Looking for encouragement (loss mentioned)

MissErika16 · January 2014

Hi all-first off congrats on your babies and hopefully it's ok to pose this question to you all. I am 38 and went for my 8 week US yesterday which showed a 6w 2d bean and something "trying to be a fetal pole." They said I'm likely going to miscarry. I had a gut feeling as I thought I should be feeling "sicker" (I have 3 children 13,11,8) . I really don't think my dates are 11 or 12 days off but I go back for another US Monday. Slight cramping and baby bit of brown spotting today. The main reason for my post is that I'm not sure how much this loss can be attributed to my age or just Mother Nature and I probably will never know. I think it just natural to be terrified that I can't get pregnant again or if I do that I may suffer another loss. My Dr is not the kind to do a lot of tests and I always trust other Moms. Have any of you suffered a loss to go on and get pg again? How long after? Did you do anything differently?

Thank you!

2redtulips · January 2014

I am also 38, and I had a loss in Oct. 2012 (8 wk u/s showed a missed miscarriage, baby stopped growing at 6w).

It took us more than a year of trying, some testing and some lifestyle changes (implemented when we were working with a reproductive endocrinologist). The RE put me on a low-gluten diet, zero caffeine, a bunch of supplements, acupuncture and baby aspirin (because my diagnostic doppler showed inhibited blood flow in my uterus). We were gearing up for our first round of IUI when I got my bfp (huge shock).

From what I have read, most first trimester losses can be attributed to genetic issues - and unfortunately that can happen to women of any age. Your age alone is not the only contributing factor, and this board is a testament to the fact that women can conceive successfully in our late 30s and beyond.

I am sorry you are in limbo right now. HUGS.

I hope you get some good news after all.

rascus15 · January 2014

I am 38 and was diagnosed with a blighted ovum (empty gestational sac, baby never progressed). I got the diagnosis in June and had a D&C. I had one cycle then got pregnant again. This baby is healthy and doing well. I am sorry you are going thru this tough time. Sending prayers and good thoughts your way.

dragonfly711 · January 2014

So so sorry. I had a mmc at 11 1/2 weeks last Feb at age 39. I will be 40 in 2 weeks.

I am not sure how much age has to do with it. 1st trimester miscarriages are more common than we think. I had a DnC and had the tissue sent for chromosomal testing just to make sure nothing was wrong that way. All came back normal.

You said that you had a feeling due to you thought you should feel sicker. With the first before the mc I had no morning sickness, with this one I hardly had any too, I never got sick just exhausted, little nausea feeling once in awhile but nothing crazy and never actually got sick. MS just depends on the person.

We got pregnant first try the first time and after the DnC we waited 2 cycles per the Dr and ttc and finally got pregnant in October. We were just going back to the Dr since it was almost 6 months ttc again and since we are older Dr said try for 6 months. Since we got pregnant first try first time it was very upsetting every month not getting pregnant, even though I know it can take months.

When I had my mmc. I had a gush of blood, went to the Dr had US all was good. Went back the following week for my first exam ( hubby didnt go with me since all was ok the week before) I went for the exam he had me get another US and no heart beat. I was in shock. Had DnC next day, I did not want to wait til mc on my own and have to worry about the emotional drain and stress so for me DnC was the best way to go, plus they could take the tissue for testing. Even though the testing came back normal I was glad we had it done. Had a little closure.

I am so sorry you are going through this, will be thinking of you. Please keep us posted on how you are doing. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

rae_dylanzmom · January 2014

So sorry to hear what you're going through. It sounds a lot like us last year. 40y old, 8w appt, no heartbeat, and I'd likely miscarried about a week before. She said it was too soon to 'call it' and to come back in a week. I waited two before I went back, so that I could miscarry naturally and just go back to make sure it all passed.

I knew in my heart that it was a mmc.... I had pretty minor pregnancy symptoms and then none. I was nursing my son in the middle of the night, and all of a sudden my milk let down (which it hadn't done in a long time). I literally googled missed miscarriage on my phone while we finished nursing. The next day I felt different and just didn't feel pregnant anymore (except for the pooch, which stuck around for at least a month).

We got pregnant about 6 months later. Didn't really do anything different, but I was better about charting and communicating with my DH. My 8w appt is in a few days. Fingers crossed that this one has a healthy heartbeat, but I still feel bloated and tired.

So assuming this is the road you're on.... you'll have to decide to get a DnC or pass naturally, and then you'll have a month (or two) of heavy periods (at least this was my experience, and I saw other women say the same... so I think it is common). And then you'll be ready to try again!

I hope this diatribe doesn't sound negative. I just wish I'd known any of this when it happened to me.

QOTR · January 2014

I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope it works out ok. I think there are a lot of ladies on this board that can give you reason to hope though!

I had 3 losses before this one stuck. Like you said, I'll never know if they were due to my age or would have happened anyway. We began the process of using donor eggs to increase our odds and learned we were pregnant again, unassisted. We feel extremely fortunate that this one seems to be sticking around.

If you don't feel that your current doctor will be aggressive enough to run tests, I urge you to seek a referral to a reproductive endocrinologist (or if your insurance doesn't require it, you don't even need a referral). For me, knowing that I wasn't leaving any stone unturned provided me a sense of control in a time that I was losing hope.

Wishing you the best!

MissErika16 · January 2014

Thanks everyone! I am definitely feeling hopeful at this point and motivated to just keep at it. First I will have my US Monday to confirm the mmc. I seem to be having loss of symptoms (slowly) but still feel somewhat pregnant which makes this tough. @rae_dylanzmom thank you..not negative at all. It's all very sad an emotional but I function better when I know what I'm dealing with...good, bad or otherwise. This is my first miscarriage so I have no clue what to expect or do next. Happy thoughts and well wishes for your 8 week ultrasound!

QOTR · January 2014

I also want to add: That if you do in fact find yourself facing a loss, that there is a miscarriage/pregnancy loss board here on the bump that was helpful to me. Again, best wishes to you.

MissErika16 · January 2014

Thank you. I've been lurking over there until I get my confirmation.

Delaneysmama13 · January 2014

I had a loss in 2011 (at 41), a baby in 2012 (a few weeks before I turned 42), another loss in 2013 (on my 43rd birthday

) and am now 19 weeks pregnant with a little girl. In my case, I do think age was a factor.

I hope my story gives you some hope though! So sorry about your recent loss. ((Hugs))

kelley72 · January 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. I too had a very early loss and went on to conceive this lo the 2nd cycle after my loss. I wish you healing and a happy journey!

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