Struggling to Decide When to TTC #2

hohmanam · January 2014

Just wondering if other ladies are in the same boat. I have always known that we want at least 2 kids and I would really like them close together...which means, time is ticking! DH has been onboard since we had DS. I'm just struggling to decide "when" is the right time. If we start trying now, it is likely we will have another winter baby near Christmas. I really wanted to try for a Spring/Summer LO this time around, but I'm afraid if I wait until June or around there they will be too far apart. I never had a close sibling when I was younger, so I really want DS to at least have that option....anyone else struggling on timing?

OhBaby+2013 · January 2014

I'm with you. I would love to start now but I don't want a Christmas baby. So it's either try right now or wait until may and have possibly another Jan baby. That would be ok with me though. I don't think waiting until June or July would put your kids too far apart. 2.5-3 years is actually a good age difference. They would still get a chance to be close and be friends. Plus if our LO is 3 when baby 2 comes he will be that much better prepared to help out with the baby and be more self sufficient. Good luck in deciding.

Wild_flower25 · January 2014

there is no such thing as too far apart, my kids are 5 years apart and I wouldn't have it any other way. Stop over-thinking and just let it happen

you may not be able to conceive right away so you might be better off "trying" sooner than later.

BabyHope2013 · January 2014

We are aiming for our next one to be at least 2-3 years apart from our first. I would like to be out of or on our way out of diapers with the first before the second one if possible. Plus I am really enjoying this time with our first son----and he is such a busy, active toddler that I cannot imagine going through my first trimester pregnant at the moment. lol

ta78 · January 2014

Mine are 2.5 years apart and it seems to be a good age difference. I think encouraging them to play together and having family time helps. I have friends who are 18 months apart and best friends and 5 years apart and best friends, and on the flip side both that don't get along at all. You never really know.

martha919 · January 2014

You could just not try/not prevent and see what happens. The in-between place is nice because it's sort of left out of your hands. :-) I tend to overthink things, too, so I love that DH and I are in the "take things as they come" camp. If I ever had to decide when to *try* I would probably freak out, lol.

JJsMum · January 2014

My boys are 2 years and 2 months apart. I love that they are playing together now! For what it's worth though, I don't think the age gap matters as much. My brother and I are 3.5 years apart (as are DH and his sister) and we have great relationships. I've always gone with, try when I feel ready. We are already trying for #3. I'm not worrying about Christmas babies (although I would love a spring/summer baby). DS #1 is a December baby and DS#2 a January baby, and everything works out just fine

Mom2anAngel2 · January 2014

We want our children to be close in age. Of course my loss history has not been too kind to us. We would have had children 18 months apart, but we had our second loss on Christmas Eve. As soon as we are cleared to try again, we will start trying. I don't think that you can have children too close in age, I am just hoping that they are not too far apart for us. I wish could plan the spacing, but I will take them anyway I can at this point.

OhBaby+2013 · January 2014

@mom2anangel2 sorry for your loss

SarahBBowers · January 2014

My hubby wants to wait a while before getting knocked up again....Me? I'd get pregnant now but I'm still breastfeeding and no AF yet! I'm not on any bc so I'm hoping as soon as my cycle returns DH will be on board to start trying again!

dreemkin84 · January 2014

We'll I was going to have one in July but had a mc. Now, I'm probably going to try for another dec/jan baby. I really enjoyed the timing of everything and I still want them to be close in age. I'm just not mentally ready to try again right now.

OhBaby+2013 · January 2014

@dreemkin84 I'm sorry for your loss. You will know when the time is right. @michieu79 I'm with you. I'm not getting any younger but if I was 3 years sounds good to me.

this decaf life · January 2014

We aren't positive about having one more but I do keep thinking about timing just in case. We find out where we're moving in June and so we'll probably at least make a decision shortly there after, we move back to the US for at least a couple months June 2015 so that's the earliest we'd want to have another.

My sister and I are 2 years 4 months apart and we get along pretty well now but we've definitely had some huge ups & downs in our relationship so I'm not going to put too much into worrying about the gap. For us it is more the if we have another one versus the when. I'm not worried about the gap, I'm worried I won't want to do it all again once DD gets really easy.

Mom2anAngel2 · January 2014

@dreemkin84 I am sorry for your loss. I was also due in July and am now hoping for a Dec/Jan baby. Mentally I am ready, but we were advised to wait. I will not be cleared until March. Definitely take your time. It is very important to be mentally prepared. GL. I hope we both get our rainbow babies soon.

mellie86041 · January 2014

Initially, I wanted a 3 year gap between DD and a sibling. But since her bday is the same week as Christmas, (And DH's bday is 2 weeks before, and mine is 2 weeks after) that would not be ideal! So DH and I decided we would do everything in our power to aim for a summer baby next time around. Now we've just got to decided if we're going to start trying later this year (for a 2.5 year gap) or next year (for 3.5 year gap). Part of me wants to just see what happens!

Personally, I have never been close with my sister, and we're 2.5 years apart. But that has to do with our very different personalities, not necessarily our ages. However, my mom has said that we were really close when we were very young, but once we both started daycare and/or school that changed a lot since we had other kids around to play with and weren't just stuck with each other. I was always a lot closer with my older cousin (1.5 years) and my younger brother (6 year).

glamourgirl729 · January 2014

I actually was debating this for awhile. I wanted them to be 2 grades apart in school, and I didn't want a winter baby again. So the plan was to wait until this summer to start trying. However, I just felt ready and couldn't wait to have another. DH and I are also older so that helped with decision in case we want a bigger family. Also, was worrying, what if I didn't get preggo quickly this summer, or something happens and then they wind up being farther apart in age. So, figured if we started in January and I got pregnant quickly I would have an autumn baby which would be great! If I didn't get preggo in the time frame for me to have an October or November baby then we would wait so we didn't have a winter baby. Literally made up my mind in a week and said whatever happens, that'll make my decision. And after all that, I'm happy to say we are preggo! I guess it was meant to be! EDD is October 5th! I'm hoping all goes well. We are excited, and love the season baby will be due! So, I say go for it whenever you feel ready and whatever will be will be : )

glamourgirl729 · January 2014

Jcar2 thanks and congrats too!! I was wondering who from the January 2013 moms group was due in October and in the October 2014 moms group!

URMySunshine77 · January 2014

DH and I always imagined having one, so we waited to TTC until I was 34. We got a lot of travel out of our system before children since we didn't necessarily want to wait until retirement.

Now that we consider TTC for #2, I feel pressured to start sooner than later because of my age. I am 36 now. However, if I were younger, I would love 2.5 years' difference in age.

@dreemkin84 and @Mom2anAngel2: I am so sorry to hear of your losses. Sending hugs to both of you.

JJsMum · January 2014

glamourgirl729 said:

Jcar2 thanks and congrats too!! I was wondering who from the January 2013 moms group was due in October and in the October 2014 moms group!

I'm joining you guys in the October 2014 group too

Due 10/10! Congrats to both of you!

glamourgirl729 · January 2014

Yaaaay!! Thanks JJsMum and Talkativ15 and congrats too!!

Struggling to Decide When to TTC #2

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