chills thinking about what could have happened during that incident and I am SO glad we both knew that was on the radar. 
    Plus G would totally rat me out too if something bad happened to Arlo! I mean he frequently yells at me to "give him milk mommy, he is crying and wants the boob!" he's like a little body guard. He makes me feel like a negligent mother sometimes he's so good!

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    WasNotWasWasNotWas member

    Thanks everyone, truly. I texted my husband (he is OOT until Friday) and he was really sweet about it and basically said, when you are almost 24 lbs, once you get leaning you can't stop!

    We have a really teasing relationship, so it's not the "fear" of him making fun of me, I just know if the shoe was on the other foot, I would tease him about it.

    But we live and learn and won't be doing that again :)

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                                                                       Bradley 05-04-11 & Tyler 06-18-13
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    DencasaDencasa member
    I haven't read all the words but I would tell him cause my DD1 would rat me anyhow lol
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    daffy2kdaffy2k member
    I read all the words so I see that you did tell your H. I'm sure Ty is fine. If it makes you feel any better, when Madeline was only 2.5 weeks old I was shopping at the mall with my mom. I had her in the bassinet of the stroller so I had left the car seat snapped into the base in my car. As I was going to put her back in I lifted her too high to get over the side of the seat and whacked her head on the side frame of the car. Hard. Probably not as hard as I though, but still. She wailed, I cried. She was totally fine. We kept a really close eye on her because we didn't really know how hard she had hit her head, but she stayed very alert and never showed any signs of concussion or even it hurting after the fact. I NEVER told my H, and maybe never will. At the time, after I knew she was fine, I also knew I'd never live it down.
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    TheTamedShrewTheTamedShrew member
    Ditto what everyone else said, but I always tell DH so that he won't leave her on the couch or unstrapped in something when I'm not there.  Luckily we haven't had any falls except when she lunged out of her bouncy seat unstrapped on the floor.  After that incident I stopped leaving her on anything unstrapped or unattended because I knew she could fall forward. I still put pillows behind her when she's sitting up in the floor because we have hardwood floors.
    Overprotective mom here.
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    BC&LMBC&LM member
    ChicagoChic82 said:
    I'd tell him. What if he is alone with Ty later and Ty acts weird. I'd want DH to have a frame of reference for anything odd that might come up.
    This is what I would personally do.  It's your call, though.
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    BC&LMBC&LM member
    edited January 2014
    WasNotWas said:
    Called daycare and they said he is fine, but they will be on the lookout for anything out of the ordinary. And told H because Bradley would for sure rat me out (didn't even think of that) and we need to be sure we don't put him in the couch unsupervised anymore. I'm gonna crawl under my desk and cry now
    Don't cry! Stuff happens all the time.  

    ETA: If it makes you feel any better, I accidentally bit my LO's finger the other day.  He stuck his hand in my mouth just as I was closing it. I guess my reflexes were too slow because my teeth hit his finger.  It didn't even leave a mark or anything, but he cried for a good minute or two.  Then he was fine.
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    BeaslejlBeaslejl member
    Something similar happened to me.  At first I resolved to never EVER tell anyone, but after I sort of calmed down from my guilt I confessed to DH that night. His response was, "I'm glad I'm not the one that did that. You would have been so pissed...." lol. He's probably right. I felt awful about it happening.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    The same thing happened with LO yesterday morning. I was already at work and DH was watching him. He told me after he got to work. He wanted to be sure everything was OK with LO. My mom kept a close eye on his yesterday because we weren't sure if he hit his head.

    I appreciated DH telling me. I didn't flame him but reminded him that he cannot leave LO alone sitting on the couch.

    Unfortunately Bradley witnessed the fall. If you don't tell DH, I guarantee you that you that Bradley will.

    *** I didn't read through all of the responses so this may already have been said ****
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    TheTamedShrewTheTamedShrew member
    Sorry to highjack thread, but @PSNLS, how is your LO recovering from the flu? Your post reminded me. Hope everyone is healthy again in your household :)
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Here's the update from our flu encounters... DH definitely had the flu. He had all the classic symptoms- high fever, whole body aches, no energy, cough, thick chest congestion. He still has some congestion. Almost every day he says "You know, I could've died. I felt like I was going to." I'm hoping that he will agree to get the flu shot next year.

    We're not so sure LO had the flu since he improved the day after he started Tamiflu. I'm glad it never progressed beyond fever, mild coughing, 2 sleepless nights, crankiness, and whiny crying but I also felt kind of silly when he improved so fast. LO really seemed to be following the same progression as DH and the doctor agreed. Better safe than sorry!

    Thanks for asking! @thetamedshrew

    Sorry for taking over your thread @wasnotwas
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    phishgirl29phishgirl29 member
    Late to the party today. Catching up on all the words. I'm glad you told him. You're an awesome mom!!

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    No longer the bestNo longer the best member
    My kid hit his head 6 TIMES YESTERDAY! And 2 of the times were blatantly my fauilt (head on door frame and head on phone).  And he has fallen off the bed.

    These things NEVER HAPPEN to my husband! 

    But a toddler witness that is tough! 
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