Working moms may understand

blondii428 · January 2014

As if I already didn't feel bad enough about how much of my son's life and milestones I'm missing, one of my SAHM friends decided it would be nice to invite us to go to their baby play class--which is during the work week. I feel so sad and awful that DS has to miss out on fun stuff like this because I have to work. This hasn't been the first time I've felt like a horrible mommy for working and I'm sure it won't be the last..

krose0713 · January 2014

I think about this a lot too. I have a friend who teaches an infant play gym class, and she's always commenting how much Evie would love it. But then I also remember the flip side; that I am working so we can go on family vacations, and pay for her college, and so that daddy can be around just as much as mommy (instead of him working a second job).

kimberlymacrae · January 2014

I'm a working momma so I totes understand! Is there someone you can ask to take DS to the class? For example our family we have a 17 teenage girl that is a family friend. In your case I would ask her if she wouldn't mind taking DS to that event, take pictures for me, etc.

Or I would ask a family friend to pick DS up from day-care (if you do day-care) and possibly meet me at the place of the play date and I would take a LONG lunch and try and fit it in...

MegStark · January 2014

I totally understand. I also think we need to be proud of our decisions to work. My mom worked the majority of the time I was young, and I always looked up to her. She and my dad both taught me great work ethic, and that it's okay to have career goals as well as a strong family bond. It's definitely a balancing act. I'm also with @krose0713, I'm so excited about the family vacations and extra savings we have with a double income.

Also, I don't know your situation, but I look at LO's Daycare as her baby play class. Wish I could be there to see her interact with the other babies, but at least I know she's having fun and "making friends" at such a young age

sapphire0228 · January 2014

Well, if it makes you feel any better: I work but I bring LO with me to work and I still feel like I'm missing out. I work 6 days a week though (Mondays off). Even though she's here with me I feel like I'm not with her enough.

Yesterday, I had an extra day off and it was amazing to be at home for two days, like a weekend!

We can't keep feeling bad for what we're doing. As long as our main goal is the health and happiness of our family and LO we are doing it right!

ginamarie1005 · January 2014

MegStark said:
I totally understand. I also think we need to be proud of our decisions to work. My mom worked the majority of the time I was young, and I always looked up to her. She and my dad both taught me great work ethic, and that it's okay to have career goals as well as a strong family bond. It's definitely a balancing act. I'm also with @krose0713, I'm so excited about the family vacations and extra savings we have with a double income.

Also, I don't know your situation, but I look at LO's Daycare as her baby play class. Wish I could be there to see her interact with the other babies, but at least I know she's having fun and "making friends" at such a young age

This exactly! It's tough, but I keep telling myself it's worth it for his future and the daycare provides such great interaction for our LO.

mkb5g5 · January 2014

I'm following this and just wanted to thank everyone! I'm having some major anxiety about finding work and leaving LO. But y'all have really made me feel better about making this decision.

blondii428 · January 2014

Thanks for the support ladies, its helps to remember that I'm not the only one in this boat. My mom watches DS-- we can't afford daycare, so other than a few weekend playdates he won't get much interaction. That's why it would have been so awesome. My mom also doesn't drive much, a few trips to the corner gas station here and there, so having her take him isn't an option. Maybe I can find a weekend class or something.

stephl3055 · January 2014

Do they have any weekend classes? LO is in daycare and I know she will get plenty of interaction with the other kids and the teachers, so I don't feel too bad about missing out of things like this.

PS @blondii428, I've been trying to find a non-creepy way to tell you that I think your LO and my LO are twinkies, at least based on the pictures in your signature. DD has the same cheeks and smile.

AlejandraN2 · January 2014

I know exactly how you feel. When I was on maternity leave i became friends with a few SAHMs and we did long lunches together and playdates. Now i feel like i only have time for that in the weekend, but then i'd rather spend time with my hubby and other friends that don't necessarily have kids. They tell me about swim classes, and mommy and me classes and i'd love to take her, but i can't find the time now and plus we can't really afford to take classes. We can hardly make the daycare costs (daycare in NYC area is ridiculous). I know SAHMs don't have it easy at all, but i still feel guilty for not spending every minute with her.

But like PPs said, we're doing this for our family and for what works for each of us. Seems just becoming a mom comes with a big dose of guilt, regardless of where that comes from. Just have to believe that each of us is doing what's best for our little ones.

mmdd20 · January 2014

One thing that has helped me has been finding weekend and evening classes. At 6 months, I enrolled DS in swim lessons two nights a week (parent and me). And we frequent the weekend story times at the library. I always get a little sad when I look at schedules and see that 90% of the classes aren't an option for us, but we work around and it and don't really feel any sort of guilt anymore.

blondii428 · January 2014

steph 13055 said:

Do they have any weekend classes? LO is in daycare and I know she will get plenty of interaction with the other kids and the teachers, so I don't feel too bad about missing out of things like this.

PS @blondii428, I've been trying to find a non-creepy way to tell you that I think your LO and my LO are twinkies, at least based on the pictures in your signature. DD has the same cheeks and smile.

steph 13055 how cute! Did you mean to say twinkies or was that an autocorrect? I've never heard it before but that's totally adorable.

stephl3055 · January 2014

It might be a local thing, but I've always heard or used "twinkies" as a way to say two things or people look alike or are matching. Here's a picture of DD if you want to compare.

blondii428 · January 2014

Oh my goodness they do look alike!!

ETA: Love your natural badge--I had to get one too!

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