Breaks My Heart — The Bump
January 2013 Moms

Breaks My Heart

So DD has been having a tough transition back to daycare since my winter break, I posted about this earlier. She had an awesome long weekend home, I was off Monday and she stayed home yesterday for her birthday. I know that did not help but daycare was closed Monday too and DH took her birthday off months ago to be home with her. She was so content this weekend and even let us leave the room without fussing. I thought maybe she was getting over this phase, but as soon as we got to daycare she clung to me and cried after I put her down. Her provider held her as I walked out the door, but the face DD gave me with tears coming down her face broke my heart and made me cry. Please tell me this phase will go away! It makes it so hard to go to work and stay focused. I feel like a bad mama for working.....
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Re: Breaks My Heart

  • my son has been going through this stage and I SAH with him! I think it's just an age thing. If i even leave the room to use the  bathroom, he cries. Even when my H is there with him! And if H leaves the room, and I stay with the little one, he cries then too! He only wants us all to be together! It will be ok, it's just a change in schedule,and when their little schedules change, they have one rough day of transition. Hopefully she will be back to her smiling self this afternoon!
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  • DS was sick before Christmas so my mom came down and watched him. He was out of dc for about 2 weeks. The first week back, he would cling to me and cry when dc took him. I felt terrible but he always stopped crying before I left the building. Now it's back to normal. Just hang in there!
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  • This is age where separation anxiety and stranger aversion peak. So it is unfortunately completely normal. I am a SAHM and am with my son 99.99999% of the time, and he still cries right now when i leave the room. He also falls apart when daddy leaves for work. This is all pretty recent. I give him extra cuddles, until he decides he wants down, and play it by ear. In your case i would do something special, calm, and loving every evening with her after you all get home. Our bed time routine is a bath, then he curls up with me and his last bottle of the day, and daddy read to us. He loves it. Might be worth trying? Good luck mama. You are not a bad mom at all, obviously since this is hurting you so much. You obviously care deeply for her, and working to help support her doesn't change that. Just hang in there. This will pass with time. ((Hugs))
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    7/5/11 MC at 8 weeks. 5/17/12 BFP, twins EDD 1/20/13! 6/20/12 Baby B's heart has stopped beating. 8/31/12 Baby A is a boy! And is perfectly healthy and thriving. 1/19/2013 emergency c-section, Thoren is perfect. 3/1/2013 told i will never be able to conceive again. 12/16/13 told they were wrong! 


  • I'm sorry that's so hard :( I'm only a way from DD a few days a week so it's not as bad but I agree with PPs that separation anxiety seems to be a theme at this age.

    Stay strong and know it's temporary. But my heart breaks for you both!
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  • DD2 did this to me when I left for work yesterday -- and then did it when the nanny left at the end of the day. And, when DH left the room to grab dinner last night....she's going through an extra-needy no-change-please phase. ;)
    TTC Since 11/10 due to Unexplained IF 
    4 Rounds of Clomid, 2 Rounds of Femara + IUI, 2 rounds of IUI+ Injectables (Bravelle + Menopur) = First BFP! TWIN GIRLS!

    November 2, 2012 - Claire (2lbs 8.9oz) and Paige (2lbs 10oz) arrive at 29w3d due to PTL and pPROM at 28w5d 
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  • We have a version of this problem.  DD is really attached to her MAIN daycare workers, but if they take a break and someone else comes in to watch the infant room she has a meltdown.  I arrived to pick her up the other day and she was with a "stranger" because her main teachers had appts., etc.  She was INCONSOLABLE, and took about 30 minutes for her to calm down.

    I do try to be responsive to her current stranger danger - I told them to call me next time and I'd come get her or be in the room with her while she acclimates to a new teacher. I know it's only a phase, but the stress is real for kids this young.  It might not be possible, but it might be helpful to take some time off work to be there with your DD at daycare to help her re-acclimate after vacation.  It might make both of you feel better!  If not, know that she will be okay in the long run.  I know how tough it is :).


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  • You are absolutely not a bad mom for working. At all. I work from home and my DD still freaks out when I leave the room. It's a phase and it of course breaks your heart--because you're a good mama who loves her LO. It will get better!
    Our little Samosa arrives in January!
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