We are in a nanny share with another family whose baby is around the same age as DS. The other baby (OB – making up an acronym) was super fussy for the longest time and would cry for basically no reason. Since OB has started crawling, the fussing has stopped. I think, because DS has been a really easy baby, the nanny developed more of an affection toward him (I’m not just saying that as his mother). She’ll do things such as if the OB is fussing, ignore him for a little bit and focus on DS instead. Granted, I understand that because babies fuss for no reason sometimes. The other day, I came home and OB was sleeping and she was upstairs sitting with DS. I took the dog out and came back and OB was crying downstairs and I had to first point out that OB was crying, and then take DS from her to get her to go downstairs. I think she speaks in harsher tones to the OB and is less patient, but I could be wrong. I really like the other mom, would consider her a mom-friend, but I also know that they are very happy with the care their baby gets and they really like our nanny. Maybe it’s just in my head. Would you say something? What would you say? In the past, issues I've had, they've said they were fine with, so it makes me a little gun-shy to bring things up because they are happy with the care. I’m the one that has seen it, but what would you say to correct it? “Stop loving my kid more?”
Sigh… I’m just looking forward to the day when we can hire our own nanny or have my mom watch him, because there are a few things I’d change, but we’re really kind of stuck. Like – it’s my damn baby and I’ve been away from him all day. Hand him over to me and don’t make me stand there for 10 minutes until it just gets awkward and I have to ask to pick him up from you. Let me say goodbye when I leave and don’t say “bye bye mama.” And when I come down to see him, let me pick him up. Don’t call him over and break my heart because he comes over to you and not me. Ugh. I hate this sometimes. We should be so lucky she loves him so much, but it just hurts like a mofo sometimes.
Re: WWYD: Caretaker Question and a Vent
I can relate to this. My MIL watches my son for us- paid of course. I feel like I could have written this portion of your post myself. She doesn't go home right away after I get home so I have to fight for my son. He will go to her more often than not because he spends 12 hours a day with her and I get him for 3 hours before he goes to bed.
I wish that it wasn't this way, but it doesn't get any better when you have a family member watch them either.
I have a Daughter born 2/26/2013. She is pretty much amazing!