Community› The Bump Message Boards› Adoption
Adoption
New Discussion

Foster parents -Give me a pep talk on all the CPS visits, SW visits, licensing inspection, please!

davidandheatherdavidandheather member
in Adoption

We are using an outside agency to do foster to adopt through CPS so we have had an entourage of folks in our home since the placement on November 18th.  Previous CPS SW, CASA, New CPS SW, Adoption Prep Worker, our agency's SW, more I can't remember. I know they have a tough job and I need to respect that. I don't know why they need to go through our pantry and frig or come at naptime (naptime for this age is sacred!), but so be it.  I do struggle with the stress and tension and the having to undo all the damage it causes Little Lady everytime they come by. She has been moved 5 times in her short 3 years of life so worries everytime they come that she will get moved again. I keep telling her that we are her forever mom and dad and this is her forever home. We spend a  lot of time reassuring her, holding her, reading adoption books for her age. Then she is happy and content and another SW comes by. And so it goes. Her little brother is 2 and is unphased as long as he can see mommy the whole time, he has no worries.

So, I'd love advice on how to make these visits less stressful for the kids. Also, do the workers want to talk to you, or the kids, or to see you interacting with the kids? I am not clear.  My mom lives here so I often ask her to be available to help out if necessary and try to give the worker a little of all that -undivided attention while my mom plays with the kids, guide them in talking to the kids, and play with the kids and ignore the SW.

I'd also love advice on the annual licensing 'sampling' inspection. Ours is this Friday morning.  We have quarterly inspection by our agency and always do fine. This is is our first CPS licensing inspection.  The rumor is that the lady in our area is very particular and will open up almost every drawer in your house. She already got upset because she called my husband during a meeting to set the appointment and he told her he could not talk and would call her right back. She demanded that he talk right now, refused to call back, and then called our agency to complain about him.  I can tell already that she  is one of those kind of SWs.

How do I get through Friday?!

 

Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Report Reply to Post

Re: Foster parents -Give me a pep talk on all the CPS visits, SW visits, licensing inspection, please!

  • msditz00msditz00 member
    Yikes I haven't had that experience at all!  DCF has never opened and doors/drawers/the fridge/etc.  We have 2 foster children and after the initial visit when we got the girls they haven't asked to see past the dining room.  Sorry you're having such a rough experience!
    image

    5/10 - Gideon 6/12 Warren
    4/11 Started adoption process for 2 siblings through DCF. 10/12 Found out we are licensed! 12/14 Brought 3 week old identical twin girls home from the hospital.  Could be at least until Summer 1015 til we know if they are forever ours
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • davidandheatherdavidandheather member

     Kids have been in foster care for 2 years. Birth parents lost their rights in October. Most recent foster parents did not want to adopt. 2 Kinship placements failed. Kids went home at least once back to birthparents, but back to foster care. We were chosen as the adoptive family in October shortly after parents rights were terminated. They moved in mid November and placement was just days later on the 18th.

    We had the permanency hearing a few weeks ago and CASA asked to be removed from the case.

      Now we have our case worker with the outside agency stopping by once a month and the CPS adoption prep worker once a month. Friday is the annual licensing inspection. It should just be the two visitors once a month from now on until finalization. The ones who come regular just sit in the rocking chair in the living room and chat and don't go anywhere else. It was the entourage in the very beginning that had to check through everything.

     I think the move in was just chaotic and it was an open door of visitors because of what these kids have been through and just the way they are in this particular community. Others in this area have talked of similar nightmares with CPS in and out of their home and going through drawers. They have not found anything here to complain about. They just like to really dig in and show the world who is boss around here.

    As far as when finalization will happen. We are waiting for all the redactive files to come through before we can finalize. One caseworker says it will be about 3 months to finalization. Another one says about a year because the courts are very behind with these files in this area. She told that to the judge at the permanency hearing and the judge told her to move everything forward as fast as she could and not delay these kids a forever home any longer.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • msditz00msditz00 member
    I hope for your family's sake they can finalize it soon!
    image

    5/10 - Gideon 6/12 Warren
    4/11 Started adoption process for 2 siblings through DCF. 10/12 Found out we are licensed! 12/14 Brought 3 week old identical twin girls home from the hospital.  Could be at least until Summer 1015 til we know if they are forever ours
    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    Report Reply
  • CheleChele member
    Wow, that sounds nuts, all those visits! We just became licensed in October and are waiting for a placement but I hope this isn't the way it goes in my state, eek!

    I think you should focus on the endgame and focus on the fact that each visit puts you one step closer to being a forever family. It will all be worth it in the end!  
    10/27/07
    Report Reply
  • sisibellesisibelle member
    We received visits monthly from the permanency worker and our adoption worker and that's all. Usually the beginning of the placement is when it's the busiest and it does die down. Our annual licensing wax a brief tour of the house and checking for smoke alarms.
    Report Reply
  • sgb721sgb721 member
    See on the one hand- I totally understand the supervision visits in the months between placement and finalization to ensure safety and security for the children. On the other hand it feels so frustrating because of all the finger printing, workshops, classes, clearances, waiting, etc., we've already gone through to have the opportunity to adopt. 98% of the time we've chosen to become parents through adoption because of our best intentions- its the 2% of awful adoptive parents that ruin it. Yet, anyone that births a baby can take their child home and unless someone reports them, can do as they please. They don't need clerances, classes, workshops, etc. Its just frustrating.

    Sorry your going through this- I'm hoping that finalization comes quickly for your family!!!!
    TTC since June 2010
    5 Angels

    Lilypie - (hlC0)
    Report Reply
  • davidandheatherdavidandheather member
    Strawberry, you nailed it. It is the jealousy of the others who don't have to go through all this! It will be worth it though. Today, she grabbed my hand at the park and said "mommy, we stick together. we are a family." I tell her that all the time. It was so sweet to hear her repeat it!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • IhopeIhope member
    The following is the case for my county but I do not know if it is the same everywhere. I work in this field and all I can say is that the best foster parents usually have the toughest times with the caseworkers. i.e. A good foster parent that advocates strongly for what a child needs may appear to be a nuisance to the caseworker because it is more work for them. This is a sad truth. Most counties have foster parent support groups and I think this is an invaluable help. The caseworker has a lot of power over what happens/decisions made. In the meantime, I would say you have to learn to do the dance with the caseworker and figure out how to get them to be most cooperative with you.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"