Working Moms
raguggenmos
member
Options
Advice on nanny
raguggenmos
member
in Working Moms
I need some advice. Being a first time mom I'm not sure what's normal
and what's not. We hired a nanny to look after our daughter while we
work. My husband and I work strange ours and so we only needed 2 half
days and 2 full days of child care. We've had our nanny since the
beginning of November and installed cameras that she's aware of since we
didn't know her prior to hiring her.
Here our our issues:
- We've told her we want limited technology around our daughter because we don't want her to be one of those kids that's always on a tablet or playing video games -- but the majority of time I look on the nanny cam she's either on her phone or computer. I would like her to be more hands on - reading books, singing songs, etc.
- We have two dogs and are finding accidents from her not letting them out enough
- We've asked at least twice that she only eats in the dining room as this is one of our house rules. We've seen her eat multiple times in the living room and I've found stains on our tufted ottoman.
- We've asked her to put our daughter down for naps in her crib. She insists on letting her fall asleep in her swing and keeping her there. We don't want her to need the rocking motion in order to sleep.
- Then today I found her water bottle next to the bed in our spare bedroom, which would lead me to believe she's taking naps on the job. Should we have to request that naps not be taken?
I don't want it to sound like we hate her. Here are her pros:
- she's been flexible with changing her schedule when ours have changed due to work
- our daughter seems to like her
First off - being a first time parent are we worrying about things that we shouldn't be? And how would you go about addressing these problems without it turning out to be some big thing? I really don't like confrontation, but I would like her to start listening to our rules and requests. Lastly, would you consider finding someone else?
Here our our issues:
- We've told her we want limited technology around our daughter because we don't want her to be one of those kids that's always on a tablet or playing video games -- but the majority of time I look on the nanny cam she's either on her phone or computer. I would like her to be more hands on - reading books, singing songs, etc.
- We have two dogs and are finding accidents from her not letting them out enough
- We've asked at least twice that she only eats in the dining room as this is one of our house rules. We've seen her eat multiple times in the living room and I've found stains on our tufted ottoman.
- We've asked her to put our daughter down for naps in her crib. She insists on letting her fall asleep in her swing and keeping her there. We don't want her to need the rocking motion in order to sleep.
- Then today I found her water bottle next to the bed in our spare bedroom, which would lead me to believe she's taking naps on the job. Should we have to request that naps not be taken?
I don't want it to sound like we hate her. Here are her pros:
- she's been flexible with changing her schedule when ours have changed due to work
- our daughter seems to like her
First off - being a first time parent are we worrying about things that we shouldn't be? And how would you go about addressing these problems without it turning out to be some big thing? I really don't like confrontation, but I would like her to start listening to our rules and requests. Lastly, would you consider finding someone else?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Advice on nanny
I do allow my nanny to nap while my LOs are napping (this is her only break in an otherwise busy day) but she gets all her chore done, so I don't sweat it.
As far as chores - we pretty much just told her to clean up after herself and the baby. What kind of responsibilities do you give your nanny? Would it be out of line to ask her to do things now that she's already in the position? Trust me I could use help around the house - it's hard working full time and trying to get all the cleaning done (something I'm sure I don't have to tell you). I just didn't want her to feel like a maid either. Since this is our first time we really didn't know what the basic requirements typically are -- so I'd be really appreciative to hear what you expect!
@mommaoftrips - sounds like you were lucky she quit. I'm really not looking forward to sitting her down. I was hoping there would be enough respect that she'd listen to what we ask of her.
As your DD is 5 months old, I wouldn't expect the nanny to be reading/singing to her 100% of the time. I know I didn't when DS was that old. Babies can entertain themselves to a degree. BUT - what % of the time is she on her phone/computer? If it's here and there and not really THAT much time, I'd probably let it go. If it's truly predominantly most of the time, then that's an issue.
My thoughts on your other issues:
- Dogs - be more clear of how often they should go out. ANd if she's not letting them out, I actually feel SHE needs to be cleaning up their accidents.
- Food - reiterate that food needs to be in the dining room only. And if there are stains, show them to her. Tell her this needs to not happen again.
- Crib - um, yeah, she needs to follow your rules on this. Absolutely.
- Naps - eh, if the baby is asleep and everything else is done, I don't see the big deal. EXCEPT if she tries to claim (w/ the technology) that she has stuff she "has" to do during the day. If there is work she has to do- then that needs to be done when your baby is asleep. But outside of that... if everything else is taken care of, why does it matter if she catches a little sleep?
I'd have a talk w/ her to review the rules. I'd stress what you do like about her, but explain that you've seen some things that are specifically the opposite of what you've asked her to do.