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Funny Fcvking Friday Confessions
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Re: Funny Fcvking Friday Confessions
I think mine is pretty funny.
Ever since we started PTing, I've had to dress Betsy in pants because she kept dropping her dresses in the toilet. Neither of us is a big fan of pants so it's been a very trying time. Last weekend we worked really hard on using the potty in a dress. I taught her to, "Lift it up . . . aaaaaaand HUG IT!" which keeps the dress from hanging in the water.
So on Monday, she wore a dress to school for the first time in weeks. Before I left I asked her to practice one more time. Several of the other girls in class were watching her and they started saying, "Lift it up . . . . aaaaaand HUG IT!" while lifting/hugging their own dresses and shirts.
So basically I taught a bunch of toddler girls how to flash people.
It worked, though. I had to pick her up early that day because she was sick, but her dress stayed dry while she was there.
DD blew out her dipe in the swing months ago, but until last week I couldn't ever spare the time to wash the cover b/c one or the other of them is sleeping in it non-stop.
In other news, oxy.clean.baby is magical and removed the well worn-in stain immediately.
BFP #2 1/22/2012 ~ DS2 & DD ~ BIRTHday 9/13/2012 ~ unplanned C-section @ 38w1d
Adorable and hilarious. I picture this going down just like the Bend and Snap.
BFP #2 1/22/2012 ~ DS2 & DD ~ BIRTHday 9/13/2012 ~ unplanned C-section @ 38w1d
Yesterday, Katie was settling down for her nap with a bowl of goldfish crackers and she looks at the crackers, hugs them, and says "Myyyy preshusssss."
It took all my willpower not to piss myself laughing.
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
My BFP Chart
LAWL
H went out the other night with his friend and the bar always gives a free shot of whiskey before you leave. Well I guess H forgot how to take a shot because he said he threw it back and somehow ended up dumping most of it up his nose and into his eyes. He says that he had to run to the bathroom to wash out his eyes.
I could not stop laughing when he told me this story.
My kid is addicted to Starbucks "muffins". I actually get a scone -- less crumbs -- but he doesn't know the difference. Several mornings a week, the first thing out of his mouth will be "Momma, I want a Starbucks muffin." Soo.. we go through the drive through. I get my coffee and a scone, break him off less than a 1/3 of it because he's going to daycare where he will get fed breakfast, and I eat the rest.
I should really just say no, but cranberry-orange scones really are delicious. The kid has good taste.
THIS IS GENIUS.
el oh el
I don't think they would appreciate your broken farts.
That is exactly what came to mind for me as well!
I periodically have intense sex dreams about one of my best friends from high school. He and I spent a lot of time together and we never went beyond a pleutonic friendship, but now I have sex dreams about him at least once a month.
We taught DS to say "I'm cute!" Now he walks around telling inanimate objects how cute he is. "Twain, I cute!" "Cah, I cute!" I have been working on getting him to say "Cool dude!" but he says "dute". I also tried to teach him to say "cool story bro". It is still a work in progress.
Right?! I'm writing that down for future reference.
If you dyed it with the liquid from canned or jarred beets it probably wouldn't alter the taste that much. If you dyed it with borscht, I bet it would be pretty tasty.
This is awesome!
DH is going to a party after work tonight so he won't be home for dinner. I flat out refuse to cook dinner if I'm the only going doing the dishes, so we are having Pizza Rolls and apple slices for dinner.
Also, Natty is taking a gigantic dump right now and everytime she grunts, I look over at her. She finally said "NO, momma. Go AWAY. Pooping."
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
Yup. It was hilarious. And smelly. Atomic poop, FTW.
Unable to even.
********************
You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
Omg this.
Omg this.