How often do you go out?

Juliebird8307 · January 2014

DH asks to get a babysitter at least every other weekend so that we can go out. I feel like this is too often and he needs to realize that now that we have a child we can't go out that often. He has always been the one in the relationship to want to go out a lot. I more often want to say home. So I'm not sure if I am thinking this way because I do not like to go out or if he should realize now that we cannot go out every weekend. What do you think? I feel like once you have kid, most weekends should be at home. Plus, I just started back to work three weeks ago. I already hate leaving DD for workdays so I don't like to do it that often on the weekend.

JamieWM · January 2014

I personally haven't felt like leaving LO behind so we have never had a babysitter. Next week DH is graduating from the Police Academy and my mom may watch LO for a couple of hours after the ceremony...we will see if Mama is ready

rheavner · January 2014

We have only been away a couple of times without DD. We have a night away scheduled in March. Very nervous to leave her.

kimberlymacrae · January 2014

My DH and I are hermits so we stay in as often as we can. We will pick up food, like Olive Garden, etc. and have a date night at home. But we just don't like going out.

I know when I tell my DH he "can't" or "shouldn't" do something he wants to do it even more.

I think it is important to find a balance between you and your DH. If going out is "his thing" then you can come to a compromise. Maybe one weekend he goes out with some buddies, then the next weekend you go out with him, then the next weekend you have people over. You don't have to lose your social life because of a child, if he's naturally social then you just have to work harder to fit it in.

DaisyZH · January 2014

We try to have a date night with babysitter once a month. We are kind of homebodies, I don't really think that going out every other weekend is too much. If you aren't enjoying yourself then maybe you can compromise by going down to 2 date nights and maybe an extra friend night per month for him. The important thing is that you both feel like your needs are being met.

If you are having fun though don't limit yourself just because you feel like you're "supposed" to do things a certain way now that you are parents. As long as you have a good babysitter this can be positive for your LO too if it results in happy and relaxed parents.

kimberlymacrae · January 2014

I agree with @DaisyZH, if both of you are enjoying going out 2 times, 3 times, 4 times a month... by all means DO YOUR THING. There's no "right" answer. Happy momma... happy daddy... happy baby... happy house!

I was kind of the same way about wine. I was like "Okay only a glass twice per week" but I really like wine. I really like pairing it with dinner, trying new wines out, relaxing! So if I have a glass every night and it makes me happy, who should stop me???

ajbook · January 2014

November & December each had two non-baby dates. January has had no dates. We try not to go crazy in either direction. If we have things we want to do, we look for a sitter. Next month we are going out one weekend and have one planned for March too. I say go with what keeps everyone happy in your house.

rachelstauf · January 2014

We are home bodies. We've had 3 dates since LO was born. My mom is the only one who has ever watched him.

TKtravels · January 2014

We've been going out once every week or every other week, but we have yet to get a babysitter. We just take LO with us, and we all seem to enjoy it.

I'm sure that someday I'll change my mind, but right now, I'm not keen on the idea of leaving LO with a babysitter. Part of it has to do with the fact that she won't eat from a bottle, and part of it is me just not wanting to be apart from her.

mmdd20 · January 2014

We do one kid-free dinner a month. Luckily, we have family close by to watch this kids. Right now, I prefer not to leave DD for more than a couple hours, mostly because I work full time.

I agree with PP that it really is what works best for you. I am more of a homebody than DH, so I encourage him to go out more than I do. So once or twice a week he will go to his brothers or friends to watch a game, etc. He always waits until the kids are down to go, then I get some much needed 'alone' time as well. It works for us.

thedash · January 2014

I think we have had one "date" since DD was born which was actually a trip to Ikea while the kids were with my IL's. We are not good about that but it's just our style. We are both homebodies and more likely to cook and open some wine when the kids are in bed than to get a sitter and go out.

redfallon · January 2014

We go out often, but we always take DD with us. We don't have any family around and I don't want to leave her with anyone yet. It's not a hassle to take her with us, so we haven't felt the need to do that yet, either.

kennazebrowsky · January 2014

We haven't since the baby was born but do have other kids and would go out 2 times a month. We also vacationed without the other kids.

It's healthy to get a break and renew your romance with your SO.

Af1004 · January 2014

We haven't been out without LO. I just can't leave her unless it's necessary. I have to enough for work. If I'm not working she's with me. I have a gift certificate I need to use for a massage and really wanted to see Catching Fire but can't bring myself to leave her for either one. We have taken her with us a few times though.

olga1311 · January 2014

We have a date night once a week for couple of hours and my parents watch dd. IMO it's important to have a date night once a week to nurture the relationship with DH.

Juliebird8307 · January 2014

Thanks everyone. I definitely feel like it's important to go out just the two of us. Sometimes though I feel like he asks too often to get a babysitter. Luckily, we have family close by so it isn't a big deal to have someone watch her, but I hate that I barely see her durning the week so I try to spent as much time as possible with her on the weekend. DH and I spend pretty mucj every night together, but he's the type of person that thinks that going out makes it more meaningful.

sapphire0228 · January 2014

We just had a real date night this past Saturday. We had a gift card to a steak house that we got early in pregnancy. We have each of our families really close so we leave her with either my mom or DH's parents. I wouldn't be comfortable leaving her with a babysitter that I haven't known for a very long time.

DH has gone out without me a couple of times. And I've had one night out for a friends birthday, DH stayed home with LO.

I agree with pp's you find a happy medium where you both are satisfied and happy. Good luck.

KCLeaSLP · January 2014

We go out once a week and my mom watches LO. It's a win win for us because my mom gets to spend time with her only grand baby too

Salemkitty13 · January 2014

We take DS out with us to dinner at least once a week. We had people over a lot during football season and we've gone over to friends homes also. DS has done well with this so far. If family lived close we probably would have a date night sans LO at least monthly. As pp have said you've got to do what works

RagsdaleA · January 2014

We typically take LO out with us to eat but we try to go on a date without her at least once every other week. Hubby's parents live about 30 mins away. and mine about 10 so we don't/haven't hire(d) a babysitter. I also try to do something for myself once or twice a month without LO or hubby. Typically it's my mani/pedi appt since I do them year round! As a SAHM, I never get a chance to miss LO so I enjoy being away from her for short periods of time.

llybeck · January 2014

Well SO goes out several times a week (can you tell I'm bitter?) but the two of us baby free? I think the last time we did that was for a Christmas party, so a month ago. We've gone out together like that maybe 5 times.

I would love for us to go out more, I've really been struggling with that lately. If you two are happy and baby is happy, I say keep doing it.

bumpuser10024844 · January 2014

We have gone out without LO a few times. DH's mom always watches LO. She watches him during the day while I'm at work, too, so I feel completely comfortable with her watching him.

To me, every other weekend does sound like a lot of going out, but I'm a homebody. And I think what works is different for every couple. Like you, I hate leaving LO while I'm at work, and I want to be around him allllll weekend. Try to compromise with your husband so that you still have quality time together, but don't feel like you are missing out on time with your baby.

imakeeff0rts · January 2014

We've had one date since DS was born. We go out to eat as a family twice per weekend.

stephl3055 · January 2014

We've gone out several times with her and several times by ourselves while she is at daycare. The ILs are about 5 minutes away but I'm not quite ready to leave her yet.

We both are lucky that we get quite a bit of paid vacation, so we are both taking Valentine's Day off, sending her to daycare, and we will hang out all day. We are going to get breakfast at a restaurant we've been wanting to try forever, shop, eat lunch, pick up LO, and then pick up dinner. I can't wait!

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