August 2011 Moms

What is your opinion on this marital argument?

I heard this scenario on the radio this morning... how you feel about it, who was right or wrong?

Husband and wife got into a BIG fight over last Sunday. The husband was excited about watching the big football games, he planned ahead, bought snacks and beer. On Friday the wife's sister called to say her and her DH would be in town for the day on Sunday. They live several states away and she had a last minute business trip come up. The sister would be in a meeting up until Saturday evening but would like to get together Sunday before flying home that evening. The husband was annoyed because he had plans to watch the games, he said he'd be happy to visit for a little bit but wouldn't be able to make it to dinner with his wife, the sister and her DH. And in return the wife was pissed because it was her family visiting that she rarely sees and he was skipping out for "just a football game".

Who was in the wrong?

It ended by the sister's DH coming over and watching the game with the husband and the two sisters going out to eat together.
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Re: What is your opinion on this marital argument?

  • I feel like she was being insensitive to what was important to her DH. However, they should have come up with some sort of compromise to begin with... like the BIL come over and just the girls go out to eat. Had the business trip not been so last minute then that would have been a different story... 
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  • I would have just invited my sis and her hubby over to watch the game and eat at the house.
  • I guess I'm in the minority here, but I both DH and I would cancel those type of "plans" for each other out of familial obligation without a thought.   Especially since it's a sibling, not a random cousin or aunt coming into town.  It would just be a given that we would have dinner with our siblings if they were visiting from out of town, even if it was last minute. 
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  • I would be annoyed with my husband if he was making a stink about a game. I mean, Gee, he went to all the trouble of buying beer and pretzels? He really went all out! I would have no problem with the husbands staying home to enjoy the game together but if that wasn't an option, I would expect my husband to utilize the DVR we pay $136/month for.
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  • There are a few things I would need to know before I can say who I think is right in that situation:

    - What exactly were the husband's plans? Had he invited all of his buddies to watch the game, or was he going to watch him by himself? I could definitely understand the husband's annoyance if that impromptu visit meant cancelling out on his friends. 

    - How unique/special were those plans to the husband? Does he watch football every weekend, or was this his first chance in months to just sit back and relax? 

    - How did the wife ask? If she sprung it on him like "Hey my sister is flying in so you're gonna have to forget about football", no wonder he's pissed.

    With all of that said, I have had to cancel plans because of surprise IL visits before. I wasn't happy, but family is important, so I just sucked it up. Ultimately, I think that's what the husband should have done. Or those plans were really that important to him, then the wife should have been able to just go to dinner without him - without making a big fuss about it.
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