Bedsharing Check-In

wifeofadam · January 2014

I've been absent for a few weeks. DS1 gave up his naps, so my computer time is limited.

I'm wondering how it's going for everyone.

We've now got DD2 starting the night in her crib. We can put her down without any fight or soothing. Just put her in the crib and shut the door. She'll usually sleep from 7pm-11pm in there and then she wakes and moves to bed with me. She's up about every hour after that. I think I'm keeping her awake. I don't nurse her every time she wakes me, but she just wants me to pull her close and then she'll go back to sleep. I like having her in bed with me, but I'm at my breaking point with the every hour through the night stuff. I've lasted nearly a year without getting more than two hours of sleep at a time and I'm ready for rest. I'm starting to get snappy with the older kids and DH because I'm just mentally and physically exhausted. Not sure how to get her to stop waking up through the night though, because even if she stays in the crib, it's in my room and she still knows I'm there. We may have to night wean completely and do some middle of the night sleep training to fix this. I wish she would just sleep next to me in bed through the night. I really do want her there!

I've also gotten her to nap in her crib twice a day now for the last week or so. In all, the sleep situation is awesome around here, apart from between the hours of 11pm and 7am. ::yawn::

Meggiemuggins · January 2014

Welcome back!

Nothing has changed here. DS starts the night in our bed with us (he's a night owl so I go to bed when he does). Then once he's solidly asleep, he gets moved to his crib, which is right beside my side of the bed. He wakes up 30 minutes after going down (wth?) and just needs a pat on the back and some shushing most of the time, but sometimes needs a full-on cuddle to get settled down. I'm in bed anyways at this point so he just lies on me for a bit, then goes back in his crib.
He often wakes for one feed in there somewhere, but we feed him (FF, so DH can do it too) in our bed, then he passes out and we move him again. I wish I could sleep with him in our bed, but neither DH nor I can relax when he's there, we're both too aware of him to fall asleep.

ella.mabel · January 2014

Can I join this check in?

Our situation is a little crazy. I have a mattress set up on DS's floor. DH doesn't like bedsharing, so it's just DS and me in the nursery. At 10 months, we decided it was time for him to start getting used to the crib so that i could spend some time in bed with DH. So, DH or I are able to rock or nurse him down, then we plop him in his crib. Sometimes he wakes a little, rolls onto his tummy, and falls asleep. He then wakes somewhere between 11:00 PM and 3:00 AM, and then I go in there and pull him onto the mattress and snuggle with him until i wake up at 5:30 AM for the day. Some nights he only wakes once to nurse, other nights it seems like he is up every single hour. Maybe it just totally depends on what's going on in his world (teeth, hunger, etc.). My HOPE is that he will just sleep longer and longer stretches until he's eventually STTN. Maybe that will happen when i stop pumping during the day and my supply drops. That's how it happened with DD, and she began STTN at 15 months in her crib.

Whenever i get frustrated, i just try to remind myself how precious these snuggle times are, and that they don't last forever. He's my last baby, so I just try to focus on cherishing my time with him.

jesuisfatiguee · January 2014

We're still bedsharing. I put DS down for a few hours before I go to bed, and sometimes he'll sleep a good 2 hours before waking, but other times it's every 30 mins to an hour. He sometimes refuses to drink much milk at daycare, and while he does get lunch and a snack of solids, I don't think it's enough, so he still nurses throughout the night. And I do mean throughout - he's latched on about 80% of the time. I don't count how many time he wakes up, but I do know it's a lot. I'm with you, in that I haven't slept more than a 2 hour stretch since he was born. I'm not going to sleep train, though... I'll just keep sticking it out and see what happens. I don't have other kids demanding things of me, so that probably has a lot to do with how I'm not completely crazy right now

I do look forward to one day when I can sleep at least 6 hours straight. That'll be bliss.

wifeofadam · January 2014

DC - Sounds like we're in the same boat and having the same successes, but your LO isn't waking you every hour through the night. I still need the snuggles, too, but in order to function for the sake of my older kids, I also need more than 45 minutes of sleep at a time. I'm at a loss.

Also, I've never asked before - do you have a British accent? I doubt it, because I don't remember you ever saying you're from England (but I haven't slept in ages and my memory sucks, so who knows), but I think the combo of seeing the word London in your name, the quote in your sig, and some of the words you use, I always read your posts in a British accent. I love it. (I think it was the word "brilliant" in the above post that did it for me - you've also said "mum" a lot before).

101Mims · January 2014

We are still bedsharing too. DD goes to sleep when we do, and wakes twice during the night for feeding (FF). I'm perfectly happy with it and plan to bedshare for a while longer yet.

She has one nap, of 2 hrs, during the day. If I have stuff to do then she will go down in her crib without any fuss, but as soon as she has her first slight wakeful moment about 40 minutes later, then she realizes she is in the crib, and wakes with full on crying and screaming. So if I can, I will sit with her and she will fall asleep again. Or she stays awake till an earlier bed time.

If I have no chores, then Ill take a siesta too and we will both sleep in our bed for the full 2 hrs.

tamarar5 · January 2014

We are totally through bed sharing and I miss it. But if he wakes in the night and I even try to pull him in bed with me, it's like s free for all with him climbing on my head and playing. But he sleeps so much better in his bed. This morning he grabbed his blanket and climbed into my lap and went to sleep. I put him down in his crib and actually got two and a half hours!

Welcome back Adamwife! I missed you!

wifeofadam · January 2014

DC2London said:

Lol no, I don't have a British accent

I figured. But I'm still going to read your posts that way out of habit.

wifeofadam · January 2014

TamaraR4 said:

But if he wakes in the night and I even try to pull him in bed with me, it's like s free for all with him climbing on my head and playing.

This is exactly what is happening with DD. Like I said, she doesn't need to nurse, but she's up every hour fussing and climbing on me and punching me in the face. She just wants me to acknowledge her and pull her in close to me. I think that's my cue, like you said, that she needs her own space.

And I missed you guys too

octobermama87 · January 2014

I put DS down (in the PnP next to my bed) between 7-7:30 awake. Sometimes he'll fuss, but only until I walk out of the room. (he stops fussing as soon as he can't see me~ weirdo lol) MOST of the time he stays asleep until I go to bed (around 11-11:30), then I get him out to feed him. I then put him back in his PnP for the rest of the night. He usually wakes once around 4:30-5:30 to eat, then I try to let him snuggle with me, but like @TamaraR4- he thinks its play time on my face/chest/belly....so then after 5-10 mins of that, I put him back in the PnP until he wakes up for the day around 6:30.

Like @adamwife though, he was waking almost every hour until 3 weeks ago when I finally just ignored him throughout the night and nursed him around 5am. Surprisingly, it took only that one night for him to get the point. YEY!!!

He still takes 2 naps/ day. First nap from 10-11 and second nap between 2-3 that will last 1-2 hrs. Actually, he just woke up from a 2.5 hr nap now so...gotta run.

djm31012 · January 2014

@dc2london you don't have a British accent ?!? I can't even believe it ! Totally thought you did. I'm so out of sorts right now ! Haha

ally2011 · January 2014

The times we bed share, this happens too. Dd also doesn't sleep well if I am in the room. But she sleeps fine and only wakes to nurse once in her crib in her room. Do you have a separate room where you can put the crib? You both really need sleep. I don't mean just to feel better. Lack of sleep is really bad for overall health....a friend shared this on FB recently: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/08/sleep-deprivation_n_4557142.html I hope you get this figured out soon...big hugs in the meantime!

nlp1990 · January 2014

We tried modified SLS right after Christmas. So we have been a month and putting him to bed hasn't gotten any better. It is a 30-60 minute ordeal. When he finally falls asleep he will sleep for a couple of hours in his crib. When he wakes up I nurse him and leave him in bed with me. I have tried to put him back and he just screams. Like a PP said I am just hoping that eventually he sleeps longer and longer and gets through the night. After his first wake up he is up every 1-2 hours. He doesn't need to eat but will only go back to sleep if I give him a boob for a couple of minutes. We are moving in a few weeks and I am hoping to move him in his own room from the start and do some sleep training from there!

light52 · January 2014

DS3 wants nothing to do with the crib. We've tried tirelessly to get him to sleep there for naps or during the night. We start him off there each night and he lasts anywhere from 30 minutes to 1 1/2 hours. He then refuses to go back and instead nurses every.single.hour. Sometimes it is just a few comfort sucks but other times it is a full feed. When he wakes up it is full on screaming, like he is in pain. We have his one year check up next week and want to rule out that there is nothing medically wrong. He has bad allergies and has had an asthma attack so we wonder if he has something else going on and that is why he is screaming, despite already being in bed with us.

holly321 · January 2014

Ds starts out in his bed. He always wakes up at 10:30. He usually doesn't need a bottle. If I haven't fallen asleep yet, I am now trying to put him back to his crib. I like to sleep on my bed, but I don't like doing it with him in our bed, he has been trying to climb out of the end. Dd has been coming to our bed around 1ish lately, which I don't mind. And then ds gets up for a bottle around 3:30.

When I work, I get up at 5. And Ds keeps waking up too and I feel bad, because when I don't work, he sleeps until after 7.

SidraJedi · January 2014

Still 100% bed sharing here!

DD is a good sleeper. She acts weird when there is something special on like teething or unrest from a new milestone. We had some issues about a month ago when she first really took off walking. But she basically sleeps fairly soundly once I am in bed with her.

I nurse her to sleep and hour to three hours before I go to bed. She does okay. Sometimes she doesn't want to go to bed without me though. Once we're all in bed I have to roll her over from one breast to the other once or twice in the night. She doesn't wake up or cry, just roots loud enough for me to notice and roll her over me to the other side.

I am really cranky when she deviates and can't sleep well or has night wakings. I think that I am always teetering on the edge of sleep deprivation so any slight change gets me up in arms. I am a morning person and DH and DD are night owls. In order to get time to myself or quality time with DH I have to stay up later than I would really want to and this exacerbates the sleep issue.

All in all bed sharing really seems to be the path of least resistance ( and the most cuddles) for us.

Naps are tough right now because she can sense when I leave after nursing her down and a paci does not work like it used to. I get a lot of reading done these days!

Sometimes I can get away and do other stuff but mostly I just plan to lay there and take a break because I'd rather not risk waking her unless I really have pressing business elsewhere.

eriannc22 · January 2014

Our situation hasn't changed any. Still bedsharing, still wakes up every couple hours, every 30 mins to 1 hour at the beginning of the night and early morning. I'm still holding him or laying with him for naps. He's never slept in his crib, doesn't take a paci, can't self sooth.
We are going to start sleep training in some form after his birthday. I'm going to try to encourage a lovey, maybe pull his mattress out of his crib and start laying on it for naps with him. I'm ready to have my bed back and have time with DH in the evenings.

StephPeth · January 2014

DD is in our bed about every other night. She has started to flail about when she wants her own space, which is when she goes into the crib in our room. I think she is working on her own transition by wanting to sleep alone some nights, which is fine. But I am hoping it will be a slow transition because I really value having her snuggled up next to me.

843andme · January 2014

Still completely bed sharing here....DD wakes probably 2to 3 times a night to nurse and right back to sleep so I haven't been terribly motivated to get her into a crib. My DH also works overnight so I am alone with all the kids at night and to be honest it is a lot of work that I don't want to get into right now!

She sleeps well, I sleep well so what's the rush, right? Ok....it's totally me loving the snuggles and being in total despair because she is my last baby and I want to enjoy this time until she gives me the cues she is ready to move on to her crib.

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a13049 · January 2014

Still bed sharing here. Dd starts in her crib around 730. She wakes around 11 and I bring her to bed with me. She is still nursin about 3 times a night. She has cut her milk in half during the day but is making up for it at night. It so much easier for me to flop a boob in her mouth and go back to sleep when she wakes then to try to south her and out her back in the crib. We saw a different pediatrician at 9 m because our was sick and she lectures is about ending the motn feelings, but I still wake up to snack so she probably gets it from me. We are blessed/cursed with high metabolisms

SLGILL1978 · January 2014

We are still bed sharing here too... We did lower the crib a few weeks ago because baby has started walking. I woke up to her standing at the edge of the bed one morning. Still won't sleep in the crib. Not even for naps. She will however, nap in the pack n play. The last few months my daughter has been waking during the night. Sometimes she is hungry and other times she just plays for a little bit. I don't want her to leave our bed but she did scare me pretty bad when I saw her standing. I am sooo glad she didn't fall. My husband works long hours and we both get good sleep in the bed together.

jdilorenzo · January 2014

We bedshare. MJ falls asleep on the couch with me anywhere between 7:30 and 10. Depends on her naps that day. She goes up to bed with us whenever I go up to bed. She wakes to eat 2 or 3 times a night. She normally wakes a couple more times to get cuddled. I am ok with this set up. I think after a year I will start taking her up to bed for bedtime and try getting her to fall alseep in her crib. Her crib is next to our bed without the one side on so we have one giant crib bed.

pitterpatter129 · January 2014

Laughing a little here. Crying a little. Mine sleeps great at night...in my armpit. He's still not napping alone or going to bed in the evening alone. He's currently asleep on my lap, where he has been since 8:00. It's 10:40... I should really rectify the situation, but I'm also enjoying the baby stage while it lasts.

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