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March 2014 Moms
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Was it planned?

DRFleenerDRFleener member
in March 2014 Moms
Wow, new low in things to say to pregnant women...my allergy and Asthama doctor just asked me if my pregnancy was planned. I should have said no just to see his reaction for inappropriate questions!
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Re: Was it planned?

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  • BabiesFTWBabiesFTW member
    Even my MIL asked me this when I was pregnant with DD#1. People can be so rude.
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  • katieg314katieg314 member
    I got this a lot too... Sooo rude. Also, DH and I have been married 5 years and I got ask several times If it "took us awhile to get pregnant." I think this is just people's way of trying to find out if our twins are spontaneous. (Hint: Identical twins are always spontaneous. 1 egg.)
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  • kaking78kaking78 member
    I don't see why the allergist needs to know but I'm surprised my OB didn't ask.  Seems like they would want to know if you were taking care of yourself, taking prenatals, etc. before the BFP.
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  • angelsnightangelsnight member
    I want to say it's protocol for some doctors to ask, to find out if you need help dealing with your pregnancy in case it wasn't planned...to make sure you're getting the proper prenatal care, etc.  However I wouldn't expect that from an allergist, probably just a family doc and/or OB.  From anyone else, it's a very rude question.
    Lilypie - (fm2j)

    Lilypie - (YesX)

     My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks.  Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!

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  • PerkyErkyPerkyErky member
    I would expect that question from a dr early on in a pregnancy, like others have said - to see if you may have engaged in risky behavior early on, do you need information about resources, etc. But at this point in pregnancy I find it surprising.

    It is ALWAYS an inappropriate question from non-medical people (family, friends, acquaintances, strangers)
    Married 11/23/11, TTC starting 10/12, BFP#1 11/30/12, Adoption of stepson finalized 03/19/13,Loss of our daughter at 20w4d due to incompetent cervix 03/27/13, BFP#2 06/28/13, DS2 born 3/1/14.

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  • katieg314katieg314 member
    I would think most doctors (OBs) Willis just ask about the specific behavior they are interested in (drugs, alcohol, etc) rather than try to guess based on whether your pregnancy was planned. Definitely seems like the allergist was just being nosy.
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  • sebullowssebullows member
    This is the first thing my dad said when we told him we're having a baby, "are you sure this is what you wanted?" Uhhhhh... It's a little late now if it's not dad. (Yes, it was very much planned).
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  • KariB509KariB509 member
    Wow.  You can expect other dumbasses to ask that but your doctor???
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  • legallygingerlegallyginger member
    I'm so thankful I haven't been asked this so far. I would probably get super bitchy. 

    I feel like people tiptoed around it by asking "So (long pause)... are you excited?" Like they're waiting for you to say no, it was a complete surprise or that you're devastated or something. 
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  • BabyVDMBabyVDM member
    Sometimes it's a happy accident.  Sometimes it's just an accident.  Sometimes you wait 3 years until you are successful. 

    I have had the question before.  I don't think it's rude.  A bit out of the blue sort of strange thing to ask. 

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  • HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    I got this question a lot early on.  An it's actually a yes and no answer.  I had just stopped taking my BC but we weren't actively trying. It just happened quicker than we expected.
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  • recline84recline84 member
    I'm getting a little annoyed at my 12 the old niece asking me this. I've skated it so far (and told her it's not polite to ask) but I know it's because her rude parents talk about us behind our backs!

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  • DRFleenerDRFleener member
    Ya'll, I have been in meetings since I got back to work but reading some of your responses had me crying/laughing out loud in my car!!
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  • coreyelizcoreyeliz member
    I've had this sort of question a few times, and all but the first time I responded by asking if they were really that interested in my sex life. Pretty much ended the conversation right there. Cuz let's face it, that's what they're all asking. And they don't need to know what we're doing in bed.

    Some people just suck.
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  • elliebean14elliebean14 member
    I haven't been asked this question (yet), but I did get "You're married...right?" from someone a few months ago.
    People often ask if we're excited about the baby, which seems like the usual way to avoid directly asking the "Was it planned?" question.
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  • DRFleenerDRFleener member
    @mndynitetragdy this is how I felt...ok, you are not my sister or mom, how about just "congrats" and how's your asthma...
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  • Khope87Khope87 member
    Yep! I've had this question a few times now! I'm 26, married for 2 years and yet it's still pretty young round here to have a child so people seem to always ask..... I find it really offensive! Especially having already discussed how excited both me and DH were. It was planned (although as someone else mentioned it happened for us very very quickly!!) but even if it was a happy mistake it makes no difference to the outcome if we are both delighted
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