Good luck and stay positive

Belovedvirgo0209 · January 2014

I have been reading on this forum for the last few weeks and joined last week and I'm not saying this to brag by any means but children have managed to come easy for us. Adasyn came to us via adoption.My partner use to work with this guy and he meet a girl online and they started dating and she ended up pregnant and they knew they couldn't keep the baby and a mutual friend of both my partners and the birth father had suggested that we adopt the baby and 4 months later we met our beautiful daughter 15 mins after she arrived into the world

As for this pregnancy we used the known donor registry site found a wonderful donor and basically had instant success.My heart goes out to all the couples that have struggled having to chart ,take temps ,order sperm and go to clinics to have it inseminated or do numerous rounds of iui and invitro and have had losses and I just want to personally say that each and every one of you are my heros.The struggles ya'll have endured and the fight ya'll have in you to keep going makes me so thankful for our blessings me . I wish you the best of luck on your journeys and I hope that you all end up with happy endings. Stay positive and have lots of faith and support

Manada · January 2014

Okay. I trust that you have the best of intentions in posting this but telling someone struggling with infertility that their misfortune makes you feel "so thankful for your blessings" is really kind of a kick in the teeth.

I don't want to be anyone's hero ..... I just want a damn baby. In fact, I would make a pretty piss poor hero these days because after a year and a half of aggressive infertility attempts we are broken, anxiety ridden, and generally financially unstable. We have also come to terms with some really difficult things that no one who hasn't experienced infertility could possibly understand. This isn't about staying positive, it's about clinging to some scrap of hope because hope is the only thing that gets you through how invasive, unsure, draining and confidence crushing the process can be.

I understand your post was made with the best of intentions, and I don't think you're a bad person .... But from someone who is struggling, it doesn't feel like the impact it might have on those reading was really considered at all.

Belovedvirgo0209 · January 2014

I am truly sorry I did have the best of intentions and just want to say sorry if i've offended anyone.Your right ya'll have gone through things that people like me will never understand.I'm sorry and this post can be deleted.

Manada · January 2014

I appreciate the apology - speaking only for myself and my partner-love (who thought your reply was very nice).

We hear "be positive" alot from our families, people we work with, sometimes it gets hard not to jump back with "positive doesn't get me a baby!" But I do appreciate the general sentiment of support

It's up to you what you want to do with the post... I don't mind either way. Others may have other reactions/comments as well.

lamaitresse · January 2014

Your well wishes and prayers/positive thoughts are definitely appreciated. As you've probably noticed, it's been a stressful several weeks here on the board, with losses and disappointments all around. Sometimes it's hard to stay positive when month after month, your hopes are ripped away from you one more time. If you haven't had to endure the same thing, it can sometimes seem like your message is coming across as trite, even though that's not your intention. As I mentioned before, good vibes are always welcome here and we're a pretty supportive bunch over all... but the TTC process is not as easy for some of us and can be very emotionally and physically taxing. That being said, would love to learn more about you and hope to see you participate in our discussions.

firstcomeslove2013 · January 2014

I don't really want to drive home any points but this has REALLY been weighing on my heart. My spouse and I went through 9 IUIs collectively. I went first and after 5, we switched. C then did 4 more and we got our BFP this last IUI.

It feels really horrible when people comment about infertility like "it will pass" and "your baby will come". When you are struggling and until you have your take home baby, you can never know that and it's really hard when people tell you that.

Even now that we are pregnant it's still hard for us as we know it a early, our betas are low and we won't be out of the woods until our baby is here with us.

This group is so supportive and wonderful but there have been a few times that people have mentioned things that are offensive. The great thing about the support of this group is that often times people will step up and stand up for those struggling or for their own feelings.

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Good luck and stay positive

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