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So, let's talk rooms. Is this fair?

ladybug2785ladybug2785 member
in Blended Families
Our house is a bilevel. The master bedroom is upstairs along with one bedroom. And downstairs, not as far down as a traditional basement, has two more bedrooms. Currently DS is in the upstairs bedroom and SD is in one of the bedrooms downstairs.

So with us expecting, we need to move DS to one of the downstairs bedrooms so the baby can be upstairs with us. It sucks, I hate having them downstairs, but it's safe, we have video monitors, and it's not too far away.

But here's where we have a few issues. The extra downstairs bedroom has a baseboard heater. The rest of the house has regular heating vents. This makes me nervous to put DS in there because he doesn't understand that it can get hot. So we want to move SD to that bedroom, she'll be 7 when/if we make the switches so she can comprehend the heater issue and be safe. But I feel bad to move her bedroom because it's also a bit smaller than the one she has now. Not noticeable to a child, but maybe when she gets older. We would explain to her that her room is a toddler room, and now that she is bigger she gets to move in to the big kid room, DS gets to move in to the toddler room and the new baby gets the baby room. She will get to help choose the paint, etc and I know she will be fine with it.

But is it fair to make all these moves? It is safer. And since SD is only with us 50% of the time and has two bedrooms total (DH and BM have 50/50 everything and do the 2/5/5/2 schedule) it's seems more fair for DS to have the slightly bigger room.

What do you think. Is this fair? Am I over thinking things?

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Re: So, let's talk rooms. Is this fair?

  • cole2144cole2144 member
    Because of the safety issue, this would be no question. Also, in our house the rule is that space is divided according to who spends the most time here. How is it fair for my SD to have a bigger room than DS when she is only here 50 percent of the time and he lives here full time? Life in a blended family is rarely, if ever 100 equal.
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  • Abenedict2011Abenedict2011 member
    Sound perfectly reasonable to me. My SD is 9 and would be more than happy to switch if we told her it was for the safey of her younger siblings.
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  • WahooWahoo member

    You are over thinking this!  You are choosing the best, safest, option.  It would be great if you could just pick up and move into a house where everything worked out perfectly, but that is not an option.

    You never know what SD and your DS thinks.  I always had the biggest room (I was the oldest), but I always had the least privacy because my room was on the way to the bathroom.  So you can't win!   

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  • IlumineIlumine member
    1) Do not compare your house to her mother's house when you make decisions.  It is not fair to her, because SHE did not ask to live in a split household.  You make your decisions as to what is best for your house only. 

    2) Safety always comes before age. 

    3) This is a perfect opportunity to redo her room into a big girl room.  And thus, look at decorating/furnishing in the most space saving ways.  Pinterest will have tons and tons of ideas on how to do that without breaking your bank. 

    This way, you can have a room that she can grow into. 
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  • eltar08eltar08 member
    This is a room question in general, but curious what your thoughts are. When we moved into our house three years ago, SS who is now 6, took the larger bedroom. DD is 8 months and we put her nursery in the smaller bedroom - half the size of SS's. At the moment, since DD is a baby it's not as big a deal, but when she gets older, it might be more of a challenge. SS is here every other weekend - approx 8 days a month. I know the typical approach is whoever is at the house the most gets the largest room but in this case, would that apply since SS is older and was here before DD was born? Just curious, no plans to change the arrangements.
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  • ladybug2785ladybug2785 member
    If their rooms were already established I don't think we'd switch them.
    We are moving SD into a whole new room, so it wouldn't be just trading rooms. Does that make sense?

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  • eltar08eltar08 member
    @noralee86, totally does! I would opt for safety in your scenario as well.
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  • Lavender PLavender P member
    @eltar08, I would leave the rooms as they are for now since your DD is only 8 months. However, as she gets older she will want to play in we room more and need more space. As SS gets older he will need less space because as a teenager he won't have toys. However, you would have to be very careful on how to word it so there is little resentment.
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  • Lavender PLavender P member
    To the OP, it is a no brainer. A child's safety, whether a SK or BioK, comes before anything else.
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