I am so devastated. I never saw this coming. I ended up in the ER on Saturday because I started bleeding. It was a bad day to start with. DH and I had been arguing all day, lots of crying on my end, so I took a drive to my parents house to remove myself for the situation for a little while. When I came back home, I went to use the bathroom upstairs and there was some blood on my underwear and when I wiped. After that, it was gone. I started crying even more out of fear, went a laid down to calm down a bit. I debated about 5 min if I should go to the ER or not and decided to go.
My BP was pretty high which very unusual...it's normally pretty low...but they did a transvaginal and transabdominal ultrasound on me only because I hadn't had one at the OB yet. I should have been 9w and 6d. They told me I only measured 6w and 2d, he didn't tell me if there was a heartbeat (which I know can be hard to find that early) or fetus, BUT everything looked fine. I tried telling the ER doc that I should be one day from 10w based on my LMP and he just told me to follow up with my OB. At that point I was relieved that he said everything looked okay but still had a feeling that something wasn't right...which lead to more crying all weekend anytime I thought about my baby.
Today, I get to work and tried to move my OB appt from 01/28 to today and they didn't seem the least bit concerned that I had been bleeding on the weekend and was told to keep my appt for Tuesday afternoon. I know that it's only one day but I just needed to know what was going on. Fast forward through the office meeting, my coworker (who is 22 weeks pregnant) says to me "OMG what's wrong with your baby?!" which immediately started the water works. I'm assuming my manager mentioned something to her to say some "encouraging" words because she's had miscarriages before. I just couldn't stop crying, so I locked myself in the bathroom until I could get it together. I used the bathroom and saw that I started bleeding again. Que the tears. I call my OB again and told them that I needed to be seen ASAP and I wasn't going back to the ER which the lady suggested. I pretty much had to harass them to get my appt today. If I get pregnant again, I will not be returning to their office. Anywho, I get to my appt, the tech does a TVUS and says that she's measuring the same as the ER and the fetus never developed. So I had a missed MC. I hate that I'm still having some of the pregnancy symptoms. The only ones that I've noticed have changed are my boobs fit in my bra again and my back doesn't hurt anymore.
The dr gave me the option to do a 3rd ultrasound on Friday, which we chose. But DH and I started thinking that if there hasn't been a difference between Saturday and today and there's no fetus or heartbeat, it's best to just let go and move on the best we can so I'll be cancelling my appt. The bleeding only seems to start when my BP is up and I've been crying which have been the two cases. He also gave me the options to do a D&C, pill, or naturally miscarry which we have yet to decide. I'm thinking of going with letting my body let go on it's own.
I've been a complete mess today mess and I really need T&Ps right now ladies. I deeply sympathize with each and every one of you ladies and this is something that no one should ever have to go through. As long as I'm keeping myself distracting, I'm not crying. I'm somewhat thankful that I wasn't further along or I would have be a emotional wreck for a while.
ETA: Sorry if some of this doesn't make since. My head hurts right now.