Comment Made @ Fertility Clinic....?!?!?

jenfer916 · January 2014

I was checking in at my Fertility clinic a couple of weeks ago and the receptionist said when referring to our 1st IVF cycle as the time "when we'll have no life". (!) So I guess I'm asking all the ladies who have gone through IVF how much truth is in that comment?

Lady2010 · January 2014

Hi - that was a really insensitive / rude comment she made. Yes, it does occupy a part of your mind (as it did with me) and it is a pain to go in for the every other day bloodwork and ultrasound and then wait for the call. But it certainly did not make me feel like I had no life.

The only time I really felt like it was controlling our life was when I had to miss the 1st bday party of my best friend's daughter - it was right around the time our ER was going to be and since it was out of town we just couldn't commit to it. I felt terrible but she completely understood.

I still did most things I normally do - with the exception of regular exercise - I just got really bloated and uncomfortable so the last thing I wanted to do was go to the gym.

Good luck with your cycle!

ksgsmu · January 2014

Well it did consume my life... but what part of TTC doesn't really? You do have tons of appointments so your schedule is not your own. I had to do shots in the mornings and evening between certain times and so that limited my social life a tiny bit. But honestly it wasn't too different from an IUI cycle if you have ever done that. I think the hardest part for me was trying to plan for the egg retrieval as you don't know exactly what day it will be on so I had to make sure I didn't have any big work meetings scheduled etc for that time period just in case. The good news is it is just a few weeks of inconvenience and hopefully it will all be worth it in the end!

itsmevkb · January 2014

I wouldn't quite go so far as to say you have no life, it's just that a lot of your schedule is not longer your own. I had a lot of early morning appointments before work and then you don't have a firm date for your retrieval or the transfer so it's all sort of up in the air and awkward if you have important things going on at work and you don't want to announce what you're doing to everyone. I remember I originally wanted to do our IVF in May but couldn't because my husband had a work commitment he couldn't get out of and we just couldn't risk the transfer being then because he was required to be there for that. I'm assuming the FET we plan on doing over the summer will be easier but same with that, we won't know exactly when the transfer will be (or if there will even be one) and I just hate having things be in limbo.

My advice with all fertility treatments is just take it one step at a time.

jenfer916 · January 2014

So here's another question: Did you ladies tell your places of employment? If so, did you feel there was no way around it? If not, how difficult was it due to no one knowing?

We have our nurse teach tomorrow and I'm waiting on that before I decide. Would love to hear others experiences. I personally rather not tell anyone.

chucktgirl · January 2014

If you want to give her the benefit of the doubt, you can assume that she was just trying to issue a friendly warning that you've got a challenging, time-involved process coming up. My IVF cycles didn't make me have no life, but it certainly changed a lot of "normality."

I personally did not tell my boss specifically what I was going through, only that I had some "medical issues" to take care of. She is very sympathetic and didn't inquire further. I understand some places of employment will have to know the full truth, in order to be flexible enough with the time off you'll need.

Lady2010 · January 2014

When we first began with testing and IUIs I ultimately did tell my immediate boss since I was frequently (ie several times a week) needing to come in late, step into a conference room to take a call, or work from home in the morning and then go in after the IUI. I chose to let my boss know so she wouldn't think I was interviewing, etc.

As it turns out, several months later (in Nov) the company had a change in strategy and restructured - and as a result my role as well as my entire team (including my boss) were eliminated. I am currently not working - though looking for a new job (and have some very good leads). This being said, I do not believe that my transparency impacted my job being eliminated. Prior to this point, since my boss knew, she was flexible in my scheduling meetings later in the morning, etc.

For my first IVF round in Dec, I wasn't working and while it was frustrating not to work, it did make some aspects easier (not having to go out and buy new work clothes, not having to worry about planning my work schedule around appts - though my clinic gives priority to IVF patients - lab opens at 7:20am, bloodwork needs to be done by 8:45am, and early ultrasounds are reserved for IVF patients - all great when you are working) But it would have been nice to be working as it would have provided a great distraction and keep me from obsessing (which I did at times).

It definitely is a personal decision, and it depends on how you feel about the company, your boss, and of course the type of office it is.

Good luck!

ksgsmu · January 2014

I get to run my own schedule at work so I didn't have to tell anyone but i had to rearrange meetings and be a bit elusive with family and coworkers. My cycle ended up getting cancelled so I didn't get to ET but my plan was just to call in sick.

HeathernSteven · January 2014

I only eluded to medical issues that required testing at specific times. My boss being female i did indicate it was a "hormonal" issue, which wasn't bad cause when I had to go for my laprascopoy she wasn't surprised when I took a week of work and then had to reschedule because I got the Monday before appt telling me the DR was going to be on vacation....my boss was pretty understanding about it - without knowing the specifics

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