Possibly controversial.

stlmomma27 · January 2014

~DELETED~

I hate how judgmental this forum can be and how everyone ALWAYS jumps the OP.

DONE.

cedenton · January 2014

I think there are a lot of unanswered questions here...
Was he abusive? Did she already have kids with him? Did he know about the abortions? Did he pressure her into them? Did he pressure her into not using contraceptives?

Some of those answers would probably color my opinion of the situation. If she knew she didn't want to be with him and refused to take precautions I'd probably be judgy. BUT, bottom line is her body/her decision.

You are more than welcome to no longer be friends with her because you feel your morals don't mesh.

gollywollypog · January 2014

Are you a Christian? I am. Have you ever done anything wrong or immoral? I have. I sin every day. Thank God He forgives me when I ask Him to. It's not our job to judge other people for their past. I am very pro life and abortion breaks my heart. But to be mad about someones pregnancy, and to be mad at them for their happiness about it? That's not healthy.

You don't know how much she's changed. You also don't know the battle that may be raging in her soul over her past decisions. You just don't know.

SJandVA · January 2014

I get where you are coming from. But you need to quietly forgive her and let it go. Be happy for her in the here and now.

Rhomonk · January 2014

Yes, it sounds totally bitchy.

And I agree with the previous posters.

BatDaughter4Eva · January 2014

There could be reasons you don't know of for her previous abortions. Honestly, it's her right to choose anyway.

Megispreg · January 2014

It makes you sound extremely naive and judgemental. If you're against abortion, shouldn't you be happy that she kept this pregnancy? The whole thing is really just none of your business.

CoUnTryBB1 · January 2014

I agree this is a controversial topic. However, it is her right to make these decisions. If you don't want to be her friend that is your choice as well. I don't think being angry with her will do you any good.

twinkletoes3126 · January 2014

I really try to not judge other peoples decisions, especially when I don't know all of the facts. There could be hundreds of reasons why she was not ready for children before but is now. The bottom line is, it's her body and her decision. I would try and cut her some slack and be excited for her that she is going to be a mother soon.

gollywollypog · January 2014

@2ag. I lean to the right. So....

ccam · January 2014

Would I do what she did? No. But to each their own. It sounds like you might not know the full story either though.

ks3pink · January 2014

I get your reaction but agree with GWP that it is not your place to judge. I often come off as judgy because I can get so riled up about things and I think that is only human. That said if you truly cannot move on then it may be best to cut ties and let her live her life.

stlmomma27 · January 2014

SJandVA said:

I get where you are coming from. But you need to quietly forgive her and let it go. Be happy for her in the here and now.

Forgive someone who has killed two innocent babies in the past? I think not.

stlmomma27 · January 2014

DELETED

stlmomma27 · January 2014

DELETED

katiejo1216 · January 2014

I understand that abortion is a sensitive topic but what's done is done and you feeling like it was a bad decision she made however long ago isn't going to change anything.

Do you remember how exciting it was to find out the sex of your baby? To share it with friends and family and to be excited about the next chapter in your life? If you can't be happy with her than you definitely just need to separate yourself from her. She is allowed to feel joy and to celebrate this child regardless of any decisions she made in her life.

I also think it is funny that you say you know the full story but in your original post said that you 'believe they were with her first husband'.

gollywollypog · January 2014

reece0099 said:

SJandVA said:

I get where you are coming from. But you need to quietly forgive her and let it go. Be happy for her in the here and now.

Forgive someone who has killed two innocent babies in the past? I think not.

Are you a Christian?

@reece0099

stlmomma27 · January 2014

DELETED

rainedrops117 · January 2014

You don't have control over other ppls life's decisions. You say she's your friend, then be a friend. Even if it's hard. Stop with the judgmental nonsense, it's not healthy for anyone. Sure you have your views, but to make it personal is immature. IMO. I'm against a lot of things, but I agree to disagree and be about my business.

Maybe being with this guy has changed her whole life's perspective, maybe she had an epiphany... who knows??? But children are precious and a gift - a birth should be celebrated no matter what kind of past a parent has.

poppyseed1017 · January 2014

This is none of your business and you are weirdly over-invested in a situation that literally has nothing to do with you.

poppyseed1017 · January 2014

reece0099 said:

SJandVA said:

I get where you are coming from. But you need to quietly forgive her and let it go. Be happy for her in the here and now.

Forgive someone who has killed two innocent babies in the past? I think not.

??

You sound crazy.

gollywollypog · January 2014

reece0099 said:

CourtandNate said:

It has been a while since someone posted something controversial! lol

In response, yes I think you are being slightly bitchy. You are absolutely allowed to have whatever beliefs you choose. I have to agree with the rest of the clan that it boils down to being her business and not yours.

Good luck and I hope you come to peace with it!

gollywollypog said:

reece0099 said:

SJandVA said:

I get where you are coming from. But you need to quietly forgive her and let it go. Be happy for her in the here and now.

Forgive someone who has killed two innocent babies in the past? I think not.

Are you a Christian?
@reece0099

Yes. Why?

Because what if Jesus looked at your past and said He could never forgive you because *insert whatever here*.

Why are you trying to play God?

Look at this account of Jesus in John 8

8 1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.

2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

11 “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

BluepointToasted · January 2014

Gwp, I am NOT a Christian, but I love you. I have such a hard time with hate and judgementslness (a real word?) in Jesus' name. That is so not what he preached

Rhomonk · January 2014

reece0099 said:

SJandVA said:

I get where you are coming from. But you need to quietly forgive her and let it go. Be happy for her in the here and now.

Forgive someone who has killed two innocent babies in the past? I think not.

Ok, are you just trying to stir shit up to get the board more active?

She doesn't need your forgiveness, who the heck are you? Her pregnancies and abortions have nothing to do with you.

AmySmolos · January 2014

My thought is she is probably hurting enough over her choice to abort. The few women I know who have had abortions have a hard time waking from the decision. Now going trough with a pregnancy, hearing the heart beat, feeling the baby move and kick, then delivering her child will all be reminders to her if her choice. I don't know her but my guess is she is probably going through her own regrets and "unforgiveness" of herself. I do not agree with abortion but I could not hate or hold that against someone else. It's not my place.

ccam · January 2014

reece0099 said:

ccam said:
Would I do what she did? No. But to each their own. It sounds like you might not know the full story either though.

Yes, I do know the full story.

You said that you don't know who the abortions were with nor do you know the reasoning behind them (didn't want anymore kids or didn't want any with him). So sounds like no, you do not know the full story.

nicnac817 · January 2014

While I can understand why you feel the way you do about her past choices, I don't think that it's fair to carry that over into her current pregnancy. Would her having another abortion be better? Would that make it fair? Maybe she should have been banned from having more children because she chose abortion previously?

The issue here is that you are upset with her earlier choices. You don't agree with it and that's your right. What's not ok is the fact that your are projecting those feelings of anger onto her current pregnancy. Why don't you focus on the beautiful life that is flourishing inside of her. If you aren't able to move on then suggest ending the friendship all together. For everyone's sake.

NeneCakies · January 2014

The original question was do your feelings on the matter make you sound like a total bitch, and so I think you have your answer in case you think we're being harsh. I hope you are able to soften your stance to preserve your friendship and rejoice in the birth of this baby. If not, then best you part ways. She might choose to anyway if your holier than thou attitude keeps showing.

jodegaard · January 2014

I'm just going to say I agree with much that has already been said, especially from @gollywollypog.

@reece0099, I'm not sure what her past choices have to do with her current one. Should she be sad about this pregnancy instead?

You do not have the power to forgive her, she did nothing to you. You do have the power to either end the friendship if her past is such a hindrance or love the way Jesus asks us to.

austenfan919 · January 2014

I agree with @gollywollypog. I am pro-life, too, but I deserve the same punishment for my sins as your friend does. So I am grateful for God's grace.

If you struggle(d) with infertility, I could see thinking it is unfair that she gets another chance to be pregnant if it was really tough for you. But even that is something you would really know is about you and not about her.

poppyseed1017 · January 2014

Are you serious?

You asked everyone if you were being a bitch or not. Everyone said "yeah, pretty much", and you get mad and delete? Lol. Ok. Evaluate yourself, OP. The only judgmental person in this thread was you.

gollywollypog · January 2014

reece0099 said:

~DELETED~

I hate how judgmental this forum can be and how everyone ALWAYS jumps the OP.

DONE.

huh. And here we all thought YOU were being the judgemental one. You really showed us!

NeneCakies · January 2014

Well that was exciting. I guess we were supposed to give her permission to be a bitch and condemn her friend.

I think not.

Rhomonk · January 2014

See how much it sucks to be judged by people? Kettle, meet pot.

Megispreg · January 2014

This might be the most ridiculous thing I've seen around here, and that's really saying something. We are obviously so mean and don't know her lyfe. How dare we answer her question! OP, get a grip.

BatDaughter4Eva · January 2014

YOU said this was going to be controversial, and YOU asked if you were being bitchy. Nobody rallied people against you. You've been around long enough to know that this was going to stir shit.

jodegaard · January 2014

Well that was weird...

stlmomma27 · January 2014

CourtandNate said:

~DELETED~

I hate how judgmental this forum can be and how everyone ALWAYS jumps the OP.

DONE.

I really don't view this board as judgmental as some of the others. And maybe in our hayday of posts it could be. I remember being flamed quite early on, but its the beauty of the forum. I don't think anyone is jumped. When you asked if you were being bitchy, you already knew there was a good chance. Just know there will be a few of us still lingering if you choose to stay around! Hope you don't jump ship!!

Lol, I'm not going anywhere. A few comments aren't making me leave.

stlmomma27 · January 2014

CourtandNate said:

~DELETED~

I hate how judgmental this forum can be and how everyone ALWAYS jumps the OP.

DONE.

I really don't view this board as judgmental as some of the others. And maybe in our hayday of posts it could be. I remember being flamed quite early on, but its the beauty of the forum. I don't think anyone is jumped. When you asked if you were being bitchy, you already knew there was a good chance. Just know there will be a few of us still lingering if you choose to stay around! Hope you don't jump ship!!

Lol, I'm not going anywhere. A few comments aren't making me leave.

stlmomma27 · January 2014

Wait, what? I wasn't going to touch this post with a ten foot pole because I had zero nice things to say, but seriously? You've been around long enough to has an idea of how your post was going to go down. No need to get all dramatic and DD your post because of opinions that you asked for...

I am not being dramatic at all. I wanted opinions and I got them. I chose to delete because I was tired of all the VERY harsh comments. No need for everyone to jump in on this after it was deleted.

stlmomma27 · January 2014

Possibly controversial.

Re: Possibly controversial.

8 1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

11 “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

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