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Caribbean Babies
likeanoldtimemovie
member
nbr: I need house advice, you guys.
likeanoldtimemovie
member
(This might be long.)
Most of you have read my bitching and venting about our housing situation, I know, but for those who haven't, here's the gist: Husband and I moved into my FIL's home over a year ago. The plan was to do a rent-to-own on this home so FIL and BIL could move into a different house. The house we're in now needs a lot of work, a lot of repair and a LOT of love. It's a big home and would be perfect for our family. It's been hard because FIL has basically moved out into a friend's vacant home and hasn't "lived" here in months (He comes home about once a month to stay the night and then leaves again). BIL is still living in basement. He has no job, goes to "school" supposedly, but he never leaves the house, and has his friends and girlfriend practically living with him.
This month, the house was supposed to be ours. FIL was going to deed it over to us, we were going to take over payments and start fixing things up.
When we told him we were pregnant in November, we asked him if January was still on the table for the house to be ours. He said yes, but he still needed the master bedroom because his current living situation wasn't "permanent" and BIL still gets to live in the basement.
So basically, we would be paying the mortgage, all utilities and keeping up this house while BIL and FIL live in it for free.
Fuck that noise.
Husband said nevermind and we decided we would just rent a house before the baby came and give up on this dream. Then, husband started thinking about building a house. We agreed on this plan and we should find out this month if we can get financing or not.
Here's the shitty part: The house, if we build it, will not be done by the time the baby gets here. At the rate we're going, and with his work schedule, it probably won't be done until November or so. Which means we will have to continue living in this house, with all of its drama and shit, for almost another year, but this time? We'll have a newborn who has no bedroom in a house that's already filled with crap because FIL never got rid of his stuff to make room for our stuff.
I'm fine with building a house. I love this idea. But I want to rent a house WHILE we're building. We can rent a home for the same amount we pay here, but we'll have our own place. I won't have to worry about food disappearing from the fridge. I won't have to worry about people waking my kids up. I won't have to worry about the partying, the asshole friends or my baby being handled by BIL's girlfriend who "JUST LOOOOOVES BABIES". My husband won't have to hear me bitch every single day, which means our relationship won't be quite as bitchy as it's been these last few weeks.
But this also means we'll have to move our kids for a third time in three years. We'll have to get settled in the rental and, in a year, pack up and move again. But when we move again, we'll be moving into our final, perfect dream home...
I'm convinced we should move. I tried talking to him last night and he doesn't like the idea, but I didn't think to mention that we could still save a ton of money AND work on building the house while we were renting. Plus, I'm ready to do a nursery and "nest". I can't "nest" here.
So tell me... what would you do? What would your husband do?
(I also know if I throw a big enough fit, he'll do whatever... but I'd like us to both be happy and not resenting each other. Because, honestly, some days I am super resentful of him because he doesn't do/say anything to his BIL for fear of his dad getting pissed off at him. That's more dramaz for another day.)
Also, I love you all for reading my novel. Please to be having a cookie.
Most of you have read my bitching and venting about our housing situation, I know, but for those who haven't, here's the gist: Husband and I moved into my FIL's home over a year ago. The plan was to do a rent-to-own on this home so FIL and BIL could move into a different house. The house we're in now needs a lot of work, a lot of repair and a LOT of love. It's a big home and would be perfect for our family. It's been hard because FIL has basically moved out into a friend's vacant home and hasn't "lived" here in months (He comes home about once a month to stay the night and then leaves again). BIL is still living in basement. He has no job, goes to "school" supposedly, but he never leaves the house, and has his friends and girlfriend practically living with him.
This month, the house was supposed to be ours. FIL was going to deed it over to us, we were going to take over payments and start fixing things up.
When we told him we were pregnant in November, we asked him if January was still on the table for the house to be ours. He said yes, but he still needed the master bedroom because his current living situation wasn't "permanent" and BIL still gets to live in the basement.
So basically, we would be paying the mortgage, all utilities and keeping up this house while BIL and FIL live in it for free.
Fuck that noise.
Husband said nevermind and we decided we would just rent a house before the baby came and give up on this dream. Then, husband started thinking about building a house. We agreed on this plan and we should find out this month if we can get financing or not.
Here's the shitty part: The house, if we build it, will not be done by the time the baby gets here. At the rate we're going, and with his work schedule, it probably won't be done until November or so. Which means we will have to continue living in this house, with all of its drama and shit, for almost another year, but this time? We'll have a newborn who has no bedroom in a house that's already filled with crap because FIL never got rid of his stuff to make room for our stuff.
I'm fine with building a house. I love this idea. But I want to rent a house WHILE we're building. We can rent a home for the same amount we pay here, but we'll have our own place. I won't have to worry about food disappearing from the fridge. I won't have to worry about people waking my kids up. I won't have to worry about the partying, the asshole friends or my baby being handled by BIL's girlfriend who "JUST LOOOOOVES BABIES". My husband won't have to hear me bitch every single day, which means our relationship won't be quite as bitchy as it's been these last few weeks.
But this also means we'll have to move our kids for a third time in three years. We'll have to get settled in the rental and, in a year, pack up and move again. But when we move again, we'll be moving into our final, perfect dream home...
I'm convinced we should move. I tried talking to him last night and he doesn't like the idea, but I didn't think to mention that we could still save a ton of money AND work on building the house while we were renting. Plus, I'm ready to do a nursery and "nest". I can't "nest" here.
So tell me... what would you do? What would your husband do?
(I also know if I throw a big enough fit, he'll do whatever... but I'd like us to both be happy and not resenting each other. Because, honestly, some days I am super resentful of him because he doesn't do/say anything to his BIL for fear of his dad getting pissed off at him. That's more dramaz for another day.)
Also, I love you all for reading my novel. Please to be having a cookie.
----------------------------------------------------------------
“When the first baby laughed for the first time, its laugh broke into a thousand pieces, and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies.”
- J.M. Barrie Peter Pan
married on the sweetest day 10.20.12
Chicken - 07.08.06 | Bubsy - 02.24.09 | Sunshine - 07.16.14
“When the first baby laughed for the first time, its laugh broke into a thousand pieces, and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies.”
- J.M. Barrie Peter Pan
married on the sweetest day 10.20.12
Chicken - 07.08.06 | Bubsy - 02.24.09 | Sunshine - 07.16.14
I have died every day waiting for you. Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years. And all along I believed I would find you, time has brought your heart to me. I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you a thousand more.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: nbr: I need house advice, you guys.
I think I can get somewhere with all of this tonight. Thanks again, ladies.
“When the first baby laughed for the first time, its laugh broke into a thousand pieces, and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies.”
- J.M. Barrie Peter Pan
married on the sweetest day 10.20.12
Chicken - 07.08.06 | Bubsy - 02.24.09 | Sunshine - 07.16.14
I'm another for rent a new house while you're building.
No way I'd want to live in that situation for another year with a new baby on top of it.
son#1 born 6/2010
son#2 born 4/2012
son#3 born 7/2014
TTC #1 since 10/2012.
BFP#1 11/28/12, MC, BFP #2 CP
BFP #3 10/21/2013, EDD 7/3/2014
Beta #1 (4W6D): 1768 Beta #2 (5W1D): 5255
1st US at 6W4D HB of 112 BPM!
1/20/2014: IT'S A GIRL!
6/30/2014: Happy birthday baby M!
DS born 8.11.14
BFP #2: 9.14.16, EDD: 5.24.17
We're leaving this shit hole!
“When the first baby laughed for the first time, its laugh broke into a thousand pieces, and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies.”
- J.M. Barrie Peter Pan
married on the sweetest day 10.20.12
Chicken - 07.08.06 | Bubsy - 02.24.09 | Sunshine - 07.16.14
Great news! I would def move into your own space for right now. Plus, you don't have to unpack EVERYTHING, just take out what you need until your dream house is finished.
I could not handle that situation with a baby coming, that's too much for you to handle!
"Your truth is different from my truth, and we're both right."
TTC since March 2013. BFP 4/13/13, blighted ovum discovered 6/6/13, m/c 6/8/13.
BFP 11/10/13, EDD 7/25/13 - stick little owlet!