Sibling Disappointed With Gender

clee2009 · January 2014

We found out we were having another boy on Tuesday and broke the news to my 5 year old daughter. She immediately started sobbing. She wanted a little sister. I tried to console her but nothing has worked. She even went to school and told her friends she is having a brother and a sister.

Has anyone dealt with this? Any pointers? I do feel bad for her. I grew up with 2 sisters and cannot imagine life any differently.

TonyaCody06 · January 2014

I'm worried about this with my 3yr old. She only thinks I'm having a girl and refuses to talk boy names with me (we are team green). I think she would actually be disappointed on delivery day if a boy. I'm going to just slowly keep telling her we don't get to choose - God does.

Not sure this helps you. She just needs time to process the info and accept the idea. She's in the anger/denial stage and will eventually accept and move on.

Let her help pick out boy things to get ready.

babygabe614 · January 2014

I know my 8 y/o stepson will be disappointed if we have a boy (he has a half-brother and a step-brother and has been very vocal with us about how much he wants a sister and would "hate" having another brother, lol) but like PP's have said, he will get over it if we do indeed have a girl. I know my situation is a bit different since he's older and it's easier to explain that we don't get to choose, but I think the advice is the same - be understanding of their disappointment but remind them that the choice is out of our hands and they will need to love their sibling no matter what. With my stepson it helps to make him feel important about being the older sibling and the added responsibility he'll have once the baby comes.

owlcup · January 2014

My DD reallyyyyyy wants a baby girl. She's always talking about things they will do together. Our AS isn't until next Thursday. If it is a boy, I plan on taking her out and letting her pick out things for her newest brother as she loves shopping for others.

She adores her brother now so I'm hoping any disappointment if there is any will be minimal.

caitb413 · January 2014

I experienced this myself as a kid- of course I was sad for a little while that I didn't get a little sister, but love my two younger brothers anyway. She may bug you for another baby in hopes it'll be a girl... but it'll pass and she'll be okay about it pretty quickly. Plus, she'll always have girl friends to hang out with (and complain about little brothers to!).

JujuB22 · January 2014

I wanted a sister, but I got over it when my brother was born. I just dressed him up as a girl every chance I got. He's gay now.....so yea, not sure if I had a part in that or if that is why he never fought dress up

(pretty sure he was born this way, but we joke around about it) I love my brother and can't imagine him being any different.

Anyways, I guess my point is it doesn't matter the sex, and your little one will get over it eventually and figure out their own special relationship.

otter1103 · January 2014

She will get over it eventually. And if this is your last, she won't have to worry about a little sister taking her things when she gets older. She will be the princess of the family if there's only a brother or brothers

MrsP419 · January 2014

I just would not make a big deal out of it. My DD was convinced our twins were boy/girl. There was no other option in her head. Sometimes she tells me she does not like that there are two sisters, but she doesn't seem too shook up about it anymore. Now I have to prep her for the disappointment that we most likely will not be naming them after Disney princesses.

For what it's worth, I was a bit disappointed when we found out DS was a boy because I wanted DD to experience having a sister close in age. I am SO SO glad that what I wanted ultimately did not matter; my DS and DD are BEST friends and adore each other. They play wonderfully and their personalities compliment each other so well (and she is very "girly" and he is "all boy.")

bebemac · January 2014

Well, I'm probably no help. I would do this:

And then this:

allrightmeow · January 2014

We have been preparing our daughter for the fact that she may not get the little sister she wants.

ddd2 · January 2014

My 6 yo son was all prepped for a boy and even saved Thomas the train toys to pass down. I broke the news to him it was a girl and he responded by telling me " great! Another cousin!" He has come to accept a girl coming but told me today he would only be excited to be a big brother to a boy. We had the god talk again and he understands we get what we get and we don't get upset! I also explained we can have more babies and try for a boy. He immediately said a prayer. " dear god, please let my mom and rich make another baby after my sister comes and don't make me wait a long time.. And please make it a boy if you can! Amen" He melts my heart.

RaisingABuzz · January 2014

My 4 year old cried this morning when he found out we were having another boy. He wanted a little sister so badly! He was upset for about 30 minutes and then when we started telling people he became more excited. He's fine now! We just didn't make it a big deal.

kcartwright12 · January 2014

My son was very upset when we found out we were having a boy. He really wanted a sister and almost caused a scene at the dr's office b/c he was so upset. It broke my heart that it couldn't give him what he wanted, but after the appt. I took him for a little mommy/son time and we talked about it. Told him all the fun things he can do with a brother, that he couldn't do with a sister. He then told me why he was really upset. His best friend at school has a baby sister, so he wanted to be just like him. Haha! So, we talked and then bought some stuff for the new baby brother and he got to pick out something special for him. He's warmed up to the fact, and I know with a little more time he will come around. Kids process and deal with things at their own pace. Good luck!!

lellymine · January 2014

I have 3 brothers so I had lots of initial disappointment but once they got there my feelings mostly changed. My mom was really good at making me feel included when she was taking care of them and with my youngest brother I kind of took him over as my living doll. Every time I was in one of my mini meltdowns over not having a sister they reminded me that I never had to share my dolls/toys or wear hand me downs like my brothers. Totally shallow benefits but to my 5-10 yr old self it helped. It'll get better, my brothers became some of my best friends and your DD will grow to love hers.

EmbracingChange · January 2014

I've been trying to prepare my daughter because she's adamant that this one is a girl. I reminded her of how much more she would get to spend on a wedding if she didn't have a sister

mschware · January 2014

I can guarantee you that once she sees him, she won't ever be upset about him being a boy. She's going to love the baby. She may still say she wants a little sister every once in a while, but she will love him when she meets him I'm sure

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