November 2013 Moms

Updated: Daycare- Am I overreacting?

Kfran84Kfran84 member
edited January 2014 in November 2013 Moms
N '13- give it to me straight- Would you freak out over this scenario?

I went to pick DS up from daycare at 4:45 today. Problem #1 is that he was sitting in a Bumbo in a room with just himself and another baby who was sleeping. The teacher was across the hall in another room. I noticed he was fussing kind of pitifully and had his hands in his mouth- clearly signaling that he was hungry. I picked him up out of the Bumbo and the teacher came in the room and said he had been kind of fussy since about 4:00 and she would have given him another bottle if he had it. Problem #2 is that HE DID have another bottle just sitting right there in the fridge. She either overlooked it or never checked. I'm leaning toward never checked because it's a mini fridge with just his bottle and another baby's bottle in it. Seriously hard to miss. He also has frozen milk in the school freezer along with a clean bottle that I leave in his cubby in case of emergencies.

My biggest fear putting him in daycare is that he would be hungry or lonely and he was BOTH when I walked in today. The teacher was very apologetic, but what the fuck, lady. I was nice to her about it, but went over the freezer milk and to definitely call me if this happens again because I only work a few blocks away and can leave easily to feed him.

UGH... I'm so disappointed. I am thinking of looking at alternatives like a nanny or another center, but it's so hard to get in anywhere.

Is this just part of the learning curve for the provider getting used to the baby... or is this outrageous and egregious? I'm just sad right now... sad that he was hungry for 45 minutes and went unfed and that I don't know how long or how often he goes unattended in the baby room.

Cookie cake pie for you if you got through that mess. <3

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Re: Updated: Daycare- Am I overreacting?

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  • edited January 2014
    I'm so sorry. I have the same fears! You possibly could have caught them at an awkward time. Like right as she went across the hall to tend to something. It could have just been moments that he was by himself. But I would totally have been upset too and think a serious conversation with them is warranted. Hopefully they can ease your mind or another option will come along for you! Keep us posted!
    Edit cause I couldn't spell mind
  • Oh I agree! Like I said, I'd be really upset too. I was just hoping for her that it wasn't as long as she feared but still unacceptable.
  • This makes me so mad I can barely see straight! I could cry just thinking about seeing him like that. I know in CA that the infants can't EVER be left unattended and I would imagine that's the case everywhere.

    I would probably look elsewhere. Even if you involve the Director I can't imagine how much reassurance you would need to leave him in their care again.

    And I don't know how you personally feel about the Bumbo but I ruled out a DCP that used it a lot. I don't want my DS in one at all. 45 minutes to sit there hungry and alone probably felt like in eternity to him.

    Good luck. I'm so sad for you and your poor DS that his first day was so upsetting. I don't think you are overreacting in the least.
  • I was so sad for your LO after reading your post. I don't know if I'd freak out, but this is definitely worth a serious convo with the provider. I wouldn't think it's acceptable for a baby to be alone in a bimbo seat.
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  • Absolutely ridiculous that your LO was left alone! I'd be pissed! As far as the milk thing goes, Maybe if it had been a can of Pepsi, the teacher would've remembered it was there? Idk. :-)

    In all seriousness, I would be having a stern convo with the school director. (I have already had numerous conversations with mine ranging from the teachers putting her diaper on too tight, DUMPING a 4 oz bottle of gold, going through an entire box of wipes in 5 days,and changing her clothes for no reason). I'm so sorry this happened to you and I hope that your trust in daycares hasn't been too destroyed. Good luck!!

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  • I would be furious! I would speak with director and report them. That is absolutely not acceptable.
  • This makes me so sad and angry for your little one! That is completelty unacceptable and I would def talk to the head of the daycare or supervisor about this. And I agree.... Stop in unannounced if you can- I would be all over that shit!
  • Reading this made me so pissed off!! I would have wanted to smack that lady!
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  • Whaaaaat? I'm so saddened by the thought of a little one alone and hungry in a room. Trust your mama gut on this-- you indeed have every right to be angry! I too would look into another daycare/situation after this. So sorry this happened.
  • All that's already been said,
    I'm so sorry for you and your LO!
  • All that's already been said,
    I'm so sorry for you and your LO!
  • I agree with everyone else that you are not overreacting at all. I'm so sad and upset for you and your LO that he was left like that. Totally not ok and the teacher should absolutely face consequences for leaving infants unattended!
  • Just like everyone else please report her/the school and look for another place. I couldn't image my baby alone and hungry. Good luck.
  • I agree that you are right to be upset, and it would be heartbreaking to see my LO plopped in a bumbo all alone, also her excuse as to why she didn't give the bottle is lame and hard to believe.

    But I also know if my LO was hungry for 45 minutes he wouldn't be just fussing a little, he would full out be loosing it. Also he might not have been in the bumbo for 45 minutes. And I don't know daycare rules but I do leave my LO unattended in a safe place sometimes, to go grab a bite, go to bathroom, shower etc. Sometimes I can lay him in his crib for that but other times he is not in the laying down mood and so I use a bouncy chair, or swing. Not really the bumbo yet cause he isn't all that stable. (I don't know your LO, and I'm definitely not agreeing with the daycare) but I would probably give them another chance and do some unannounced check in to just see if anything else seems off.
  • I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this.  I think all of us moms feel that we are obviously the best people to take care of our LOs but when people fall so short it has to be extremely hard.

    The hungry thing would bother me- especially since it was 45 minutes.  It's one thing if it was 10 minutes or so right before you would pick LO up (like if you are BF or something), but 45 minutes is too long.

    I would be SUPER PISSED about LO being left alone, especially in a Bumbo.  The only scenario that I could possibly come up with where it would be OK to leave a child is if another child in the next room was having a serious medical emergency requiring another adult.  And in that case she should have but your LO in a crib not in a Bumbo.  

    Glad you are looking for a nanny.  I hope you find a great one!
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  • Littlemama01Littlemama01 member
    edited January 2014
    @kfran84 Yeah I could see that. Go with your gut, you know your LO best. I asked DH his thoughts and he said he would want to switch after that too. GL in your nanny hunt. I'm sure once I need a daycare I'll be going through the same things.
  • If I had pulled that kind of crap at the daycare I worked at my ass would have been fired! Definitely report her and I don't know if I would look for new place just yet, but the center had better be putting a new teacher in that room! If you could work out hiring an in home nanny that would be awesome! GL!
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  • This is why my kids have a babysitter instead of daycare. Not that all daycares are bad but I feel so much more comfortable with the situation. Maybe you could look into bringing someone into your home instead!
  • I would be heartbroken if C was left in a stupid bumbo and hungry when I came in. I would file a complaint with the school, infants should never be left alone at a daycare facility. There should be a floater.... I can understand in a home if it's just 1 person because she has multiple kids and has to potty, make lunch and take care of
  • Big hugs. I'm so sorry that happened to your LO. Nothing about that situation is remotely excusable. If it had been me, the cops would have been called... on me, because I punched the "teacher" in the face for leaving my child alone and hungry. Trust your gut and report the center. I hope you're able to find a nanny soon!
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  • Tell the director. If you don't see some kind of action taken I would leave.
     


      
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  • Nope nope nope nope nope. No freaking way. If I walked into daycare and LO was left in a room alone I would loose it right then and there. Either the director or the owner is at the daycare at all times (one or the other, or both). I would have marched myself right into their office right then and there.

    It's one thing when your LO is fussy...it happens. LO is fussy sometimes with me even when all his apparent needs are met. But if LO is hungry and they are not tending to that need, big red flag. LO is left alone in a room...in a bumbo? No way would that be acceptable. Ever.

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  • I'm a mom of 3 little boys. My little guy is pretty new to the bumbo, but does sit there a couple times a day. The other two are very busy and I find myself leaving LO by himself for up to 5 minutes. He definitely isn't happy about it, but I know he's safe and that ill get to him ASAP. I understand your concern. With my first guy that would have been a nightmare scenario for me to think of. That teacher most likely does her best to attend to all te babies and you happened to come in during a "bad" moment. Sometimes DH comes home during those times and I can only imagine what he's thinking;) it's obviously your call, but I feel like your little guy is well loved and definitely won't starve if he has to wait a little bit.
  • My heart totally goes out to you and I hope you can work something out this week.  There is just so much wrong with that scenerio.  The not feeding, the not being in the room, and being in the Bumbo unsupervised. 

     I can't even believe your baby can sit comfortably in a bumbo at 2 months 2 days and not be a little wobbly/slouchy.  My daughter has great head control and still cannot sit in it without me right next to her, worrying about her head, and only for a couple minutes.  
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  • As an infant teacher and mommy, reading that upset me. How do you make excuses like "he didn't have another bottle" when there's stuff in the fridge? And even if he didn't have anything in there, common sense says, CALL THE PARENT.
  • I've been avoiding this thread because I'm in denial about choosing a daycare for LO in the next week. WHAT THE HELL LADY!! I would definitely lose my shit on the teacher over the excuses. It sounds like she was trying to blame you for him being hungry with no bottle even though you had that shit on lock!!!! Aggghhhh sad baby in a bumbo makes me want to cry! I need to read the rest of this thread to see what happened.
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  • So, did you talk with the director?? I'm curious about what happened.
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  • Update. After taking Friday and the weekend to cool off, I feel better. I talked to the director on Friday and let her know my concerns. She made me feel a lot better. She obviously has a lot of confidence in our caregiver's ability.

    As far as her being out of the room, apparently it is normal for them to step out for a few seconds without coverage, but if they have to leave for any length of time they are supposed to get the room covered. When I came in, she had just stepped across the hall for a kleenex to blow her nose. *Sigh*

    As far as the caregiver not knowing LO had a bottle in the fridge- I was most livid about that- there's really no excusing it. She told me they would meet and work on organization and how something like that can be prevented from happening in the future.

    I dunno guys... I just have so many concerns, but this center has a sterling reputation, so it's not like they abuse babies on the reg. I know that I wasn't overreacting Thursday, but I do want this to work out, so I'm giving it another go and trying to chalk it up to I stepped in at an awkward moment and my caregiver needs help getting better organized so she knows who has food and where it is.

    I am looking for alternatives, but LO is back in the saddle at D.C. today. I'll be dropping in at random times this week to check on him.

    Sorry for the novel again! I know many of  us are going through the same gut wrenching transition this week and in the upcoming days. Lord help us all! Thanks for the sweet thoughts, I creepy-internet-love you ladies.



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  • Kfran84 said:
    N '13- give it to me straight- Would you freak out over this scenario?

    I went to pick DS up from daycare at 4:45 today. Problem #1 is that he was sitting in a Bumbo in a room with just himself and another baby who was sleeping. The teacher was across the hall in another room. I noticed he was fussing kind of pitifully and had his hands in his mouth- clearly signaling that he was hungry. I picked him up out of the Bumbo and the teacher came in the room and said he had been kind of fussy since about 4:00 and she would have given him another bottle if he had it. Problem #2 is that HE DID have another bottle just sitting right there in the fridge. She either overlooked it or never checked. I'm leaning toward never checked because it's a mini fridge with just his bottle and another baby's bottle in it. Seriously hard to miss. He also has frozen milk in the school freezer along with a clean bottle that I leave in his cubby in case of emergencies.

    My biggest fear putting him in daycare is that he would be hungry or lonely and he was BOTH when I walked in today. The teacher was very apologetic, but what the fuck, lady. I was nice to her about it, but went over the freezer milk and to definitely call me if this happens again because I only work a few blocks away and can leave easily to feed him.

    UGH... I'm so disappointed. I am thinking of looking at alternatives like a nanny or another center, but it's so hard to get in anywhere.

    Is this just part of the learning curve for the provider getting used to the baby... or is this outrageous and egregious? I'm just sad right now... sad that he was hungry for 45 minutes and went unfed and that I don't know how long or how often he goes unattended in the baby room.

    Cookie cake pie for you if you got through that mess. <3

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     Problem #1 is that he was sitting in a Bumbo in a room with just himself and another baby who was sleeping.... 
    This part would have me screaming....There have been recent studies that kids should not be out in these until they can sit on their own.  They have cause skull fractures.  
    According to a CPSC blog, infants can escape the Bumbo seat by arching their backs, rocking, or leaning forward or sideways. Infants between 3 and 10 months old have suffered serious head injuries like concussions or skull fractures when this happens, according to the blog.

    I would ask that he not be put in it again


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  • ^^ Yes, you're totally right. I do need to address that with them too.


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  • I really don't think you over-reacted.  As Daniann mentioned Bumbos are known to result in skull fractures.   I would instruct them that your child is never to be left unattended in one of those.  If she needed to run across the hall, she should've put your lo in a crib.  My ass would be chapped too about the bottle issue.  Listen to your gut, give them very clear expectations and check in frequently.  If anything seems amiss, find another provider.  Good luck & hang in there, I'm dreading the back to work day.
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