What Team am I On?

BBColt78 · January 2014

Besides the disjointed marriage team? DH just informed me that he now wants to find out the sex of the baby I'm stuck on not finding out. I feel like if one of us doesn't switch, we are rather dysfunctional with one of us knowing and the other not. Has anyone ever done this? We are obviously ridiculous, right?

Yes, this is my biggest problem right now

hupp0013 · January 2014

I want to find out but DH doesn't. There is no way I could keep that a secret from him if I did find out. It would also be concerning if we were able to keep a secret like that from each other. But that is just me. He doesn't put his foot a lot, so I am not finding out either. This probably isn't very helpful. I guess I just wanted to say I can relate a little bit.

cuntasaurusrex · January 2014

I think that makes you team grurple.

BBColt78 · January 2014

aliletz said:

I think that makes you team grurple.

LOL, seriously. This is not cool. I think I'll just have to give in. I cannot live with being this dysfunctional. As PP said, it's kind of a weird secret to keep. We didn't find out the first time, so that's why I feel like I should give.

cookieinva · January 2014

I know other people where one found out and the other didn't so it doesn't sound that weird to me. DH actually found out with my stepson but his (now ex-)wife didn't. During an appointment a dr accidentally spilled the beans, but otherwise they would have just gone to L&D that way. Do what works for you guys.

TurtleMonsters · January 2014

friend of mine did that- so did her 4 kids...kept dad in the dark as he wanted. not dysfunctional, just need the will power.

abundancenow · January 2014

I don't think it's dysfunctional, and probably not impossible to manage, but it is really funny!

I'd love to hear your final decision on the matter. Good luck!

Littlebean312 · January 2014

For my husban not knowing the sex is hard for him to relate to the baby. We were on different pages but really what does it matter, in the end the surprise will be what does the baby look like. Green or blue or pink your having a baby. What's more important you husbands input or knowing a few months sooner your baby is a boy or girl.
Have a talk and maybe find out together and not tell anyone.

BBColt78 · January 2014

You girls have some good ideas. I'm sure it will help DH relate better. Maybe he feels he missed that the first time around.

@abundancenow, you are right. It is starting to sound funny. Last night I was frantic about it. Luckily I'm a little more rational now!

Jillybean100 · January 2014

I have a friend where they both didn't find out with their first, but during her second pregnancy her DH really wanted to know so he found out, but my friend didn't and it worked out really well so it definitely can work. She just had him pick out the going home outfit since he knew the sex of the baby.

bewilderingstar · January 2014

My friend doesn't want to know and her husband said he is going to bribe the tech to tell him outside of the room. Lol. Hey, if he can keep it secret from her then more power to him! She will end him if (when) he slips and she figures it out.

cakebatter27 · January 2014

We're kind of in the opposite boat right now. Now I want to know and DH doesn't. I think I will find our and do my absolute best to keep saying he or she. He won't be devastated if he knows but just loves surprises. I hate them. I'm the girl who ruins Christmas because I peek at gifts. DH threatens every year to return everything if I look.

I don't know how to get DH on the yellow train. I want to keep it between just us.

BeckF · January 2014

My DH really wants to find out. We did find out with the last three babies, but I would like to wait until I have the baby this time. I told him he could find out and not tell me, but he says his face would give it away. It wouldn't bother me if he found out as long as he didn't say anything. If he did find out he could buy the few thing we need before the baby comes instead of waiting until after. He has agreed to not find out since we did with the others and it's a little exciting to him, but he did say he won't close his eyes when the sonographer puts the wand on my belly, just incase he can get a glimpse of something.

BBColt78 · January 2014

funnibunni80 said:

You can always agree to assign a gender in advance. I have kinda assigned "he" (vs. it) to Baby. DH tends to use she. If you do it out of habit, then you might not spill the beans?

That's a good idea for those who are split on the finding out. I love it.

I still cannot figure out what to do. I figure if I end up finding out, I'll have them write it down and DH and I will do a sex reveal for ourselves only out to dinner. Like, he takes me for sushi and we open the envelope. I think you see what I'm doing. . . trying to go out to dinner with an excuse

bgoodbpar · January 2014

I wanted to find out ( I gave in to impatience) and DH didn't. He caved after I found out and wouldn't tell him. I would have kept the secret though.. Hope it's actually a girl as we were told bcuz our dysfunction will be back in full effect over choosing a boys name ( well, just the middle name).

cakebatter27 · January 2014

funnibunni80 said:
You can always agree to assign a gender in advance. I have kinda assigned "he" (vs. it) to Baby. DH tends to use she. If you do it out of habit, then you might not spill the beans?

This is what I mean. Train myself to say he regardless

JMSbaby2014 · January 2014

I think it would be really hard for one person to know and the other not to - I wouldn't go so far as to say dysfunctional but it would definitely be preferable to be on the same team. The mature thing to do would be to have a discussion in why he wants to, why you don't and see if you can get on the same page OR.... You could play Rock Paper Scissors - that always works for us

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