Shit your MIL says...

kteeswei · January 2014

We do these a lot but it's always fun to share the crazy, no?

To start-

"He should be potty trained by now, my son was potty trained at 2 weeks" (google elimination communication or infant potty training)

In looking at a picture of Quinn she says to DH (in Mandarin, she specifically told him not to share this with me)- "He looks white. My son was much cuter.

When she says "my son" she is referring to DH...and she seems to be competing...so weird

jmdaisy2 · January 2014

Ahhhh they sound like gems, ladies. So glad mine lives far far away.

She said to me the other day that when she comes up to visit the 2 day old, that Grant and I should go sleep at her hotel while she watches the baby. Ummmmm what?? She was dead serious but that didn't stop me from LOLing at her.

megs12914 · January 2014

My MIL doesn't so much say crazy things as she is just f-ing crazy! I specifically hate when she calls Noah "my son," meaning hers. Uh, no bitch. I'm pretty sure I have the scar and went through hell with my pregnancy, not you. You have screwed up your own children and I will make it a point to do the OPPOSITE of whatever advice you give.

I could tell you crazy things she says but then I'd have to explain the even more ridiculous backstory!

my5sons · January 2014

I made the mistake of letting my MIL attend my last birth...while I was having contractions monitered my MIL kept commenting on how they were so small and minor because the numbers were small, even though I was writhing in intense pain, and the nurse kept telling her that the numbers meant nothing, it was just how the moniter was reading them because of where it was placed. She just kept babbling about how these contractions were so mild I shouldn't be in pain...I would have screamed at her to get out but I couldn't speak - because I was in a LOT of pain! The nurse threatened to kick her out because she was upsetting me so she finally shut up.

Needless to say...she will not be attending this upcoming birth!!

waittilltomorrow · January 2014

My mil told my first born "you have fat feet like your mother" she was only a couple of weeks old. What a b#*%#*

cnwilbur1030 · January 2014

I like my MIL, but 2 reoccurring statements drive me crazy:

1) Well all sickness is due to unrepentant sin, so I don't need the pertussis shot because I'm walking with Him! (She also uses this to shame DH who has Crohn's disease, a chronic illness. She asks what sin he hasn't repented of...)

2) At our house Abby (DD) does fine! (This is in reference to how Dd "does fine" staying up until 930 instead of in bed at 730, napping at 5pm instead if 1, and obeying everything they say even though she's stubborn to us. Well, lady, she may be less stubborn for us if she wasn't so cranky from being off her toddler schedule!)

jblank03 · January 2014

cnwilbur1030 - I am SPEECHLESS with regards to #1.... That is some BSC stuff right there.

ccip82 · January 2014

My MIL said this to me while they were visiting us last summer and watching DD (I was letting our dog out back):

"Kids are bound to fall down the stairs sooner or later..."

While they were "watching" DD she went toddling around the house and tumbled down our back stairs. Thank god I heard her little voice from outside and ran inside up the first couple stairs. I caught her as she was somersaulting down.

MIL also loves giving parenting "advice"

- She swore I would stop nursing once DD had front and bottom teeth that lined up....I nursed DD until she was 19 months old...

-She tried giving my DD water when she was a month old in order to get her to stop crying...

-She keeps telling me that since all her babies were 10 month babies and 9+ pounds, that is what I will get with DS. Gee...thanks...just want I want to hear.

Oh and another thing...They will be flying out to Scotland on Sunday and staying with us, in our house, until February 13th...

susieandmarty · January 2014

My mil called me the other day to tell me that they were waiting by the phone and that she now carries her cell everywhere. She is just do excited then she said, "I guess you are too". Really.

She has a ton of gems but some if you ladies have it really bad. Cnwilbur - how do you let that crazy into your house

BABYROSEJEANS17 · January 2014

My MIL lives several states away and she's been irritating the crap out of me lately (Even more so for the past week because I feel like I'm PMSing). The highlights are:

- She said that the belly pics I post on FB are "old" because "there's no way you're this far long and not huge." Geez, thanks. After I tell you EVERY WEEK my OB is fine with my progress, let me forego her advice to have a balanced diet and live out the movie Super Size Me.

- If SO or I do not answer our cell, she calls incessantly until we pick up and says, "You guys didn't answer your phones. I thought you were in the hospital." Sorry that our lives do not revolve around your phone calls, but if you keep this BS up, we're not telling you or anybody when I actually go into labor!

- After mentioning that we're putting DS in daycare when I go back to work, she said we have "expensive taste."

And yesterday...

- She called my SO saying that if I wanted help with DS, she'll fly out and stay with us until September. HELL NO! The thought of a semi-perm houseguest living with us and in DS' room is not my idea of a good time!

I file all this and all her other advice under #DumbShytMILSays.

ameliamoore · January 2014

Mil tried to talk me out of my tubal ligation by stating I don't have the slightest idea how much pain I will be in. P.s. This will be my 4th child & 3rd csection. She continued with she would help pay the expenses if I would give her 2-3 more grand babies......cause she is gonna live forever

jwp325 · January 2014

NBR but my MIL is part of a religious group and is constantly giving us DVDs and CDs about people's come to Jesus experiences. She also tries to get us to come to her group's retreats. Um no!

Her group is catholic and so are DH and I but her group borders on trying to recruit people to the catholic faith which I was always raised to believe is a no no in y faith. Even a family member who is a bishop says that her group is wrong in their actions and they aren't even sanctioned by the Vatican so she shouldn't belong to the group. Yep, that's enough or me to say no way will I or my child go to anything held by your group.

ETA: Oh and another related thing to this, she wanted us to use the fact that stepdaughter's mom didn't want her baptized catholic as part of our argument when we went through custody proceedings a year and a half ago. She was shocked when we explained to her that a judge can't and won't decide religion of a child and just because shebelieves that baptism is crucial to a child's development doesn't mean everyone else does. Don't get me wrong, I do believe religion helps teach morals and values but it's not the only way to do that.

kteeswei · January 2014

Wow, I'm in good company with you ladies! My MIL is staying with us for the month of March. I imagine she'll try to potty train my kid.

sleepymonkey · January 2014

As I was sitting on the couch crying out of frustration that I was a breastfeeding failure, my MIL made the comment to DH (in front of me) that she had a feeling this would happen and she wishes she bought us the car seat and stroller instead of the Medela breast pump because now it's going to go to waste. I just got up and walked out of the room.

megs12914 · January 2014

@suzalie holy f balls that is so out of line I don't even know what to say!

Mrs.Salt&Pepper · January 2014

Not so much what she said (this time...) but what she did. So.... not only was she the first one in the room, without any notice that she was coming, just minutes after DD2 arrived, but then she came over just about an hour after we brought baby home, and she brought my 9 month old nephew, who is into EVERYTHING! So, while we were trying to adjust in the first few hours with DD1 & DD2 at home, we also had my nephew there, tearing into everything, climbing up the tile stairs and all over the brick fireplace. Needless to say, it was not an enjoyable coming home.... and then she came over the following day, with my nephew in tow AGAIN!

I was pretty annoyed.

susieandmarty · January 2014

suzalie said:
As I was sitting on the couch crying out of frustration that I was a breastfeeding failure, my MIL made the comment to DH (in front of me) that she had a feeling this would happen and she wishes she bought us the car seat and stroller instead of the Medela breast pump because now it's going to go to waste. I just got up and walked out of the room.

I would not gave held my tongue. She would feel my wrath

sleepymonkey · January 2014

susieandmarty said:

As I was sitting on the couch crying out of frustration that I was a breastfeeding failure, my MIL made the comment to DH (in front of me) that she had a feeling this would happen and she wishes she bought us the car seat and stroller instead of the Medela breast pump because now it's going to go to waste. I just got up and walked out of the room.
I would not gave held my tongue. She would feel my wrath

Crying is so foreign to me (thank you baby blues) that I tend to shut down when I cry. If I wasn't so emotional I would've said something. MIL is usually ok, but sometimes she says things that make you shake your head.

bellamatson · January 2014

Just got this text yesterday from my mil... She wants us to move back to ft worth...
Lol

megs12914 · January 2014

When my heroin addict sister didn't show up for her one visitation with for daughter that my IL's now have custody of, "Somer said she was in a NA meeting and that's why she couldn't make it."
First of all, they, my ILs, finally pressed charges after she steals over $20000 from them. She stole clothes from her daughter that she doesn't even have custody of for drug money including a bracelet the baby's other grandmother have given her for her first birthday. The worst are the priceless items she stole like the locket my FIL gave MIL for their wedding gift 39 years ago that they will never see. They have offered her help but she does want it. The point is they saw her high the week before at visitation and really think that she is in a meeting. I'll play and say she could have been in a meeting even though she picked the one meeting (if there was one at all) where she can see her daughter to attend when she has so many other choices? She didn't have a meeting obviously but was too high to go see her just like the time before when my ILs saw her nodding out the whole time with another excuse that she was painting a mural for work and has been busy. What job? You don't paint and no one with money would hire you. You certainly aren't that tired from painting to where you can't hold a conversation or keep your head up.

I know I seem cold but this has been going on for years. She's even stolen from me and my husband. We've been nice but are just tired that they don't live in reality like the rest of us do and praise her like she's a saint even though they know what she does.
Rant over.

CeeJC121013 · January 2014

@megs12914 sorry about your ILs family situation. I have a sister like that myself who I could write a novel about her taking advantage of my parents and my parents enabling her. To include buying her a house because she couldn't afford her rent (the $ no doubt goes to her habits instead) and giving her my moms car, meanwhile my mom has no transportation. Oh, I could go on and on. It's so tough to watch!!

My MIL isn't bad. It's my own mother that's bad. She came to help me, all the while nitpicking the way I do everything and snobishly telling me how she does everything. Which is a hoot coming from her because she is the worst cook and housekeeper ever. My house is like a palace compared to hers! If you came to help, then be a HELP!

MindyBadger1 · January 2014

Jack is being a crazy cluster feeder (yay! 1 month old!!)

so I'm going to post and run but I big puffy heart this thread. Can this be an official weekly thing? I have buttloads to contribute.

Arrgcr · January 2014

pashon432 said:
@megs12914 sorry about your ILs family situation. I have a sister like that myself who I could write a novel about her taking advantage of my parents and my parents enabling her. To include buying her a house because she couldn't afford her rent (the $ no doubt goes to her habits instead) and giving her my moms car, meanwhile my mom has no transportation. Oh, I could go on and on. It's so tough to watch!!

My MIL isn't bad. It's my own mother that's bad. She came to help me, all the while nitpicking the way I do everything and snobishly telling me how she does everything. Which is a hoot coming from her because she is the worst cook and housekeeper ever. My house is like a palace compared to hers! If you came to help, then be a HELP!

@pashon432 that is EXACTLY like my mother. Holy cow. Mom can cook good, if she decides to actually cook, but everything else is spot on. She walks in my house saying 'Arrgcr, you ought to be ashamed.' Every damn time. Well at least it isn't messy enough to need a trail and I have a very active 4 year old that can wreck a clean house in 6.4 seconds.

CeeJC121013 · January 2014

@arrgcr "messy enough to need a trail" haha. Parts of my moms house are actually like that! And she doesn't so much criticize how clean my house is as HOW to do things the right way.

Like asking my where my vegetable brush is. What? I don't have a vegetable brush?! How do I get my vegetables clean? (To which my husband replied "same reason we don't have a purple unicorn. Because its not a real thing!"

And taking my dishes I was loading into the dishwasher back out to practically clean them by hand first. And does she put them back in the dishwasher then? Nope, she leaves them out so I have to come back and put them into the dishwasher AGAIN.

susieandmarty · January 2014

suzalie said:

susieandmarty said:

suzalie said:
As I was sitting on the couch crying out of frustration that I was a breastfeeding failure, my MIL made the comment to DH (in front of me) that she had a feeling this would happen and she wishes she bought us the car seat and stroller instead of the Medela breast pump because now it's going to go to waste. I just got up and walked out of the room.
I would not gave held my tongue. She would feel my wrath

Crying is so foreign to me (thank you baby blues) that I tend to shut down when I cry. If I wasn't so emotional I would've said something. MIL is usually ok, but sometimes she says things that make you shake your head.

I had a lot of trouble bfing dd. I cried a lot. I did not have the baby blue but the breast feeding blues. It's tough

MamaP19 · January 2014

Rinny85 said:

@KatiesWei Similar to your MIL, my MIL said her baby (DH) was the cutest baby ever and that my baby was just "top 10."

@Rinny85 - WTF! Your LO is adorable. Who says that about their own grandchild? And who are these other 8 babies?!

My mom is the one to say hurtful things and soooo passive aggressively. Every time she held DD she would say things (to DD but directed at me) like, "You're not getting stimulated enough. Your mommy doesn't read to you or play with you enough, does she?" My mom had been at work all day so she had no idea wtf we did during the day but it still drove me nuts. Also, this is coming from a woman who tells everyone that I was such an easy baby she could put me in front of a disney movie all day on repeat... So thankful to not live near her anymore.

Tylynngrace · January 2014

My in-laws are going out of state to see SIL in February and are expecting, yes expecting without the option of saying no, us to watch their house and dog. Usually I'd say fine but with DS coming home soon I'm going to have to say lol nope. DH can but me and baby will be staying home.

Also the constant "you need to become a resident mom and stay with him until he comes home" texts are getting irritating. I'm at the hospital 6+ hours a day and nothing changes, it's not like he'll eat just because I'm there, he does it when he wants to. And no I will not bully my doctors into sending him home no matter how much I want him home.

emilytippett · January 2014

This thread is just what I need today! I am currently 8 days overdue and hearing old wives tales from just about everyone to kick-start labour. I got a text from my MIL saying "go on a bumpy car ride". Ok- just being nice and cute to encourage me. Then my mom, who is staying with me from out of province to help with baby writes on Facebook (why does she have to have Facebook lol) "come on baby! We are waiting for you" to which lots of her friends replied with more old wives tales. My MIL commented with "bumpy car ride". Then later commented again to "go have sex in a hot tub! That's what we did! But it could have also gotten us into the pregnancy situation too!" Really? Did you just write that to try and be funny? Or to fit in? So so weird.

twobluelines · January 2014

My MIL bought our baby a dig chew toy from the dollar store. Then she told her SIL it was a pet toy *in Romanian so I couldn't understand it) and said "after all children are a kind of pet".

Then she called us the other day to day she had made a little dress for our baby that wouldn't for her for very long (my MIL refused to get any vaccines so she has to wait still to meet her granddaughter). Turns out the reason that the dress is so small is because she followed the pattern for a cabbage patch doll outfit.

WTF if you are doing to make something make it to fit a child not a doll if you are buying her a toy make sure it conforms to safety standards for a child to put in her mouth. This beautiful girl is the love of my life. ... not a pet and not a toy.

Tylynngrace · January 2014

twobluelines said:
My MIL bought our baby a dig chew toy from the dollar store. Then she told her SIL it was a pet toy *in Romanian so I couldn't understand it) and said "after all children are a kind of pet".

Then she called us the other day to day she had made a little dress for our baby that wouldn't for her for very long (my MIL refused to get any vaccines so she has to wait still to meet her granddaughter). Turns out the reason that the dress is so small is because she followed the pattern for a cabbage patch doll outfit.

WTF if you are doing to make something make it to fit a child not a doll if you are buying her a toy make sure it conforms to safety standards for a child to put in her mouth. This beautiful girl is the love of my life. ... not a pet and not a toy.

She sounds insane! Who buys babies animal toys and makes them doll clothes to wear?! I'm so sorry you have to deal with her!

casholmes · January 2014

At the moment, she's sitting in the corner of the hospital room whining about 'wanting to hold that baby'. She also repeatedly tried to get the nurses to let her in before I got out of recovery, and after too when I said I wanted DH and I to have private time with him while I tried to nurse.

Also, last night when I got the epidural she said "They can't give it to you at 4cm, you have to be at least 8!". Uh..no...ans stop talking about your awful labor while I'm in labor myself!

xanadu94 · January 2014

So basically I usually enjoy my MIL but holy smokes! I was due a few days ago and she must think that a due date is actually an exact science because she has been texting my husband daily, about every hour or so, asking about any discharge or contractions I'm having. I really don't feel like sharing this with her! She needs to chill out and relax. When we have the baby, we will let her know!

berenely · January 2014

I'm so glad this thread was resurrected - I have some good ones that I wanted to add but couldn't find it. Ok, so here's mine:

- my MIL told me I should find someone with a snowmobile and ask them to take me for a ride because it could induce labor. Why sure, MIL, snowmobiling in -7 degree weather in 2 feet of snow sounds great! I'll get right on that! And that's totally safe too, right? Nevermind the fact that I saw on the news that some guy almost got decapitated for running into a barbed wire fence. Yes! That sounds right up my alley. FTR, I walked away after she said that.

- We were talking about baby names and we said that for a girl, DH and I really like the name Amelia. "Oh, how would you spell that? With an "E"? Then you could call her Emme for short!" If I wanted to call my daughter Emme, I would name her Emme.

- And now for my favorite! Are you ready?
We were talking about breastfeeding and DH asked her if he was breastfed as a baby. Her reply: "Oh no. After I was done being pregnant, your dad didn't want to share me with you again. He didn't want me to breastfeed you." Making it sound like FIL put his foot down and she did as she was told.
Ok, now I'm all for feeding your baby however you want - your baby, your decision. However, if my husband ever demanded I do something because he did or didn't want me to do it, we would be having a "coming to Jesus talk" right then and there.
Also, my FIL is the most frugal man I know. I'd go so far as to say cheap. He unscrews compact florescent light bulbs in their house because they use too much energy. It doesn't make any sense to me why he would "make" my MIL spend money on something she is producing for free. Maybe prices were different 30 years ago, I don't know.
Yes, I understand it's hard work, but to disregard your wife's wishes so easily and demand she do something because you don't want to share her (ew) ...let's just say I'm thankful my husband is NOTHING like his father.

Thanks for reading my long vent. I'm very pregnant and very cranky.

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