Those of you with 3

mommymegan831 · January 2014

I've always wanted a larger family because I think it's nice to have alot of people around as you get older. DH has been adiment that he's done with 2. I came to accept that, and came up with alot of good reasons. It seems that any traveling would become very difficult with 5 people since so many hotel rooms are designed for 4. Also kid activities seem difficult, it's easy to pair a parent up with a kid when you have 2, not so much with 3. We enjoy water parks, so it's important for each child to have an adult.

Now that the kids are getting to an age where they're really having fun together and a future with no tantrums and easy outings are in the near future, DH is open to the idea of a 3rd. They are 1 1/2 and 3 1/2 now, I can't have 3 in daycare so if we go for 3 the baby and DD will be 5 years apart and the baby and DS will be 3 years. It's also nice now that they have similar interests, with an age gap like that we won't be so lucky, although the whole 1 parent per kid would be easier because DD and DS could stick together with one of us while the other one is with the baby. I'll be 32 this August which is when we'd start trying, I always wanted to be on the younger side when I had kids, but I feel like it would also be nice to have one more because so many people around here don't even start until they're that age that I may feel left out as I get older and everyone my age has cute little kids and I'll have 2 that may not even want to be bothered with me anymore.

How do you like having 3. Did my reasons against it make having 3 very difficult or have you managed fine?

ashiscute · January 2014

I only have 2 now but would like a 3rd and am hoping to get DH on board. But I am the youngest of three and my brothers are 3 and 5 years older than me so that's sort of what you are describing. I remember being very close to my brother that is 3 years older when we were young. My oldest brother was in kindergarten when I was born so we had some play time together. I wasn't as close with my oldest brother when I was younger but we are super close now.

I feel like I understand your reservations but they seem pretty minimal to me compared to the joy of having a baby. I love being a mommy and as overwhelming as 2 can be (and as appealing as it is to get rid of naps and diapers and whatnot) none of that compares for me personally.

sunnyday016 · January 2014

I'm in a similar spot as you. DH would very happily be done at 2, but is open to having a 3rd. I THINK I want #3, but I go back and forth almost on a daily basis. If we go for #3, we would shoot to get pregnant this summer, which would make the kids 6 & 3 when the new baby arrives. It is so tempting to stop now. The kids play together really well, DS will probably potty train sometime this year, tantrums are lessening (at least with DD), and she will start kindergarten in the fall. Things are getting easier around here. It's hard to process going back to having a 3 year old and a newborn again, and a 6 year old too. With 3, we would probably need a new vehicle and a possibly a new house (down the line). But, even given all that, I don't feel "done", ya know?

BLPL101 · January 2014

I don't have 3, but DH and I have always wanted 3 (we decided this before we even got married). I have one sibling and I don't feel like it's enough so I totally get where you are coming from!

*LrCg* · January 2014

We have 3 now and in July we will have 4 children 5 years old and younger. So clearly all my children have been born back to back. We always wanted 4 and we always wanted them back to back. In fact, we almost didn't get the 4th because I didn't want the spacing anymore than 19 months from #3 and they will be 19 months old (but with breastfeeding it was the soonest we could do). For me personally, I never felt it was hard to adjust to 3 but to be fair I never thought it was hard to adjust with 1 or 2. I'm very good at multi-tasking and I'm a huge planner- meals are planned out 2 weeks in advance, most of the time I'm working on today's dinner and tomorrows while kids are eating lunch, etc. However, for me I wanted to be done with having babies by the time my oldest was 5 because I know in the next year or 2 he'll really want to participate in sports like soccer and flag football. He's shown interest in the past but we've been able to push it aside. My issue is obviously with a baby they go to bed by 6:30pm-7pm and their naps are so very important and I either would have to miss my son's events or drag a baby along who will be exhausted and sleep deprived. Neither of these we're an option for me. I realize some parents do this but its not my parenting style. For us, the first year is so important in setting sleep patterns and we stick to them. And when my kids do something I'm always right there involved in it. I also love that since my kids are close in age they all get along amazingly well and are so supportive of one another.

Another reason I like them close is for travel purposes. We don't vacation anywhere right now. My children all hate car rides (my youngest screams after 40 mins- they've all been belly sleepers from birth so I think that's why none of them will sleep during car rides). I have no intention of flying right now because if we would go to say Disneyland, the youngest would have no clue about it or enjoy it and it wouldn't be worth the cost. However, when the youngest is 3 and the oldest is 8 it is certainly worth it and being their close age they will all enjoy it. In the meantime we do things like special trips to children's museums and overnights at waterparks (which is another reason I love them close because since we are out numbered by the kids- it doesn't really matter since their all young and in the kiddie part section).

I think in the end you really need to sit down and think if there's really someone missing in your family. And if so, there's your answer and you'll make the rest work.

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