C Section scheduled :-\

SuzyQq02 · January 2014

This is mostly just a big verbal/mental jumble, I apologize in advance!

37w appt today, and she's still firmly breech and seems to have descended into the pelvis butt down. Between that and her size estimate, it's not looking great for her to flip. We agreed I'm not a good version candidate (one of the meds they use would be risky for me), so we scheduled the date for a c section. That day, they'll check position and if she's flipped, I can wait but if not, we'll proceed with the section.

I never thought I was one of those womenwhowas attached to the idea of a certain birth experience, but I'm struggling a bit. I'm just feeling like my damn body keeps finding ways to impact my babies...having a loss last year, then the ovarian cyst that MY hormone levels caused for HER, and now I can't even manage giving birth the way I'm "supposed" to be able to. These aren't even major complications and I know how lucky we are, but it's just discouraging. And then of course I feel guilty for thinking about me when really, it's about getting her here safely and I need to get the fuck over myself.

Putting it out there in hopes someone can relate/commiserate... or feel free to tell me I'm being ridiculous and I needed to get the fuck over myself. :-)

NoelMarieFrey · January 2014

((Hugs)) I am so sorry she hasn't flipped, but I pray she does before hand so you can wait! I don't think you are overreacting. I would be upset as well!

BzeetyD · January 2014

It's understandable to be upset and I think we'd all understand.

From reading others' experiences, I think planned c-sections are very different mentally/emotionally than emergency c-sections and hopefully you can go into the plan feeling comfortable with the idea and knowing that it is the best thing for all of you. So take the time you need to get to that comfortable place in your head and it will still be a very special and very big day and you are just as much a mom and just as brave, if not moreso, for going through it.

jdubh · January 2014

I was very depressed after my c-section with DD, BUT after having time to cope with it I've come to realize that it was what was medically best for me and her!! I'm not looking forward to my RCS but I'm dealing with it.

Winnieella · January 2014

I'm sorry. It is okay to be upset. I cried and cried over the fact I had a C section. It is okay to grieve over the loss of your labor plan/ ideal delivery.

inluv4life2 · January 2014

Hugs mama! Lots of great insight here already just sharing support!

SuzyQq02 · January 2014

Thank you so, so much ladies. Tlex and car, Idefinitely burst into tears reading both your replies, what wonderful perspectives. And in the end, I know you guys are right, the end result is worth it, but I'll try and give myself permission to be upset if that's what I need.

Mostly, thank you for not making me feel crazy or selfish for having a hard time with this... that validation means more than you know.

boogerbearoriginal · January 2014

::hugs::

There is nothing wrong with being upset when things don't go as you've expected/planned. I hope you find peace with the circumstances that are out of anyone's control. ::more hugs:::

slwprincess · January 2014

I had a little disappointment over my first c/s but once he was here, it all went out the window. A perfect birth experience for ME would have meant a very bad outcome for HIM. Every time I start to feel pouty about having yet another c/s this time I just remind myself how perfect that boy is and how he makes this one worth it all too ;-) Try not to stress over it. Do your research and prepare yourself for the c/s as much as you prepared yourself for vaginal delivery. That way, you won't feel so overwhelmed by the unexpected. Read over on the c/s board- go back several pages as there are some really random posts on there lately. If you have any specific questions about what to expect, ask away. I've said on here before that attitude is everything when it comes to a c/s recovery so while it's ok to feel disappointed now, if you can pick yourself up and focus on that silver lining, I promise your c/s won't seem so bad!

MamaAllison · January 2014

I just want to chime in and say that my LO is breech too and I've definitely had my moments. I have cried, etcetera. And I think that is ok. I just keep reminding myself that even if our LOs were head down that that doesn't mean that we wouldn't end up in a c-section anyway - it happens to lots of people. At least this way we can mentally prepare a little! Hope that helps!!

Meghan14 · January 2014

Sorry you won't be getting the birth experience you wanted and that you feel like your body has betrayed you. I think its normal to feel this way, but the important thing is that she gets here in the safely and it sounds like she will.

cbear47 · January 2014

@suzyq02- I just want you to know I'm feeling the same. (Found out new info about Minion's position today. I'll officially know more after version #2 on Sat.) I feel like for 8 1/2 months I've been planning and researching three things: pregnancy, labor, and new baby stuff. Since the pregnancy part is almost over, I've been focusing on the labor. I feel betrayed by my body and like I wasted so much time. I've spent most of the afternoon in tears. Thank you for posting, I don't feel so alone anymore.

@clb2196, @car seat, @tyrannosauruslex, and all other Feb 14 ladies, thank you so much for your responses. Your kind words and knowledgeable advice is comforting in this time of stress.

BB0214 · January 2014

Honestly, I'd feel the same way. I think it can be disappointing to not get the birthing experience you want. I'm not in a similar situation. But this was talked about in my child birth prep class, and it was the first time I realized that a c section is possible for anyone. I did have a strong reaction. In the end though, you are no less of a woman or mother who got to push. You will have your beautiful baby who you will love to pieces!
Big hugs to you!

ShreyaR · January 2014

I hope all goes well, strangely I wanted to go the c-sec way but I am told I should first try normal delivery, the thing that I don't like about normal delivery is how unpredictable it can get so you see we all have different views on deliveries, there is no need to give yourself a hard time by thinking you wanted normal instead of c-sec, at the end of the day, you cannot control what you think n feel but we all know how we love our LO and just want the best for them and will do what's best for them! Hope all goes well, t&ps! And hope it goes the way you want it to go!

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