Really! Wacko advice

ariel8200 · January 2014

Apparently eating jolly ranchers is going to give my baby diabetes. So far this is the most wacko thing I've been told. I'm sure there is worse out there! Feel free to share the wacko advice you've been given.

mamaloaf · January 2014

I was standing too close to the work microwave and 'cooking my baby.'

[Deleted User] · January 2014

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jnnfrrose6 · January 2014

Last time around a co-worker in all seriousness and concern for me told me to stop reaching for a stack of papers that was over my head because I was going to strangle the baby...

Skeemer · January 2014

This may not be exactly advice but my boss did tell me this -

"The ultrasound probably wouldn't pick up if you were having twins because they would share the same heartbeat."

I kid you not. 8-|

ksuRN09 · January 2014

I'm eating a jolly rancher right now. It helps my nausea!

[Deleted User] · January 2014

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Skeemer · January 2014

LiteraChick said:

Skeemer said:

This may not be exactly advice but my boss did tell me this -
"The ultrasound probably wouldn't pick up if you were having twins because they would share the same heartbeat."
I kid you not. 8-|

Your BOSS? SMH.

Yeah. He's like Michael Scott except none of the charm.

BW1088 · January 2014

Don't use Purell sanitizer wipes to clean your desk, might be bad for baby. Also, tights might cut off circulation to the baby, so best to avoid those, too.

ariel8200 · January 2014

ksuRN09 said:
I'm eating a jolly rancher right now. It helps my nausea!

That's why I have been eating them. It helps with cotton mouth also.

hab83 · January 2014

LiteraChick said:
Don't put your arms above your head, you'll strangle your child with it's umbilical cord. Duh.

How the fuck do you get dressed? Ha!

carolinecutie · January 2014

kam3100 said:

I'm eating a jolly rancher right now. It helps my nausea!
That's why I have been eating them. It helps with cotton mouth also.

I've been super craving sweets like jawbreakers, Gobstoppers, etc. Somehow, having something to suck on like that is something I need right now??

I do worry ~a bit~ about the sugar and the impact on my teeth, but other than that...

SweetTamale38 · January 2014

But if you eat too many RED Jolly Ranchers -- your baby will come out red.

Ylvelill · January 2014

hab83 said:

LiteraChick said:
Don't put your arms above your head, you'll strangle your child with it's umbilical cord. Duh.
How the fuck do you get dressed? Ha!

Button up shirts duh!

and make sure to have someone wash/brunch your hair!

tealowl · January 2014

"You're not supposed to be doing that!"

I was slowly jogging on a treadmill. I was like, 9 weeks pregnant.

violet615 · January 2014

I was told that women get post partum depression bc of how bad their bodies look after delivery. Everybody thinks it's hormones but it's the realization that they're never going to look as good.
I kid you not, a guy said this to me. He was an expert bc he had two kids with his ex wife. That's a whole new level of stupid if you ask me.

Csltdk · January 2014

What are you going to do with your dogs when the baby comes? What if they eat her? ....... They are siberian huskies not wolves I think we can handle it thanks

mamaloaf · January 2014

Ylvelill said:

Don't put your arms above your head, you'll strangle your child with it's umbilical cord. Duh.
How the fuck do you get dressed? Ha!
Button up shirts duh! and make sure to have someone wash/brunch your hair!

You can still get your shirts buttoned?!??

(

BPer · January 2014

One of the professors in our office (who literally invents medical devices, and runs our center for human research subjects) said that I was going to regret eating my Twix bar the other day. I have no idea what his reasoning was. But...

I regret nothing.

littlemissmarla · January 2014

violet615 said:
I was told that women get post partum depression bc of how bad their bodies look after delivery. Everybody thinks it's hormones but it's the realization that they're never going to look as good.
I kid you not, a guy said this to me. He was an expert bc he had two kids with his ex wife. That's a whole new level of stupid if you ask me.

Well I can see why it's his EX-WIFE

purpleXdandelion · January 2014

violet615 said:
I was told that women get post partum depression bc of how bad their bodies look after delivery. Everybody thinks it's hormones but it's the realization that they're never going to look as good.
I kid you not, a guy said this to me. He was an expert bc he had two kids with his ex wife. That's a whole new level of stupid if you ask me.

Wow. He sounds like a winner.
ETA..for some reason, this is rubbing me the wrong way, and really pissing me off. The more I think about it, the more I wanna throat punch him. What a asshat.

hab83 · January 2014

My dad asked me if I was making sure I remembered to put cocoa butter on my belly every day to prevent stretch marks. Mmmkay, and how many kids have you personally given birth to? None because you're a MAN. Shut your pie hole!

BoraBoraBaby · January 2014

Wonder what these gobstoppers I'm popping are going to do to my baby. It might come out grapey.

AutumnBonfire · January 2014

SweetTamale38 said:

But if you eat too many RED Jolly Ranchers -- your baby will come out red.

Uh oh. I wanted Jolly Ranchers to help with nausea and DH bought me a bag of just reds. My baby is in trouble.

ariel8200 · January 2014

SweetTamale38 said:
But if you eat too many RED Jolly Ranchers -- your baby will come out red.

In that case I'm stuck with a green sour apple baby. That's okay though, If it's a boy I will name him Hulk and if it's a girl I will name her Apple.

cuntasaurusrex · January 2014

I want nothing more right now than a cherry Jolly Rancher.

TugboatSheila · January 2014

This isn't necessarily wacko but every single time I see or speak to my dad he says "make sure you do EVERYTHING the doctor tells you. EV-ER-Y-THING!"

Jbosarge85 · January 2014

When I was pregnant with DD my mom told me to rub my nipples with a washcloth to tough them up. Also heard the no hands over your head thing.

Ylvelill · January 2014

Now I want a twix... Wait make that two! One for each baby

And you are right, I can't button my shirts any more :-S

Skeemer · January 2014

violet615 said:

I was told that women get post partum depression bc of how bad their bodies look after delivery. Everybody thinks it's hormones but it's the realization that they're never going to look as good. I kid you not, a guy said this to me. He was an expert bc he had two kids with his ex wife. That's a whole new level of stupid if you ask me.

Emphasis on EX WIFE. *sigh* Oh how she is missing out...
8-|

Jbosarge85 · January 2014

Mease8 said:

Linzlu214 said:

When I was pregnant with DD my mom told me to rub my nipples with a washcloth to tough them up. Also heard the no hands over your head thing.
Same! My mil told me in front of other people that there were things I could do to toughen up my nipples. I filed it under "awkward in law conversations."

I'm cringing just thinking about that...I know my nipples are going to be more sore than they are now, but let me enjoy the last few months!

Yeah i didn't do it. I was like, "Are you for real?" My boobs already feel like they are going to fall off.

Eener31 · January 2014

Csltdk said:

What are you going to do with your dogs when the baby comes? What if they eat her? ....... They are siberian huskies not wolves I think we can handle it thanks

Ugh, this is one of my biggest pet peeves. I really hate how some people think that our pets are disposable or that pet owners only get pets to fill some void until they have kids. I feel sorry for the person who says this to me about my cats, which I'm sure will happen at some point.

[Deleted User] · January 2014

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Eener31 · January 2014

JP27 said:

This isn't necessarily wacko but every single time I see or speak to my dad he says "make sure you do EVERYTHING the doctor tells you. EV-ER-Y-THING!"

OMG fucking parents. My mom did the opposite of this yesterday and I wanted to strangle her through the phone (hormones, anyone?). It was the "don't listen to any advice I didn't get when I was pregnant 34 years ago" crap.

She asked how I was sleeping and I said fine, but I miss sleeping on my back. She didn't know what I was talking about, so I explained that it's supposed to be best for your circulation if you sleep on your left side. Her reaction? "That's ridiculous. No one told me that when I was pregnant. I slept however I wanted." My response: "Well, that was a long time ago. Medical knowledge has changed since you were last pregnant." Her answer: "Listen, when I was pregnant, I read Dr. Spock, and then we found out he didn't have any kids, so there you go."

seells · January 2014

My DHs grandparents are vegan and they told me eating ice cream would give the baby diabetes.

ariel8200 · January 2014

My boss told me not to reach above my head too. I blurted out 'That's just stupid' luckily she just laughed and said 'Yeah, my Grandmother is the one that told me that'

abunai523 · January 2014

I haven't gotten any nutso advice yet, but now that I am pregnant every time my mom and I discuss pregnancy/baby/kids she laughs this pure "revenge" laugh. I know it's not in my head, even my dad called her on it!

MonkeyJD · January 2014

MIL told us that we shouldn't have any genetic testing done because 20 years ago she knew someone who was told that her child absolutely had Downs (he doesn't) & they should abort. Um no. Medical testing has improved a lot in 20 years and we are comfortable with the low false positive rate. While we are a family who prays, we don't believe that God would give us access to this knowledge if he wanted us to sit back with our hands over our eyes. So no, we are not simply going to sit back & pray that everything is ok. We are going to do the testing AND pray that everything is ok.

beff12 · January 2014

LiteraChick said:

Eener31 said:

Csltdk said:

What are you going to do with your dogs when the baby comes? What if they eat her? ....... They are siberian huskies not wolves I think we can handle it thanks

Ugh, this is one of my biggest pet peeves. I really hate how some people think that our pets are disposable or that pet owners only get pets to fill some void until they have kids. I feel sorry for the person who says this to me about my cats, which I'm sure will happen at some point.

Agreed. Or when some know-it-all loudmouth tries telling me I'm going to want to give my pets away when LO comes along. I am so offended by the idea that I'd just give away my "babies" because I can't be bothered with juggling all of it.
--------------------

An old lady at church said "well I guess this means your dog will be replaced!" False. It means our dog will have a new BFF to play with. Worst case scenario is that the dog licks the baby...OH NO.

rach1285 · January 2014

Being told that I should be eating more! I had a huge orange, coconut almond granola bar, bottle of juice, and a bowl of cottage cheese with pineapple. Would you like me to add a cupcake? An extra 300 calories is the equivalent of a snack a day!

youreggoispreggo · January 2014

Jbosarge85 said:

When I was pregnant with DD my mom told me to rub my nipples with a washcloth to tough them up. Also heard the no hands over your head thing.

What the hell?! The thought of this almost just made me nauseous with pain.

Really! Wacko advice

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